How Healing Your Trauma Leads You to Your Purpose
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Welcome to Bella's Guidance. I am your host, Auntie Bella, a psychic shaman, spiritual guide, a mentor, as well as your favorite holistic healer. With your permission, I'd love to guide and steer and propel you, the chosen few, along your spiritual journey and many awakenings by sharing ways to heal mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally—all while realizing it's okay not to be perfect. You weren't created to be perfect, love; you were created to be the best version of you.
That being said, let's get into today's message. The title of today's message is "How Healing Your Trauma Leads You to Your Purpose." So, there are a few questions I'm going to ask you all today. These are questions you can write down and answer in your leisure. But these are those questions that you ask yourself when you have some alone time. Be 100 with yourself about those answers because these will help you get into those wounds as necessary.
My first question for you today is: Where has your spiritual journey led you? The title is "How Healing Your Trauma Leads You to Your Purpose." But the question is, where has your spiritual journey led you? I'm going to share a little bit about myself today, just to give you some insight into where my experience, my healing, my trauma, and my purpose have led me on my spiritual journey.
My journey has led me on a path of self-discovery. In my childhood, I was taught I just wasn't good enough. I was surrounded by people that were intimidated by how big my energy was. I'm a Leo at heart. So, you see this big, bright star, and I'm not saying it to brag, but we know that our fire signs are leaders. That is what I was sent here to do—lead. This caused the wounds in my family to stir up. In my childhood, I was taught I wasn't good enough or I was only there to serve others. But on my journey, I was led to realize, this is not your story, sweetheart. Your energy is big. It's bright. You show compassion. You're kind. You're gentle. You're powerful. And the journey continued as I grew and evolved.
My journey continued to show me that I'm a powerful spiritual being. I'm an alpha female. This was intimidating to the people around me—my friends, my family, my lovers. These people were just not as healed as they were meant to be. But it was supposed to be that way for me to learn my lessons. I had to learn some things about myself. So, I was colliding with people that weren't ready to accept me for who I was. My awakening guided me back to my inner power and my peace.
My next question is: What trauma did you endure as a child that was triggered as an adult? I'll give you another example about me. I had a huge abandonment trauma wound. I was abandoned by my mother and my father. But I was also abandoned by everyone I trusted or who was supposed to protect me. We know on a chosen one's journey, they experience a lot of rejection and abandonment because they're sent as that little yellow person. You shine really bright. This is triggering to people that have not healed. Whenever I triggered my family, my friends, my ex-lovers' wounds, they rejected me.
They would sit in the energy, then the energy would become uncomfortable because they were unhealed, and then rejection would occur. I was not ready for the rejection because I had already experienced it from my parents. So when I experienced it from my lovers or my friends, it would hurt. I would try to hold on to things I did not need because I was clawing at "Don't leave me. Don't abandon me like my family did. Don't abandon me like my mother. Don't abandon me like my father." But I had to heal that wound on my journey in order to see I only need me. I have a support system in the spirit realm that is perfectly capable of taking care of me while I grow, heal, and evolve. I was taught I needed others to thrive. That was not my story.
My story is that I'm independent. I'm self-sufficient. I'm powerful. I'm healed. I'm healthy. I'm beautiful. I'm alpha. I'm all me. That's my story. The story that was embedded in me was not my truth. I had to shed all those layers and heal all those layers in order to realize that about myself. Now, this is what's being utilized for me to help you on your journey. Now that I'm in my power, now that I am healed and continuing to heal and grow, I can help you. If I didn't continue to heal, God would not be utilizing my gifts to help you at this time. I could have gotten stuck, and nobody would have benefited from me. I would not have benefited from me, my children, my husband, my spouse. The person that God is leading to me right now would not be able to benefit from all this unconditional love that I've found within myself. I would be continuing to remain stuck in someone else's story.
My trauma that was triggered as an adult is my abandonment wound that started when I was a child with my family and showed up in my connections with my friends and my lovers. I'll tell you how this affected me. Masculines who were non-committal and did not love themselves were attracted to and obsessed with my energy. I was attracting people that didn't love themselves because I was trying to figure out my own love journey. They were so obsessed they siphoned and drained my energy. They didn't love themselves, so they were like, "I'll just take hers. Her energy feels good; mine feels low, so I'm just going to steal hers." That is what I experienced until I realized this is not working for me. I need to go do some healing so that these people are not attractive to me anymore.
