Send us a text "Can it be? ...it's my own particular one and only four starred pussy. The super pussy of all old pussies..."* IT'S MISS MARPLE! And it's Jane Marple in midsomer land with a high body count and bonkers deaths. We LOVED this and quite frankly, we don't care if you didn't. It's even got Matt from Busted in it. Apols for the cameos by L…

Send us a Text Message. Stop me if you've heard this: A detective from the Met Police gets transferred to a complelety different jurisdiction and has to join a team of quirky locals to solve a baffling murder. Nope, it's not Death in Paradise, it's not even McDonald and Dodds! Because we're in Turkey this time, for the Turkish Detective! No cliche …

Send us a Text Message. "IT'S ALL RIGHT, IT'S OK, DOESN'T REALLY MATTER IF YOU'RE OLD AND GREY...!" You're welcome, everyone. It's New Tricks, and we have the OG team of Sandra, Jerry, Jack, and Brian. There's a lot of stomping around wearing macs, grumbling, and trying to get straight answers out of people. The late, great, Dennis Waterman sings t…

Send us a text In Professor T we have another psychology professor who helps the police solve crimes, but Jasper Tempest is no Cracker. Thankfully. There are singing teapots, bubbles aplenty, and a badger. Or a fellow called Badger. We don't dwell too much on the crime in this one, but get slightly distracted with a subplot focusing on questionable…

Send us a text In this episode we take the adage "if you don't laugh, you'll cry," to the absolute maximum. And friends, we manage not to cry. It's 1993 and Edward "Fitz" Fitzgerald has been, you've guessed it, hired as a consultant to the police. He traumatises everyone around him, which is weird considering he supposed to be such an amazing psych…

Send us a text It's 1973 and Sam Tyler is mad, in a coma, or back in time. There are HUGE lapels, clicky man heels, indoor smoking, and some alledged cattle rustling. We're not sure if we're supposed to fancy Gene Hunt, but we're not judging you if you do. There's a lot of football in this one, but don't let that put you off. There's a lot to love …

Send us a text DI Humphrey Goodman has left St Marie in the Caribbean and is now living in the fictional town of Shipton Abbot in Devon with his partner, Martha. And Martha's mother. And a duck named Selwyn. You're not going to believe it, but there's been a MURDER! On a steam train! It's all very Agatha Christie and Lily can barely contain her exc…

Send us a text Oh Dame Helen, WE ARE NOT WORTHY! Despite this episode being actually quite dull in places, and much of it being centered around municipal council decision making processes, it was still weirdly brilliant. That is you can get past the middle aged bank managers masquerading as teenagers, an apparently bog standard sex death, and the t…

Send us a Text Message. Calling all Cumberbitches! It's time for Sherlock! We're back in 2010 and it's all whip zooms, split screens, and sharp dialogue. And luckily for you lot, it's not the Marlow Murder club. Although, perhaps, we mention it once or twice. At time of recording this episode was available on BBC Iplayer in the UK and on Hulu in th…

Send us a text Let's be honest, this wasn't our most favouritist crime drama ever. There should be a lot to like: multiple deaths, the Freemasons, regatta blazers, and a plucky dog... but ultimately we thought it was a punting nightmare. Ps. We still love Samantha Bond, we do. We just wish she had been a bit more...corrigible. At the time of record…

Send us a text Detective Superintendent Peter Boyd and the newly formed Cold Case Unit are investigating (and solving, goddamit) cold cases in this here London town. People shout in each other's faces, tell each other not to f**k it up, and breath heavily, showing the weight of the task in hand. It's intense. This episode is all about Lex's massive…

Send us a text A duffle coat, a windmill, and a whole load of implausible plot... Yep, it's Jonathan Creek! This week we have a slightly robotic woman who gets clonked on the head, a man who gets shot through a spyhole, a woman wearing pvc in summer, a MASSIVE video camera, and a whole bunch of high jinx with VCRs, VHS, and a wardrobe. Oh, and some…

Send us a text Endeavour has aged into Morse and this time he's investigating a murder in a low security prison. He's supported by an absolutely steller cast of actors, most of whom are sporting their most misjudged hairdos of all time. We do dig into the story and the characters, but mainly this is a review of people's hair in 1992. At time of rec…

Send us a text Channel Five's answer to the question nobody asked: What would you get if you did a mash up of Eldorado and Acorn Antiques, and made it a whodunnit? You get Shayne Ward as an ex serious crimes detective working as a singer on a cruise ship, that's what. If you're looking for a serious appraisal of C5's forat into the genre, maybe don…

