Ep:1 - Echoes of Self-Discovery: How 'Mirror' Guided My Path to Healing and Self-Love Through Music #musingswithrae

Crossing Bridges with Rae - The Podcast

Could the harmonies of a single song be the key to unlocking self-love and acceptance within you? That's the revelation I experienced through Lalah Hathaway's "Mirror," a musical masterpiece that kickstarted my journey to inner peace.

Join me as I recount the cathartic moment at a live concert in Atlanta, where the lyrics reached deep into my soul, urging me on a path of self-discovery. This episode isn't just about my story; it's an invitation to explore the healing power of music and how it may offer you the same solace and encouragement it gave me.

This is more than a conversation; it's an interactive exploration of how self-love can revolutionize our lives. From the importance of mirror work to the ripple effects of self-affection on our relationships, I share the profound changes that occurred when I embraced who I truly am. Discover how music can act as a catalyst in this transformation, and consider the messages that lie within the songs you hold dear.

As we share our experiences and the music that moves us, we build a community of growth and support—each of us on our unique path to healing, with music as our guide. Let's celebrate the power of music together, and may you find your message within the melodies that move us all.

Check out Mirror by Lalah H. right here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiT9lbw8rY4

Your journey matters and your voice will always be heard here, so be sure to share your thoughts, questions, and reflections with me on my interwebs.

Thank you for joining me for another episode as we cross this bridge together!

So much Love, Rae

Rae's Links...

koji.to/xoloverae

TRANSCRIPT:

00:15 - Rachel "Rae" Mindy (Host)

okay to the Wednesday edition. And addition to the Crossing Bridges with Rae podcast. Music Musings with Rae. So the song that I will be riffing and or ranting about today is Mirror by Lalah Hathaway. The song has so much meaning for me and has touched my soul since 2016. And I think what I'm going to do is tell you a story. I've told this story somewhere before, but this is the perfect place to share this story.

01:28

In 2016, I think I heard a couple of songs from this album and I was really excited to hear that Lalah Hathaway was coming to Atlanta. I believe I saw her, and don't get me to lie in, I'm sorry, I can't remember the names of the place, I digress, but it was a smaller venue. I love live music, I love music period, but I love, love, love live music, so we had great seats. I went with my significant other at the time, and so, first and foremost, in 2016, I was in the process of coming out of something that some would call a mental breakdown, maybe a year or so before, and I was very, very, very much disconnected from everything that I love, everything that I used to do, places that I used to go Like. I just was very, very disconnected. And so to music, I was very disconnected as well, and I had kind of come out of like a shell kind of. And so when I heard these songs on the radio as I was going to work, I was like, oh, I would love to see her. Because I had never seen Lalh Hathaway before, I had never had one of her albums before, I hadn't even bought it. But I love music and I really love people that can really and truly sing, and so when I heard that she was coming to Atlanta, I was excited, bought tickets, we're going. Ok, we're there. So I'm jamming to the music. Like live music just does something for people that really like it. It's almost like you don't even really have to know the song, the instruments, the singers, whatever is going on in the venue is just a vibe. So I'm listening to the songs, I'm jamming, we're having a great time, everything. And then the music comes on Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. I don't even know if I did that good or not, but anyway, please forgive me and the lights kind of sort of go down and she starts singing.

04:02

Bitter hearts don't hold a smile. Trouble minds will wear you down. Use your past to get it in. Hold your tears and think. Instead, you have to find a way to make it. These clouds are letting up for a while. Oh, so those words alone. Those are just the first lyrics of the song. Right, I'm done. I'm done for it.

04:41

I'm sitting next to my significant other and I am literally bawling as the song goes on. I mean I can go on and on with the lyrics, but as the song goes on, I mean from the deepest part of my insides, I'm letting out this just strongest cry, but at the same time trying to camouflage myself from him so he can't see that I'm literally having a breakdown. And I'm not really having a breakdown. I just feel each and every word of that song. Just think about that.

05:22

Bitter hearts don't hold a smile.

05:26

Trouble minds will wear you down.

05:28

That was me.

05:30

That was me.

05:32

Use your past to get ahead.

05:36

Hold your tears and think instead.

05:39

You have to find a way to make it.

05:43

These clouds are letting up for a while.

05:48

Sometimes you have to make the mirror your best friend. Maybe then you'll find some peace within. Stop hiding yourself. Stop hiding yourself. Love yourself when no one else can. Can I tell you that those words like I can't even describe it. Even now, those words hit me like a ton of bricks.

06:25

That's exactly how I felt, that's exactly what I have been saying to myself, and that song just pushed me into a totally different fire, for not just for God, but for understanding of myself, for loving myself, for just, yeah, it was just it for me. And so, you know, I did have a significant other and at the time, like I said, I was coming out of just a really deep funk. But I also was not happy, and I wasn't necessarily not happy with that with my significant other. I was unhappy with myself, and so therefore, I wasn't necessarily always happy in that relationship either. And I really just want to share this, because one music can be so healing. Two, music can really really like really speak to you in some of the deepest ways, and for me, that song was literally the catalyst to push me further and further, like to do whatever work that I needed to do so I could get to a place where I could find peace within and that I could stop hiding myself and love myself.

