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Best Lee H Baucom podcasts we could find (updated July 2020)
Best Lee H Baucom podcasts we could find
Updated July 2020
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Can one person save a marriage, even if your spouse doesn’t want it?I do say that my Save The Marriage System can save your marriage, even if only you want it.But what can you really do, if your spouse is checked out and not sure they want to stay married?I answer another listener question in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast. Is it rea…
 
Another listener question is the topic of this week’s episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast. The question focuses on an affair… and leaving it. What do you do about the strong attraction that can develop with the affair partner?What if your brain is telling you the feelings are real… and if they are there, maybe it was meant to be? What if you k…
 
Marriages start at the same place: two people in love, ready to face the world together. And most believe they have already beaten the odds. Their love is “the real thing,” enduring and lasting. It won’t fall apart like those other marriages. They have already won.Except they haven’t.Some marriages keep on moving forward, resolute and solid, loving…
 
My car is in for service. Usually, that means I am in their lounge, trying my best to work with daytime TV blaring in the background. But due to COVID, I decided to leave it there and head for home. Now, I am just waiting for the call to pick it up.It’s just regular maintenance today (fingers crossed). But there were other cars there for repairs.Wh…
 
The #1 reason people sought me out for couples counseling: “We are just not connected.” The #1 reason why marriages end up failing: “We are just too disconnected."What happened? That connection you had at the beginning of your marriage… where did it go?I can tell you the biggest reason why couples become disconnected: life gets in the way. Or more …
 
Your marriage is in trouble. You know you want to save your relationship, but you aren’t sure how.Step #1 is surviving.Confession: I have an abiding interest in survival. I’m the guy who reads all the scuba accident reports, the shark attack reports, and the mountaineering accident reports.Why do those who survive make it through? What makes a diff…
 
At the beginning of a coaching session, my clients often tell me what they have been focused on in their marriage crisis. Almost always, they are focusing on the wrong things.And in the process, they are not focusing on the right things.Where we focus is what gets our attention. Focus on the wrong things, and the wrong things get our attention… our…
 
“Why is marriage so hard?” That is a question I often hear from struggling couples.What happened? All of that love, all the connection, seems to disappear, to be replaced with struggle and strife.At the start, it seemed so easy. You wanted to be together, to spend your life together. Then… something shifted. Things got tough.Does that mean that the…
 
Your spouse thinks it’s hopeless. You may even be wondering that, too. But is it? Is it hopeless?Or is the problem that your spouse is hopeless — not the situation?Let’s be honest: if you give up hope, it may become a hopeless situation.Sometimes, having hope is not based on seeing the way. We find the way because we hold onto hope.In my latest boo…
 
“Our marriage is broken,” she told me. “We don’t have the passion anymore, so I don’t think we should stay married.”Missing passion… is it the end of marriage, or something else?Most relationships are sparked by infatuation. Call it passion or romance, but the desire to be with that person, that overwhelming attraction, is a building-block for a lo…
 
If a marriage crisis was not enough to deal with… now we have a pandemic. And if that was not enough, we are self-isolating. The pandemic isn’t anything we can control. Self-isolating is best for ourselves and others.What, though, does that mean about your marriage crisis? How do you deal with that? In the midst of the pandemic? And while self-isol…
 
“I’m just out of energy,” she told me, “I don’t think I can even try to save my marriage. Besides, what is the point?"Let’s face it: right now, many people are feeling exhausted and drained. And working to save a marriage can be tiring when the world is rightside-up. Much less when everything feels upside down!Many people feel pulled in so many que…
 
I can’t count how many times a couple has come to me for “help with our communication skills.” Funny thing is, they communicate just fine.Then why are they stuck in conflict? Why are they disconnected? Why does it seem like they aren’t on the same team?Perceptions. About each other and about the situation that caused the conflict.And because they h…
 
Unless you are hiding out in a cave somewhere (I read about a person who had been on a silent retreat — went in with everything normal and came out to the pandemic), your world has been topsy-turvy.We will get through this. The pandemic will pass. But this isn’t about, “and then, we will get back to life.” Life is happening right now. And we won’t …
 
Are you suddenly finding yourself and your spouse stuck together, thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic? Is it suddenly very close quarters?If your marriage wasn’t struggling before, this may be the stressor that pushes your relationship into crisis.Or it might just be the turning point to a thriving marriage.What can you do during this time, for yoursel…
 
The phrase, “Stay the Course,” comes from the commitment in battle to continue moving toward your goal, regardless of obstacles or difficulties. So first, let’s let go of the battle analogy. You aren’t in battle. But you are fighting for your marriage.And in this moment, you are fighting to keep yourself and your family safe.Those are the goals. An…
 
First, you were caught in the swirling whirlwind of a marriage crisis. Now, to add to that, a pandemic is taking over. Whatever fears you had about your marriage are now layered with your concerns about your health (and the health of loved ones).It is amazing how quickly things are moving. This crisis has been on the radar since the first of the ye…
 
