Once upon a time on Long Walks and Robots... The robots break down the performances of a couple of Philip K. Dickheads in "A Scanner Darkly." Two questions. How are they eating through those hoods, and are those cartoon boobs? Then Shane Clifton Colins Jr'd Ryan. Huh? They watched "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood." Ohhhh... he Clifton Colins Jr'd him…

This Week on Long Walks and Robots... Ahh Mr. Black, you fail to disappoint once again. The bots get all oily in the lug nuts over the lost Lethal Weapon storyline known as "The Last Boyscout." Yippee ki..... what's that? Oh! That's not the movie? Wait... really? Ok, if you say so. Well, not to be outdone by the bullets, tits, and guns; Gandolfini …

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Maniac! The bots get uncomfortable watching a dark slasher through the enormous eyes of everyone's favorite hobbit, Elijah Wood. Then Ryan and Shane transition to the lighter side of stalking via Chevy Chase and Christie Brinkley on the road to Walley World. We takin a Vacation y'all! And yeah, that's how you s…

This Week on Long Walks and Robots... Nicolas Cage!! That's right, the prodigal bot has returned to intrigue and delight us once again. "Pig" becomes the next entry in an ever-engaging library of films in a kaleidoscopic career. Speaking of bots, Peter Sarsgaard voices a delightful one opposite Frank Langella in "Robot & Frank." Apparently, Susan S…

This week on Long Walks and Robots… The would be greatest comic book title of all time is actually the names of this week’s movies. A true divide of the cinematic spectrum; from blockbuster event to an indie darling. The Suicide Squad is dripping with style and James Gunn-ie goodness. While Captain Fantastic leans more to the existential exploratio…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Turns out the bots wanted to jam, so they went and slammed. That's right, Space Jammed! Ryan and Shane visit memory lane as they revisit the original Space Jam on their way to "a new legacy." After the 2 hour Warner Bros. propaganda film, the boys stayed glued to that HBO Max for the recently uncancelled, The H…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... On their way back to the present our Robots made a little pit stop in the birthplace of modern-day action, the 80's. Ryan and not that Shane Black gush over the golden age of that Shane Black. They break down not just one Lethal Weapon, but two! Well, Lethal Weapon 2. Although they do talk about the first Letha…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... It's a Marvel packed episode. We delve deep into what, why and how Black Widow should matter to anyone at this point. Also we are pretty sure Task Master is a man, even though he is a she? Floating bases in the sky and all the other nonsense packed in. Plus Shane tells us about how he is colorblind and had a jo…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Time travel? Really? Again??? Why yes!! Tired of preparing for the future? Ready to jump headfirst into an insurmountable task with zero knowledge of the challenges or pitfalls? Then Uncle Sam's great-great-grandson could use your help, in the Tomorrow War. Pushing past those pesky paradoxes, the boys roll up t…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Lightning strikes as Ryan finally bestowed a true visual gift unto Shane by way of Bad Trip. Unfortunately, the moment is soured by the lament of Michael Bay's latest pyrotechnic plot device, 6 Underground. What lacks in its narrative substance is almost saved by, adrenochrome dream, Ryan Reynolds in a true to …

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Theoretical physics, no script, no problem! Ryan finds "the fun of movie" in Coherence. Big fan of one location for all your movies? Great!! The second film of this week won't miss the mark, well, they do, but the parallel doesn't... Free Fire. That's the second movie. Moving on. Time is moving quickly, can you…

This Week on Long Walks and Robots... The boys saddle up and head for the inner-city to become a Concrete Cowboy. Regretful of the journey into mediocre adolescent angst, the Robots yearn for a way to undo the past... wait, what's this lever do? Saved by The Time Machine, they travel back to the past via the future of film past or.... you get it. I…