My father was the first masculine to abandon me in an attempt to flee my abusive mother, so I attracted men just like him. Do you see how that works? The wound will continue to show up until it's healed. You can run from it all you want, but it's going to show up in the next person and the next person until you heal. When you heal, your eyes are open. You go through an awakening. You're like, "I don't want this. This doesn't feel good to me. I was sitting in this because I'm comfortable here because it's what I'm used to, but it's not what I want." So that means I have to do something differently. What I haven't been doing is dealing with the reason that I think this is okay. It's not okay. So how am I going to stop doing this and stop allowing this? I'm going to heal. That's what I had to do.
I've healed that trauma, and now I know my worth. I realized my father was simply an unhealed masculine attempting to flee his childhood wounds and incapable of facing his fears in order to heal his wounds. I do understand that my energy was a threat to people who have mother wounds, specifically wounds around mothers who've abandoned their sons. My father's mother, my grandmother, hurt my father deeply, so him not choosing to heal caused him to hurt me. It caused him to not even like women or want to treat women with respect. He thought women were beneath him, so he treated me as such. My mother abandoned the thought of properly raising me due to my father being more concerned with everyone's well-being except hers. I experienced rejection from both of my parents, but in different ways. This caused a major trust wound that I had to heal so I would not become my mother or my father. I chose to show up for my children when they needed me, in whichever way I could, even when I had nothing to give them except love without conditions.
Now, I currently choose to love myself without condition and reject anyone who believes I am not good enough to receive the love I give freely and abundantly. I also trust that in due time, God will lead a masculine to me who understands how important this is and treats me as well as my children the way we deserve to be treated. I know this is a part of my destiny and journey because I've healed and done the work. Do not allow the way your parents raised you or the things that you've experienced to keep you stuck because you're going to block your abundance. You're going to prevent the trauma you experienced from helping you on your spiritual journey. You're going to allow the pain you experienced to keep you in a low vibration and keep you stuck in the past when you could be utilizing the pain to transform yourself, heal yourself, grow, and allow whatever you learn to help you teach and push others on their spiritual journey.
Whatever you experienced was not just meant for you to experience. You were meant to heal those wounds so that you can not only help yourself but also help the people around you. You have to understand it's bigger than you. It's always bigger than us. We are all working on the same journey and going in different directions, but we all have the same goal. My trauma led me to my purpose because I was willing to take the time to learn, understand the growth, pain, and lessons that were sent for me to learn. With each karmic cycle I closed, I was consistently reminded that I'm manifesting the life I've always wanted, and that life is now arriving—never late. My path was directed the way it was so it would arrive right on time. Nothing is a coincidence. Everything is happening the way it should. Your trauma leads you to your purpose each time you realize nothing is a coincidence and every step you're taking is leading you to the future God promised you that you would have.
I could have chosen to remain stuck in my trauma and prevent myself from having the life I've always wanted—the family, the business, the career. But I chose better. Because of that, I have evidence that everything God promised me is arriving, and I will never go without because I trusted Him to steer and guide me to my abundance. My question for you is: Will you allow your trauma to keep you stuck, or will you allow God to guide you to your abundance? We all operate in free will, so it's your decision. I simply hope that you realize everything you've experienced will be utilized to assist you in fulfilling your purpose.
I was afraid of my gifts because people bashed me about them. Now, I'm allowing God to use me to assist and guide you. I was afraid to trust God to send the right people to protect me from people who hurt me. Now, I have allies I was not initially aware of and a man who loves me more than any other man possibly could. I worried I wouldn't have the family I always wanted for my children. Now, I have evidence they will have everything they need—mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally—because of the work me and my lover chose to do to heal. I worried I wouldn't have a career that aligns with my purpose. There's a team of individuals excited to assist, collaborate, and spark change on a career path that literally sets my soul on fire. So, I challenge you to do the work and see where it takes you. I've gained a bit of intel on my journey, and the odds are in your favor. See where it leads you. You can only go up from here.
It's your girl Bella, keeping it 100 as always and sending you love and light on your journey. Until next time, talk soon. Bye.
11 episodes