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How To Always Feel Good Enough
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How To Always Feel Good Enough
for love, money and happiness
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Have you ever had one of those weeks? You know, those weeks you didn’t get invited to the party everyone else was invited to, you never got a call back from the job interview that you thought went well and your toes are waaaaaay too many weeks overdue for a pedicure. Yeah. Those weeks.
During days like these, you might wonder “What the hell is wrong with me? Am I really that much of a loser? Why doesn’t anyone notice me?”. Those are the weeks you feel extra fat, extra poor and extra hot mess-ish. Don’t worry, we all have them. This week, I’m here to remind you that it’s not you.
How To Always Feel Good Enough
Before I get into this, it’s important that you’re clear on what you want to be “good enough” for. Is it love? Money? A new silk pajama set? What does “good” represent in your life? It usually has to deal with wanting to be respected, desired and fulfilled. I suggest writing down what “good” looks like to you. Here, I’ll get you started.
What you’re already good enough for:
- A good night’s sleep
- Not grabbing your phone the second you wake up
- Home cooked meals (with no distractions)
- A full body massage (yes)
- A piece of some amazing dark chocolate
- One hour of horrible mind-numbing television (just an hour!)
- One hour with a book that blows you away
K. Keep going….
Don’t Associate Other People’s Opinions With Your Worth.
Okay. If you are doing this, this is a big mistake. Your worth is not a varying thing. Think of it more as a big, solid boulder. It doesn’t move. It doesn’t get bigger or smaller. It just sits there, solid as a rock, being still and worthy. You are a human being with needs. You are worthy of having them met. What other people think about your needs does not impact the sturdiness of this boulder.
Picture some one sharing their stupid opinions about you to the boulder. The boulder won’t do anything. It just sits there. The problem is you didn’t know about this boulder and you were thinking the opinions determined your worth. Then you tried to grab on to these words and add them up to decide how worthy you really are. For some reason this seems like the right thing to do but it actually drives you crazy and doesn’t help you live a happy life. 
Always remember the boulder. Look, as long as you are trying your best and being a decent person, you’re fine. People love judging. You love judging. We all love judging. Accept this and allow yourself to feel peace even though people judge.
Take Boundaries Seriously (It’s Fun!)
Keep in mind when I mention “people” above, you are include in that as well. If anything, you’re the main factor in all of this. You are the gatekeeper and so far you’ve been letting too much BS come inside the gate (yeah, I said it). Be mindful of how you let people treat you. What are you putting up with that you know you should not be putting up with? How many times are you letting people slide? Play time is over. You’re heart is not a jumpy house. Tell people to respect you and if they don’t, decide to respect yourself and stop talking to them.
Standards + boundaries are your best friend when it comes to living a happy and meaningful life. People who are miserable have horribly low standards on how they treat themselves and how they let other people treat them. And hey, sometimes it’s not always entirely their own fault. Many of us have been dealt a bad hand (abusive parents, drug problems, abandonment issues etc.) We all want the same thing (love and happiness) but some people never got a chance to see how to acquire these things in a healthy way that doesn’t hurt anyone else. So they use what they know. It’s not up to you to fix them. You’re enough of a hand full already, no?
Set some boundaries. Think of some boundaries you can set right now and plan on executing them this week.
Stop Disassociating Yourself
M. L. Boren said these great words…
“You should have education enough so that you won’t have to look up to people and then more education so that you will be wise enough not to look down on people.”
I get sick when I see how much our culture idolizes other people. Sure. I’m inspired by Beyonce just as much as any other person but I don’t want to be her. That’s just weird and and a waste of my time. She can’t smile for me, or think for me or feel for me. I was blessed with my own mouth and brain and body and I will use it. I’m happy for her and I’m happy for me too.
Nobody is more worthy to love life or be happy. That is something we luckily all get to take part in. The freaky part is that the majority of the people our culture looks up to as pinnacles of “success” are usually clinically depressed, addicted to drugs and are miserably lonely. We want to be like them. They want to be like us. Remember, the quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. Not how many likes, texts or shoes you have (come on, you should know this).
There is a small and fast “I could never be her/him” we tell ourselves when we see some one who is richer or more attractive than us. We don’t realize that automatic slip up is what keeps us not feeling “good enough”. It’s a clear disassociation. We determine there are people like that and then there are people like us. But when are you going to get to a point where you can look at people like that and know you could be just as happy as you think they are? How much of your life do you want to wish you were someone else? Have fun being yourself. I promise it’s much more fun.
Meet Up To Your Own Standards
If you always want to feel good enough then start being good enough! This means, try your best, always. In your work, in your relationships, with your health, try your best. You won’t be so hard on yourself when you know deep in your heart you know you’re giving everything you’ve got. You won’t be as offended by other people because you’ll feel good knowing you did everything you could on your end to make things positive. You get to throw your hands up and say “Well, I tried!”.
If you know you handled a heated situation as maturely as possible, you get to walk away in peace. If you did your best to eat healthy today, you get to walk away with peace. If you put 100% into your work, you can walk away with peace. Walking away with peace is one of the best parts of being alive. 
If you’d enjoyed this you’ll LOVE my free ten-part audio course “The Art Of Enjoying Time”! A free guide on how to savor life, enjoy the little things and do it all with grace!
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