This Week on Long Walks and Robots... The boys get the best of both worlds, brains, and brawn! They break down the fantastical 80's Val Kilmer classic, Real Genius. Arnold who? Matilda Lutz says hold my White Claw, as she becomes the nouveau killing machine seeking revenge... in Revenge. If you think Val's lack of sideburns is creepy, you should me…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Look! Up in the sky? It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a big gorilla wolf muthaf#&@a!? The boys watch unsupervised teens shank alien wolf spores in Attack the Block! Also, what would How Stella Got Her Groove Back be like with karate? According to Ryan, it's the movie The Paper Tigers. The bots get a dose of 90's…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Shane tries to find the heart missing from modern-day cinema by contracting Tin Cup. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be music to Ryan's ears. Also, the movie thread conspiracy grows with the reveal of another appearance of Hiroyuki Sanada. The boys look to see if Snyder can resurrect his relevance with his Ar…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Have no fear! The white savior is here! That's right, the boys breakdown Hardball, the classic Keanu Reeves vehicle. On their way back from memory lane, they also take a pit stop in 2010 to visit the A-Team. Bradley Cooper and apex Liam Neeson show how to deliver a classic blockbuster throwback. Then the Robots…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... If you thought the updates to Call of Duty were lackluster, you should see Without Remorse. Lucky for the boys, they also got to revisit the Michael Jai White passion project Black Dynamite. When ya pop the top, the panties drop! While the boys wait for the Outlaw Johhny Black to finally premiere, they see if J…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the Christian on a cameraman. The boys watch the Norwegian found footage film, Troll Hunter. They also pay homage to the late great Bob Hoskins on the anniversary of his passing with the cinematic martial arts of Unleashed. Sweet, sweet is good! With the airing of the last episode of Invi…

This Week on Long Walks and Robots... MORTAL KOMBAT!! The boys revisit the 90's iterations of Mortal Kombat as well as the 2021 reboot of the franchise. While the new MK model displays flawless effects of modern-day cinema, does it lack a certain charm held by the old guard? I mean, they're definitely missing one thing, Talisa Soto. Shane, we get i…

This Week on Long Walks and Robots... It appears as though Ryan's dementia is steadily progressing. Between his strokes and Shane's burps, the show is devolving quickly. Good thing you don't need many dendrites to tell dick and fart jokes. As for the movies, we travel back to feudal Japan for some cool hair cuts, tons of exposition, and of course b…

This Week on Long Walks and Robots... Shane pays respects to the late great DMX. How? By barking of course! The boys are in full alignment this week as they break down the cinemagraphical masterpiece that is "1917." Shane begins to unravel what appears to be a film conspiracy as the actor overlap through the film suggestions tips past coincidence. …

Welcome back to Long Walks and Robots Ryan makes his long awaited return after his internet finally got turned back on. Unfortunately AJ was unable to rejoin the podcast so things are basically back to normal. The robots play a little catch up and wonder why we pay so much for digital "rentals". Shane attempts to get 10 second reviews from Ryan on …

This week on Long Walks and Robots... We're still waiting on the stoop for Ryan to get back from the store. In the meantime, we're watching movies. The boys pass the time with Rising Sun, a bit of 90's nostalgia in the form of Asian stereotypes. Then we embrace our new latch key vibes with Justin Timberlake via Apple TV's Palmer. Well since Dad's s…

This Week on Long Walks and Robots... Shane and AJ break down the Snyder Cut! It's in 4:3 aspect, it's 4 hours long, and apparently, there's no editor. If he shot it, you see it. They discuss the pros and cons of this unprecedented undertaking that may have saved the DCEU. Marvel is back baby! The Falcon and the Winter Soldier actually make you car…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Love is in the air, so long as that air is 100 feet from a school. Shane and AJ breakdown another triple feature this week. The full spectrum of feels is felt by our substitute Robot. The action of Boss Level fulfilled the fun, The Time Traveler's Wife brought the tears, and Dora and the Lost City of Gold deliv…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... With Ryan adrift in the internetless beyond, Shane must sally forth accompanied by his substitute robot. While Ryan churns butter, they pass the time with an interesting triple feature by way of Game Night, Sunshine, and Grosse Point Blank. With the advantage of binging, AJ is left rather delighted by Marvel's …

