I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for 30 years, TEDx speaker, and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or that it somehow suggests you can't fix your own problems. My team is very honored that eight years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question. You’ll also hear “You Get the ...
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400 SelfWork: The Tragedy of Perfectly Hidden Depression: A Conversation with Penny Gray
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Perfectly hidden depression can end in tragedy. I don’t quite remember when Penny Gray and I first talked. It was after 2019 when PHD was published. But not long after. She’s the widow of a man, Dave, who tragically fit the rubric of perfectly hidden depression. She tells the story in this interview about how she happened upon the term "perfectly h…
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399 SelfWork: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): A Conversation with Dr. Diana Hill
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Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a fast-growing therapeutic model that I wanted you here at SelfWork to know more about. So, I reached out to Dr. Diana Hill who's an expert on the technique and a firm believer/practitioner in what it has to offer. ACT seems to offer safety and structure, which of course is vital in therapy. I found her to…
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398 SelfWork: What's Cyclothymia and Compartmentalization (Taylor Swift Style)?
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Cyclothymia, compartmentalization, and Taylor Swift don't seem to have much in common. But they're sharing this episode of SelfWork! And both are in response to listeners' questions and comments! Cyclothymia is another one of those more unusual depression diagnoses (like we covered last week with PMDD) and one that doesn’t get much attention as its…
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397 SelfWork: What Is Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder or PMDD?
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What is Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder or or PMDD? We're going to focus today on what it is and what it's not, who suffers from it, how early can it emerge, why is it so misunderstood, misdiagnosed, or even ridiculed (which of course makes seeking treatment much harder). And, as always, what you can do about it. This episode is in response to a li…
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396 SelfWork: From Able-Bodied Mom to Disabled: A Conversation with Marjorie Aunos, Ph.D.
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Marjorie Aunos' story is not one you'll forget. In one second, she went from being an able-bodied mom to a disabled one. As a clinical psychologist, Marjorie developed the first program offering support for families headed by parents with intellectual disabilities in the province of Quebec, Canada. She fought for parents with intellectual disabilit…
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395 SelfWork: Why Don't You Talk About Your Struggle with Depression?
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Why don't you talk about your struggle with depression? You may have lots of reasons, or excuses, or justifications. But I found out by reading the responses on (what I'm honored to say) is a viral TEDx talk, "How to recognize perfectly hidden depression", that so many of us need to know that this struggle is common - and doesn't have to be hidden.…
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394 SelfWork: Do You Feel Guilty For Not Doing Enough? Nine Helpful Reminders
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Do you feel guilty for not doing enough? Many people do... the problem is known as productivity guilt. But as always, there's something you can do about it. Today on SelfWork Dr. Margaret offers nine helpful reminders that can guide you away from this guilt, so that you can stay on task and realize your goals. Here they are: One: Attaining goals is…
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393 SelfWork: How To Manifest Your Goals: A Conversation with Neurosurgeon Dr. James Doty
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Manifestation has been widely dismissed as self-involved, materialistic phooey. Now, James R. Doty, MD—a Stanford neurosurgeon, New York Times bestselling author, and Dalai Lama collaborator—reveals that manifestation is rooted in science. Throughout his latest book, Mind Magic. Dr. Doty unveils his six-part plan for harnessing your mind’s power to…
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392 SelfWork: The Interweaving of Depression and Knowing You Matter
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We'll talk today about the interweaving of depression and knowing you matter (or mattering). In my FB group, someone asked the question, "Do you ever wish you were more important to someone than you are? Like, I know I’m important to some people but there are others where I feel like they are more important to me than the other way around and I fee…
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391 SelfWork: Life With Bipolar Disorder: A Conversation with Gabe Howard
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Suicide is discussed in this episode. Here is the link to the suicide prevention text hotline. "My bipolar disorder almost killed me." These are the words of Gabe Howard as he talked about his life with bipolar disorder. He's also an award-winning podcast host, author, and sought-after speaker. And he's someone that so many admire for his openness …
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390 SelfWork: Loneliness, Empathy, and The Power of Eight Minutes
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The Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has stated that there is an epidemic of loneliness in the United States and the World Health Organization has declared it as a pressing global health threat, with a mortality effect equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. In this episode, we’ll talk about loneliness, how simple acts of empathy can be vital to hea…
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389 SelfWork: Are You or Someone You Love An HSP (Highly Sensitive Person)?