I get that question very frequently: “What happened? Where did the love go?"Maybe you feel it, maybe you hear it. The end result is the same: one or both people just not feeling it… not feeling love. Maybe “I love you, but I’m not IN love with you.” Or maybe, “I care about you, but I don’t love you.” Or maybe more simply, “I don’t love you.”Then wh…
 
Over the last couple of episodes, I have been looking at what wrecks marriage. First, I discussed Expectations. Then, I discussed Disconnection.In this episode, we look at another “Marriage Wrecker”: Conflict.Yes, I know, plenty of people will tell you that conflict is inevitable in marriage. And it is certainly true that every marriage… any relati…
 
Your marriage is hurting. Why? What happened? What wrecked your marriage?In the last podcast episode, I discussed how expectations can wreck a marriage.But unfortunately, there are some other issues and concerns that can wreck your marriage. This week’s Marriage Wrecker is right at the top of the list.In fact, it is a recurring theme in my work wit…
 
“What can I expect from my spouse?” That was the lead question. Because over and over, her expectations had not been met.“Expectations,” I told her, “can wreck your marriage."“Which expectations?”, she asked.I noted, “Any."But shouldn’t you have expectations? Shouldn’t you be able to expect things from your spouse?Let me ask you question: How’s tha…
 
She started the conversation by telling how she was confused… her spouse had confused her. He said he didn’t feel safe enough to share his emotions, didn’t feel safe enough to move back into their bedroom, didn’t feel safe enough to talk through their issues. She told me, “I have never hurt him or threatened to hurt him. How can he feel unsafe?"Saf…
 
Miranda asked me, “What do I do? My spouse is hopeless that we can save our marriage. I’m losing hope, too."A couple of weeks ago, I did a training for members of my VIP Program, noting three barriers in the way of a spouse working on the marriage… along with how to respond. One of those barriers is hopelessness.But if a spouse is hopeless… how can…
 
What do you do when a spouse declares, “I’m not happy,” as the reason the marriage has to end? Or how about, “You’re not happy,” or “I can’t make you happy”?I have heard this reason given over and over. It is a common (but false) belief that a marriage needs to end because spouses can’t make each other happy.The fact is, you cannot make your spouse…
 
Too many times — in my office, by email, on phone calls — I hear a spouse rationalizing their decision that the marriage cannot possibly succeed because, “We’re just opposites, too different to make it.”But is it true? Are you “opposites”? (How are humans ever actually “opposite”?) And for the sake of argument, does that doom your relationship?In t…
 
“It suddenly fell apart,” Jenny told me. As far as she could tell, everything had been great until… one day… her husband said, “our marriage is over.” Before that, Jenny said, there had been no trouble.Why did it all come tumbling down?Rob told me that, sure, there had been some issues along the way. But he didn’t know his wife was ready to leave… …
 
You apologized to your spouse… maybe on your own, or maybe because I suggested it.And......Nothing. Nada. Zero. Zilch.No change, no difference.Does that mean that your efforts are over? That your attempts to save your marriage are a failure?Just to reassure you, an apology letter with no response does not necessarily mean it was a failure. And it s…
 
Audrey wrote me to ask, “I just can’t get started on my marriage. What’s wrong with me?"She wrote in as a listener of my podcast. (And if you have a question for the podcast, send it to me here: Podcast@SaveTheMarriage.com)IF she WANTS to save her marriage, then WHY CAN’T SHE GET STARTED?There are some reasons why people get stuck and can’t get sta…
 
Do you settle down with a good book you have read over and over this time of year? I read my kids the exact same Christmas book every single year. And many years, I re-read a classic for myself… like A Christmas Carol. This year, I want to offer a redux of a prior podcast episode… about the Ghosts of Your Relationship Past. Yep. Christmas, with new…
 
We continue with listeners’ questions on the Save The Marriage Podcast. And in this episode, I pull together a central question about “Should we stay together because of this Insert Bad Reason Here?"Several people told me they were still married, just for the sake of the kids. Several told me that their spouse was still there because they could not…
 
“Should I even keep fighting for my marriage?”, asks “G.”Oof, that word… “fighting.” I hear it often. But so many times, when someone says they are “fighting for” their marriage, they end up “fighting against” their spouse. The spouse who doesn’t see how to move forward.Which is rarely helpful for the process. But I watch person after person “suit …
 
Over the last episodes, I have been answering listener questions (you can submit your question by email - CLICK HERE). In this episode, I respond to Susan. She wants to guarantee that she does not get divorced.So, I reveal how you can guarantee that you won’t get divorced (you may not like my answer, but it is important).And then, I discuss what to…
 
When life is hard, Holidays can feel heavy. When there is a marriage crisis, it can be tough to muster the energy to even move forward — especially when all the commercials and movies push the “merry and bright” of a mythic holiday.And here we are, on the cusp of the Holiday season! It cuts across nations and beliefs. The season is here.A client re…
 
