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Handling Disagreements – Episode 195
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Handling Disagreements – Belk on Business – Episode 195
We put processes to many things in our lives from making meals, doing laundry, scheduling, workflows in our business, product or service development. Etc. and having a process for handling disagreements can be a process as well. Unlike many areas we do put a process, handling disagreements can be hyper-emotional as we tend to stray from foundational principles or even those “core values” we ascribe to. Those values can become aspirational and any time a core value is aspirational, our ability to be inspirational, or to make an impact, diminishes. Determine beforehand if the conversation falls in my purview and is there any merit in having the conversation.
Points to consider when handling disagreements:
1) Ask yourself: “Am I willing to sacrifice a relationship over being right?” What is preeminent, the relationship or my ego? Address the problem, the policy, the process without attacking the person.
2) Allow for a space of grace both for you and the person. Take time to develop a proper response or if a response is needed at all. Take the necessary to respond when necessary and not react out of emotion
3) Try to understand more deeply the situation and see the issue from the other person’s point of view
4) Find the merits in their point of view and be humble enough to admit when you’re wrong or lack the knowledge or understanding on the issue or their point of view
5) Ask good, clarifying questions to understand their point of view, not to corner them into your point of view. Try to restate their point of view in a manner that you both understand and ask if the restatement is accurate.
6) Beware of phrasing or using a tone that would make your opinion come across as fact. Use facts liberally and opinions scarcely.
7) Always be kind, even when being firm. Use of personal attacks or using condescending language generally comes from a place of either arrogance, insecurity or a lack of self-awareness
8) Lead with humility or humbly walk away. Finding common ground always requires humility, a willingness to listen, a wIllingness to compromise.
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