#104 Adam Lane Smith - Is your attachment style ruining your relationships?

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Adam Lane Smith is a licensed psychotherapist working in the attachment, relationship, and transformative personal development space. In this episode, we talk about attachment theory, attachment styles, raising emotionally-well children, and how men know they found The One.

00:00:00 00:01:21 Introducing Adam
00:02:10 What is Attachment Theory and Attachment Styles?
00:04:29 Healthy Attachment in Families and Romantic Partners
00:08:50 Does Spanking Work?
00:18:33 Men With Working Mothers
00:23:19 Does Pressure Really Forge Diamonds?
00:28:25 Lost and Exhausted Parents and Unmet Needs
00:37:34 Novelty in Relationships and Conscious Sex
00:43:49 Outsourcing Orgasms, Chakras, and Kegels
00:48:36 Men in Fear and Fixing Attachments
00:54:31 Working on Personal Development
01:02:08 How Men Know It’s The One
01:03:34 Where to Find Adam

Attachment Theory and Attachment Styles

Attachment theory is the way that we learn to give and receive love with other human beings when we were a child. It is drawn from our experiences with our parents and our understanding of those experiences. If we don’t get our needs met, are not taken seriously, don’t feel safe opening up to other people, are afraid of asking for help, or trusting people because we got hurt, pushed away, ignored or saw that something always consistently went wrong, we learn that we have to play games to try to make other people either not abandon us make them do what we want them to do so we can live our life. This is also called avoidant style, which is avoiding intimate connections and being vulnerable because you don’t want to get hurt.

What Does Healthy Attachment Look Like?

Only 35% of adults have secure attachment and when it comes to healthy attachment between parents and their kids, it’s as simple as kids coming up to their dad and telling them what they want. A secure relationship is all about cooperation, context, listening, taking each other seriously, and getting to the root of their needs. No drama, just helping each other out.

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Meta-Description

Psychotherapist Adam Lane Smith talks about attachment theory and styles in families and romantic relationships.

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