Send us a Text Message. It's Oldham, it's 2011 and Rachel Bailey (Suranne Jones) is worried that people think she's a "shag bandit rubber knickers". Whether she is or not is not really our concern, but she could spend less time shaking up bottles of coke and obsessing over her scumbag ex, and more time on the scumbag whose wife just died under myst…

Send us a text It's the 100th episode of Death in Paradise! How could we let this one pass us by? AND it has Sean Maguire! Dear lord, such excitement. This episode sees Commissioner Selwyn Patterson, the boss, the police veteran, get shot, and the team having to solve his attempted murder. There's no goat, but there are turn ups, dungarees, handwri…

Send us a text Mes amis! It's here! Welcome to the world of Agatha Christie's Poirot, and it's simply delightful (gruesome murders and even more gruesome fake beards aside). We have a locked room mystery, unbreakable alibis, and a bit of fancy dress. It's golden age detective fiction at it's finest and we loved it. Lily once again misspoke so this …

Send us a text Welcome to Morse's origin story! It's Oxford in 1965 and young Endeavour is somberly pursuing villains left, right and centre. However, in a world where child abuse is normalised, Morse upsets people by attempting to fulfill his job description, and one character takes victim blaming to a whole new level, we won't blame him for rarel…

Send us a text The January blues are upon us and the atmospheric gloom of DI Annika Strandhed's Marine Homocide Unit feels apt. We discuss what to do with a whale carcass, Lex's in-laws get another roasting, and Lily loses patience with a fictional teenage girl. In many ways it's not our finest hour, but at least we didn't harpoon anyone. No whales…

Send us a text Merry Christmas one and all! Welcome to our first Christmas episode! We're on planet Midsomer for this one and, naturally, it's completely bananas. A slightly low body count for our liking, but there are magicians, murders (both actual and attempted), a magnificiently bad cracker joke, and a someone accidently shooting themselves in …

Send us a text Ah, it's the 1950s in Cambridgeshire and we're with the lovely Reverend Sidney Chambers. Swoon! We have some exhausting adultery, confusing whisky swapping, and impressive hair styling, so what's not to love? We also have Robson, without Jerome. And Amanda, WHO WE'RE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT. Grantchester is available to stream on ITV…

Send us a text 'Tis the season! Not for Christmas, calm down, but for coughs and colds and all things poorly making. If you have been affected by one of these season snifflies you could do worse than curling up on the sofa with your lemsip and binge watch Shakespeare and Hathaway. There's marriage, betrayal, a disguise, lutes, and plenty of silly h…

Send us a text Welcome to 2003! It’s Blue Murder with Caroline Quentin. There’s disembowelling, lots of laundry, some confusing logistics relating to a sanitary bin, and a potential attack using breadcrumbs. Truly, in the world of DCI Janine Lewis, danger really does lurk on every corner. We really enjoyed this one and we hope you do to. Apologies …

Send us a text A bit of housekeeping and a few Q&As from our lovely listeners. If you have a question or comment for us you can email us at crimedramaqueens@gmail.com or find us on Instagram @crimedramaqueens and Facebook on our Crime Drama Queens page. We are unwilling to go mushroom picking at this time. Original artwork by Mike Luckie instagram.…

Send us a text It's Bath, it's 2018, and, much to Lex's dismay, Robert Lindsay is breaking the fourth wall. There is a LOT to discuss in this episode, not least: 1. Why is Bath being treated as if it has seceded from the UK? 2. Why are the met police sent it to solve crimes EVERYWHERE? 3. Why would you commit a murder this way?? WHY??? And then the…

Send us a text Welcome to Denton: a world of child abduction, bank robbery, murder, and the slut shaming of a fourteen year old. It's fun! It's a depressing dollop of gritty realism and despite hating it, we sort of loved it too. Join us, DI Frost, Linda Love, and more, as we journey together towards the most grotesque barbecue ever shown on prime …

Send us a text The one where Lily recorded in the kitchen and it sounds like she's in tin can. Join us as we dive head first into the unnerving world of Midsomer Murders! As usual with Midsomer there is a high body count, bizarre characters, and some fairly unpleasant twists. Unpleasant characters and bizarre twists? All of the above. Apologies for…

Send us a text Welcome to our first episode! This week we are covering Death in Paradise, season one episode one. If you're new to Death in Paradise don't worry, Lex is too. This episode is all about the joys of locked/unlocked room mysteries, people smuggling, and Sean Maguire being locked in a cell with a goat. What more could you want? (please d…

Send us a text Welcome to Crime Drama Queens! Join hosts Lex and Lily as they watch, or rewatch, their favourite crime dramas and murder mysteries. Get those little grey cells ready, the game is afoot! Original artwork by Mike Luckie instagram.com/mikeluckieillustration/ Music: Mystery Box by V. Draganov…