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This week we're focusing on all of you who might see yourself or someone you love as being a HSP - or highly sensitive person. Given that 15 to 20% of the population is thought to “have” it – and I say that in quotes because it’s not something you have, it's something you are - it’s not an illness or a problem. It’s a personality trait. It characte…
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388 SelfWork: When Your Child Is An Addict: A Conversation with Ken Guidroz, Author of Letters To My Son In Prison
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What do you do when your child is an addict? My guest on SelfWork this week is Ken Guidroz, author of Letters To My Son In Prison. He's a husband, father of three sons, a grandfather, and an ex-pastor. All three sons had struggles with drugs. But his middle son? For years, Lucas was a heroin addict. And he accidentally killed a man while driving hi…
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387 SelfWork: Six Misconceptions That Keep Couples Away from Therapy
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This week we’re going to be talking about couples therapy – and what misconceptions keep couples away from trying it. I can’t tell you how wonderful it is when a couple comes in WAY before there’s a crisis. But most don't. And these misconceptions are often the culprit; these six misconceptions keep couples out of therapy which also acts to help th…
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386 SelfWork: How Not To Say The Wrong Thing at The Wrong Time
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From getting through divorce to illness to death, your life can be turned on a dime in a seeming second. And you need your friends and loved ones to understand that you’re grieving, and need comfort. But that's not always what you get. Sometimes, they say the wrong thing and at the wrong time. Maybe it’s laughable. Maybe it’s not. But often, either…
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385 SelfWork: Answering Your Questions About Therapy
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Today’s SelfWork was inspired by feedback from members of my FB group when I asked for potential topics - and they suggested Answering Your Questions About Therapy. So.. what were the questions? 1) How to be real with your therapist about what’s not working... 2) Why do I want to feel that my therapist likes me? 3) How do I handle the fear that I’m…
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384 SelfWork: Trying Out Hypnosis: A Conversation with Dr. David Spiegel, Creator of Reveri
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Today, SelfWork is featuring Stanford psychiatrist Dr. David Spiegel, one of the world’s most respected and published experts in the field of hypnosis. And if you think hypnosis is some magic trick, you don't know what true hypnosis is. What’s often relegated as a sideshow is actually the oldest form of Western psychotherapy and a powerful evidence…
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383 SelfWork: How to Listen To, Learn From, and Work With Panic
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Last week SelfWork focused on what fear has to teach you – what it may lead you to think, feel, or experience. And this week, I want to talk about panic, panic disorder, and how you can listen to, learn from, and work with panic. If you’ve listened to SelfWork for a while now, you probably know that I experienced my first panic attack when I was in…
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I remember my dad telling me that the main thing he feared in life was to have a heart attack when he was still young. His dad had had that happen and it killed him when my father was only a teenager. My dad, when I was 16, had a heart attack. It didn’t kill him but I so remember the look in his eyes, one of acceptance but also one of demoralizatio…
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381 SelfWork: How to Talk About Your Depression
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I was honored to offer a TEDx talk this past year in Boca Raton, Florida. It's entitled "How to recognize perfectly hidden depression," and in it, I describe clients I've seen who'd never have seemed depressed to anyone around them. Two in particular are featured: one tried to take her life; the other came in well before that happened, but admitted…
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380 SelfWork: How to Get to Forgiveness - Through Anger and Empathy
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I’ve stayed away from the topic of forgiveness here on SelfWork. Why? Because the word itself means very different things to different people – especially due to your culture or religious belief. But this week, I received an email from a listener that was so poignant AND was about forgiveness, that I’ve decided to talk about it, I've learned that t…
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379 SelfWork: What's the Better Way of Saying "My Feelings Are Hurt"?
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“My feelings were hurt” is a phrase very commonly used. We even use it when we talk to our children. “Did someone hurt your feelings?” It’s kind of interesting when you think about it. Instead of asking, “What happened and how are you feeling about it?” and helping your child sort out their exact feelings, we lump them all together. Many of us carr…
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378 SelfWork: Tina Turner Takes A Seat: How to Accept Change In Your Family
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I’ve pulled what is the most downloaded episode of SelfWork’s history today because I've had to step off the stage again in my work to allow my body and mind to heal. Two weeks ago, I was in a huge hurry, bounding down my staircase, talking to my husband over my shoulder, in my clumsy Uggs boots – and I managed to pull off a head over heels tumble …
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377 SelfWork: Recognizing When Worry and "What If" Questions Paralyze You
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So many of us are living "what if" lives, meaning that we're not looking at the present and for opportunities that might be right in front of us. Instead we're worrying about the "what ifs" or "what if nots" of the world. And that can keep you in a constant state a perpetual indecisiveness. Of course, foggy thinking is a part of depression and worr…
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376 SelfWork: Three Unexpected Facets of Grief
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Norman Lear is someone whose work, talent, and creativity I’ve admired for a long time. I've used an interview that he gave before he died as my inspiration for this episode, when he said about his own mortality, "It's not the going... it's the leaving that's hard." So today on SW, we’re going to focus on endings and grieving and three facets of gr…
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