#99 Alison Armstrong - The Queen's Code - Stop Emasculating Men

Chatting with Candice

Alison Armstrong is a well-known author, speaker, and educator specializing in personal and professional development, particularly in the realm of relationships. She is renowned for her insights into understanding and improving communication between men and women. Armstrong has written books and delivered workshops and seminars that aim to foster better understanding, empathy, and connection between the sexes. We talk about how her book “The Queen’s Code” has changed my life and my marriage, as well as her new learnings after she released her best-selling book.

00:00:00 00:02:21 Introducing Alison Armstrong
00:06:02 Emasculating Men
00:18:00 Single Focus VS Diffused Awareness
00:30:00 How to Spot a Queen
00:41:34 Sex and Masturbation For Men
00:50:43 Nesting and Crystalizing
00:55:31 Alison’s Advice
00:59:20 Where to Find Alison

How Are We Emasculating Men Without Realizing It?

“Why did you do that?”, “Why didn’t you do that?”; women often ask men this question when they get upset with them or when they don’t meet their expectations. But turns out, the root cause of why women ask these questions, and in turn emasculate men, is because of fear and frustration. Women get frustrated with men because of how they can’t get what they need from them, coupled with the fear of how big and strong they are, none of which men really understand very well. Some combination of fear and frustration will cause women to diminish men, and even when women don’t know how much it diminishes them, they still try to change their behavior by criticizing them. It’s this critical edge calling them to account, and women do precisely that because women don’t know how to change men and would rather change them the way they would change a woman.

Being Single Focused VS Having Diffused Awareness

On two opposite ends of the spectrum we have people who are single focused and people who have diffused awareness. People who are single focused and are on the autism spectrum make for perfect TSA agents, while people with diffused awareness make for great hunters and gatherers with their increased survival skills and ability to scan the area thoroughly. So many women are in hunting mode, for good reason, while men who are committed to a “get it done” state of mind, which causes us to admire them. However, a man in an open state of mind is when women fall in love with them. It's when men’s lack of a result to produce has been made available to connect, see, and notice women, and women need to be seen. When men share parts of themselves that they would never tell fellow hunters, this enables women to be even more attracted to men.

Links and Resources

Official website

Freedom From Being Ordinary - Live in L.A. (Oct. 27-29)

Meta-Description

Speaker, educator, and author of bestselling book “The Queen’s Code” Alison Armstrong bares her thoughts on men, women, and everything in between.

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