NRR 15 - Fist Fight Between Swans and Canadian Geese

Benny's Grab Bag

Hey what happened to all swans? I finally have an answer. This is Vox and you’re listening to Not Really Radio

As always, Tecumseh, I’m here to ask the tough questions that are on your mind. And I know, like myself, you’ve been wondering: What happened to all the swans?

First some context. As I'm sure many of you remember, it was just a couple weeks back a whole mess of swans, a bevy if you will, were making themselves comfortable on the Redmill pond.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’ll give you more on that story in a second, but I’ve just been handed a bulletin that is breaking and relevant to anyone who has bushes, shrubs or trees. A giant egg found near the intersection of Billmyer and Milwaukee Rd recently hatched, and a very large worm with glowing blue spots immediately started eating trees. Like whole trees, not just leaves. So watch out for that. Apparently a member of the FBCI asked what its intentions are regarding our fair city and the creature replied with: Braaaaak

If anyone out there speaks eldritch monster, please contact the FBCI as soon as possible as their last interpreter recently lost an argument with Godzilla and has been assumed retired.

Makes me wonder, what does a giant worm turn into? Maybe we’ll find out. If it doesn’t clear out our woodlands first.

Back to the swans. Turns out they heard rumors about the Canadian geese that regularly make Tecumseh their home. I’m sure you know what geese I’m talking about. If you spend time near any of the waterways in the area you’ve likely encountered them. Awfully aggressive for Canadians if you ask me. Of course, that’s assuming Canadians are real, buuut that’s another bit for another day.

Anyway, swans being the unnecessarily aggressive birds that they are, these aquatic interlopers showed up to challenge our canadian geese friends to a fist fight.

I won’t waste your time with the blow by blow details, mostly since I don’t have them. One witness described it as “imagine a flock of Bruce Lee put the hurt on a herd of Chuck Norris, only it’s on the water and they’re birds”. Sounds intense. I’m assuming the Geese were the Bruce Lees in this donnybrook, as you may have noticed, the swans have quietly taken their leave, but our Canadians are still here, swimming, eating, pooping and generally treating our town like… bad.

I for one am torn. My hometown bullies seem to have successfully fended off the white winged invaders, but I still don’t feel safe walking to the kayak rental by the community center.

Still, it makes me wonder, are these geese on our side? Or are they going to turn on us like we’re in a Stephen King novel?

Hopefully we’ll find out more at the Not Really Radio event on April 30th at 7pm at Covenant church right here in Tecumseh. Until next time, this is Vox, you’ve been listening to Not Really Radio.

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