It is such a common demand from a spouse during a marital crisis: “I need space! You just need to give me space!”Yet here I am, telling you to connect with your spouse, to rebuild the broken connection that led to the crisis.Are they opposites?One listener to the Save The Marriage Podcast was wondering. Which means that others might be wondering th…
 
Things hit a bad spot in your marriage… and your spouse isn’t sure about staying or leaving the marriage. Sure, it may have been a relationship issue, but you may be feeling blamed.It’s pretty common to go looking for the “bad guy” in any situation. And even if both of you are in pain and frustrated, you may be wanting to stay. While you may be abl…
 
What do you do when you feel like giving up, like nothing you do is making a difference? Or when your spouse says you are trying to hard, or acting strange? Or when you have dragged your spouse to retreats, therapy, workshops… and at every turn, your spouse throws up a wall?What do you do to push through?That assumes that, for right now, giving up …
 
Relationships of any depth and any magnitude are going to hit up against conflict. It is just the nature of being close to someone. You are going to have differences that emerge. It is not a question of if, but when those differences appear. And then there is another question: how do you deal with the conflict? Does it serve to push you apart or do…
 
In the last episode, I answered questions about infidelity and marriage. Well, I started answering questions. Since I started asking for your questions, I have received quite a few about affairs and infidelity. So, I continue answering questions in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast.Last episode, we focused more on what to do while there…
 
Someone cheated. What now? Can a marriage survive infidelity, either physical or emotional? Can a relationship recover after an affair?Over the past while, I have been answering listener questions (you can submit by emailing here). And this week, we turn our attention to the subject of infidelity and affairs (both physical and emotional).To be hone…
 
Is separation the best scenario for saving a marriage?No. Many times, a separation ends up being a "dress rehearsal for divorce." Living separately creates patterns of separation. Connection becomes more difficult.But is it all for naught?Not necessarily.For a number of episodes now, I have been answering questions from listeners (you can email you…
 
For awhile, I have been answering listener-submitted questions, and continue to do so in this episode (if YOU want to ask a question, send it to podcast@savethemarriage.com).This week, I respond to a couple of questions about a spouse's indifference and/or resistance to attempts at connection.It can be frustrating when you so desperately want to re…
 
Jared was a bit more pointed in his question. But to be fair, I HAVE been asking for people to submit questions. And he did.He told me straight up, "You tell me to connect with my spouse. Well, I've been trying to do that. If I've been trying and it isn't working, what are you gonna teach me that will make a difference?"Fair question.So I responded…
 
"I need some encouragement," the note ended. The writer is a listener of my podcast and admitted the hard work that has gone into trying to save his marriage.At the same time, another listener asked about whether this effort -- the work to save her marriage -- was just a "waste of time." Could I, the writer wanted to know, point to some hope? Some …
 
Lately on the podcast, I have been answering listener questions. And quite a few have come in about how depression affects a marriage. Does depression cause a crisis? Or do people get depressed because of the crisis? Or... and this is more central to the question... how do you deal with depression and a marriage crisis?Depression is a reality for m…
 
Question: does an affair cause marital problems or do marital problems cause affairs?Answer: YES.Longer answer: for the majority of affairs, weak points in the marriage create a vulnerability to infidelity. There is another necessary element... but problems do cause vulnerability. But when infidelity is committed, the problem deepens. Affairs end u…
 
I'm still answering your questions! If you have a question you want me to cover on the podcast, just SEND ME AN EMAIL HERE.Today, we cover "time." Or more specifically, "How Long?" The questions come from 2 listeners, "B" and "J."B asked about how long it takes to recover from broken trust. He follows up with wondering about PTSD symptoms and break…
 
"A" has been trying to set boundaries with her husband. Trying to get the treatment she deserves. Trying to get the relationship to a healthy spot.But then, her spouse throws a little shade her way... rolling eyes, using a demeaning tone. What should she do to set a boundary on that?, she asks.During the last few episodes of the Save The Marriage P…
 
What do you do if your spouse decides they need to work on themselves... and then they may (or may not) be willing to work on the marriage? What do you do if your spouse just refuses to work on your marriage?That is the question of the week, asked by Sam. He said his wife wants to better herself. Then, maybe she would address the marriage.As part o…
 
Phil asked, "How do you know you are making progress?" And perhaps fearing that the signs point the other way, he also asked, "how long is long enough to be trying before it is unhealthy for me."Those are two great, if somewhat polarized, questions. They point to fears of not being able to save a relationship. What to look for? And what to do if th…
 
"Gem" wrote me after a recent episode of my podcast. In that episode, a therapist said, after one single session (where divorce had not been mentioned) that the client needed to prepare for divorce.In Gem's case, her husband used therapy as the excuse that they "had tried therapy but it didn't work." But he went further, saying that if Gem did not …
 
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