This week on Long Walks and Robots... The boys are back! And now with more diversity! Now it’s two and a half white guys! Our robots are left bewildered after experiencing Tenet. Though the stars have finally aligned, Shane has pleased his robot brother with the BDE of Harry Potter himself by way of Horns. Later, AJ, our new substitute Robot, valid…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Well, nothing. Unfortunately, Ryan's Fortress of Solitude has become even more remote with the loss of interweb connectivity. While the boy grew to a man, his internet development stayed a bit prepubescent. Our poor robot has been surviving off DSL. This Thursday however will provide a blast into the future wit…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Love is in the air, and in the multi bunk gen pop detention center. The boys find love after lock up in the form of Shot Caller. They also rekindle their affection for the bay with Always Be My Maybe. Pokémon cards, comic books, and rom coms? Is Shane the real 40 year old virgin?? WandaVision continues to perpl…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Lazer and Snowfall suit up! Battle lines are drawn as the boys wage war for dick and fart joke supremacy. Who will emerge the victor? Psycho Gorman? MacGruber? Or perhaps, Sebastian? What we do know is that Rick sounds like a swell fellow. WandaVision may be a bit of a snooze, but thank heavens for LoveCraft Co…

This week on Long Walks and Robots.... Technical hiccups throw the robots off their game but eventually they get back into it by discussing the 1987 classic Robocop with everyone's favorite TV dad Red Forman. They then get into the directorial debut for Rian Johnson, Brick from 2005. A noir style film about young kids who act like they are super ol…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Why watch one movie when you can watch 3? This is Shane's recommendation as he breaks down the Cloverfield Trilogy. While Shane deals with multi world dilemmas, Ryan makes light work of the early days of quarantine via HBO's Locked Down. While the ominous landscape of Westview is still ambiguous, hindsight has …

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Ryan may have slept on Sleepers but in hindsight wishes he'd slept in. While Shane liked Vice so much he became a Bush apologist. Meanwhile in Westview, all is quiet in the Maximoff residence, although there seems to be a domestic disturbance in the Robot house. The slow pace of WandaVision's inaugural episodes…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... A thousand apologies for the optical scorching placed upon thee. The boys lament over the visual assault known as Tokyo Gore Police and Archenemy. Ryan and Shane Netflix and chill as they expose their queues to each other. I think Shane likes Cobra Kai, like more than a friend. Apparently Ryan finds the potty h…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... The aforementioned titular legend deserves some respek on his name. The boys ponder the underwhelming love for Wicket himself. Movies.... yeah, they talk movies. I mean, it's a movie club. Not that Shane Black watched "the" Shane Black's Mystery/Noir from 2005, "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang." Ryan overcomes his unexplai…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Shane defeats racism through the power of song as an animated ghost in a rock opera that took place entirely in his unconscious mind. Dreams, am I right? Ryan and Shane also add a third "Fatman" to the Santa-Verse, then breakdown the new-ish animated classic Klaus. Later, the boys unwrap the many gifts left und…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... It's bring your girlfriend to work day! We are graced by the presence of Lucia the Sex Ghost. She helps Shane and Ryan breakdown Christmas Chronicles 2 with her extensive knowledge of German Christmas lore. They also explore the twisted fairytale horseshit known as Krampus. Mando talk? But of course! Ryan enjoy…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Ryan and Shane coalesce to grieve the time lost while watching the Jiu Jitsu aka Ninja Alien Killers. 2020's newest hot mess "starring" Nic Cage and Tony Jaa. We also delve into the source material, steeped in sardonic humor, that birthed this cinematic exhibition into existence. After fully exhausting the expe…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Ryan and Shane talk Turkey, literally. Ryan also informs us of his rap beef with Young Thug over the honor of André 3000. Also movies, of course. This week is a triple feature! Ménage!! Ryan kicks of the holiday season with the new Musical/Fantasy fresh from Netflix; Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey. Shane ha…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Shane is soured by the revelation that Ryan delivered the plush token of his affection into the jaws of Appa, yip yip. The boys also discuss their lingering intolerance of lactose and the many signs of Shane's sociopathy. Obviously there's movie talk . Knock Knock, who's there? The 2015 Horror/Thriller "Knock K…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Shane and Ryan finally reunite for an intimate recording on the couch. Live and in person! That's right, the boys crack a couple of cold ones as they break down their recommendations from last week. Ryan journeys through the woods as he takes in the delightful "Hunt for the Wilderpeople," Taika Waititi's Advent…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Ryan regales us with his violation as some cyber punk assumes his Playstation identity. Is there a deeper conspiracy at play?? Is this $1071 back for revenge? Who knows. What we do know is that Ryan was unable to fulfill his mission again. Ahh streaming, you fickle mistress. So strap in cause Shane pulls double…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... An act of God, or rather convoluted digital film licensing, prevents Ryan from completing his mission of watching Lexi Alexander's 2005 Crime/Drama "Green Street Hooligans." Never fear though as Shane swoops in with an in depth recap of The Fountain, the 2006 Romance/Sci-Fi birthed from the esoteric brain of Da…

This week on Long Walks and Robots... Ryan muses on the 2016 Action/Horror from Korea, "Train to Busan." Shane was tasked with the very Halloween themed "Trick 'r' Treat," Michael Dougherty's Horror/Comedy from 2007. Shane uncovers the origin of Dexter's antagonist Travis Marshall, while Ryan has more warm feelings towards another beloved franchise…

Happy Halloween friends, Last year I saw a post form a person named Keaton Patti, who made a bot watch 1000 hours of horror movies, then made it write it’s own horror movie. The first page of the script was posted online. I thought it was hilarious and I thought it would sound funny in audio form. Head on over to my website to read the script. I wo…

This week on Long Walks and Robots, Halloween! Yes, that lovely time is upon us; jack o lanterns, scary movies, and the opinions of white guys, Spooky! Ryan watched the 2008 David Mamet Action/Drama "Redbelt," while Shane took in the 2017 Action/Thriller starring Charlize Theron, "Atomic Blonde." Ryan also shares his unique opinions regarding Star …

In episode 6 we talk about our recommendations from last week. Ryan watched the 2004 Action/Horror straight outta Russia, "Nightwatch", while Shane partook in the well aged Adventure/Thriller from 1997, "The Edge." This episode also has hints of Avatar prison workouts, where to buy your PS5, and questionable parenting practices. We also discuss a b…

Late upload this week as we had a few technical difficulties. But here we are a day late and a hooker short...This episode of the podcast not brought to you by Apple!! We contemplate Only Fans and break down our movie suggestions from episode 4. Ryan watched the Paul Dano and Daniel Radcliffe (yes Mr. Potter again) driven 2016 Adventure/Comedy "Swi…

In episode 3, we discuss our movies tasked from episode 2. First, the Horror/Slasher "classic" "Sleepaway Camp", "starring" Mike Kellin. Second, we dive into the 2019 Action/Comedy "Guns Akimbo" starring Daniel Radcliffe, written and directed by Jason Lei Howden. Shane takes us down a COVID induced Shia LaBeouf hole, with interesting views on David…

Episode 4 opens with Ryan's spam spy attack followed by our breakdowns of last episode's tasked movies. Shane watched Jason Lei Howden's Comedy/Horror from 2015, "Deathgasm." While Ryan had the distinct pleasure of watching Kevin Smith's, "Tusk" from 2014, starring Justin Long and Michael Parks. We also begin our journey into Korra, and praise Odin…