08:16

And I just really want to share this with you, because I know that anyone that is listening to any of my recordings, any of my messages or whatever, we go together, like we have something, we have a connection. So I'm not talking to everybody, right, but I am talking to somebody, and so I hadn't heard this song in a long time and it came up on my feed, on my Facebook feed and now sorry, not Facebook, excuse me on my YouTube feed, and I clicked on the video and I listened to the song and one of the first things that I noticed was how it affected me, but it didn't affect me the way that it used to affect me. In other words, it did not make me feel sad and I know that I've done the work. You know what I mean. Like, I think that at times and this is if you're a music person or if you're a music buff but at times when you listen to a song, a song can bring up all kinds of different emotions and feelings and stuff, and one of the ways that I'm always able to tell how I have moved through whatever process or whatever feelings it is that I have, is whether or not I can go back to that instance or that song or whatever and listen to it and feel like stronger or feel good about myself or whatever the case may be. And when I listen to that song, I just first of all let me just say this Lalah Hathaway's voice is like none other. It is amazing, it's extraordinary. Hearing her live was just like the best thing ever.

10:22

But that song, when it came on the other day, I was just like, oh, I love this song so much, but oh, I feel so much better about this song. You know what I mean. Like you made it over this hump of maybe not feeling good about yourself because that song was really specifically speaking to you and how you felt at the time. And when I heard it the other day, I just was so much more proud of myself for the work that I have done. The song still does brings here some of my sometimes, but nothing, nothing like when I was in that venue and sitting to my sitting next to my significant other literally balling. I don't know if he ever noticed me. I don't think that he did. And if he did, he didn't say anything. That's a whole other story for another day.

11:18

So I wanted to tell that story, because I really do want to go through the lyrics of this song, because I really want whoever is listening to me to understand that if you are in this place, you don't always have to be here. You don't always have to be here, but it is good to have enough self awareness to know that this is where you are. Because one thing that I can say about people, I'm not just talking to women, I'm talking to men too, because it's not like men don't have these same feelings, even though, you know, we don't kind of sort of talk about them like that, not always but men have these same feelings and can have the same reaction to a song as well. But yeah, I just feel like I, first and foremost, I feel like loving yourself is the ultimate, the absolute ultimate. And speaking from someone who did not always love herself, for vast reasons, for many reasons, when you love yourself, you have a posture and an awareness and a mindset that is like none other. It is not selfish, but it's also very loving. It's loving of yourself.

12:55

I find that because I love myself, I'm so much of a better person. I'm so much of a better mother, I'm so much of a better friend. I'm so much I'm just better. I'm just better because I am putting my best foot forward and I am presenting myself in the very best way because I love myself. You know, you hear people talking about boundaries and things of that nature, but when you have regard for yourself, I don't even know what word that I want to say. The reason why I love myself is because God loves me. The reason why I love myself is because I have really gone back to examine where that lack of love came from and I've walked through those instances and situations, whether it be childhood or whether it be high school or whether it be, you know, college, or whether it be in my 20s or my 30s, whatever, so that I can proudly, you know, really really stand in my confidence. It's such an amazing feeling because, if you are anything like me and have had to battle with that your entire life, because of things like your childhood or certain experiences that you had when you were much younger, or choices that you made because you did not love yourself, relationships that you have because you did not love yourself, it's becoming, you know, a people pleaser and allowing people to take from you and never give, and it's something like who it is that you really and truly are is such a gift. It's such a gift.

15:25

And this song when I heard it back in 2016, when I was just coming out of my cocoon, it was so much to me because it really showed me like where it is that I actually was. I personally feel like I was in that seat and in that venue for that exact reason. Not necessarily because I love Lila Hathaway or not necessarily because I wanted to hear her album, or not necessarily because I love my music. It was because I needed to hear that song at that moment so that there could be a shift in my life at that time. And that's really what happened. And I really didn't think about this until, really, these last couple of days. And then 16 was when I started the process of going through coaching and going through different courses and classes and just shifting the way that I did things and ceasing some of the things that I did do. And it took me a while, from 2016 to to work on that part. And then there was another level that I went into from 2019 to 2023.

16:56

Let's just say there has been another level of shifting and growing and healing that I have been doing, and so I don't want to ramble, I really just want to go back to the lyrics. I'm just going to read them and I just want you to listen to the lyrics and tell me how they make you feel. On my link inside of the description of this episode, there is a link at the bottom of well, not at the bottom, I'm sorry at the end of the description. That's called raised links. If you click on that link and you go to my Koji and it says leave me an audio message or a voice note or something like that, when you listen to this and it touches you or whatever it does for you, I want you to leave me a voice note there about this episode. Let me go through the lyrics.

18:10

So bitter hearts don't hold a smile. Trouble minds will wear you down. Use your past to get ahead. Hold your tears and think instead. You have to find a way to make it. These clouds are letting up for a while. Sometimes you have to make the mirror your best friend and maybe then you'll find some peace within. Stop hiding yourself. Stop hiding yourself. Love yourself when no one else can. Now you know the remedy. Tell yourself you will achieve. Just go on and brush your shoulders off. This bridge is one that you must cross. You have to find a way to make it. These clouds are letting up for a while. Sometimes you have to make the mirror your best friend and maybe then you'll find some peace within. Stop hiding yourself, stop hiding yourself. Love yourself when no one else can. If you love yourself, you don't need nobody else. No one can love you like you. If you look inside, you'll find your strength. You'll find where your strength resides. No one can love you like you. Sometimes you got to make the mirror your best friend and maybe then you'll find some peace within. Stop hiding yourself, stop hiding yourself. Love yourself when no one else can.

20:19

I am a proponent for first loving yourself before you can love anyone else, and that is only through trial, error, hurt, pain, betrayal and just learning about myself. And I personally believe and I tell, I especially tell young people to really, really really get to know themselves first and not be so anxious to bring you know these strange people in. You know, sometimes you're meeting people, you're going out with people, you're having sense with people and you really don't know these people. It is so, so, so important to get to know who you are, to value who you are, so that you can love, so that you can live your life accordingly, and not to say that you won't ever get hurt or your heart won't ever get broken. But I've learned over time that we should love ourselves the way that God loves us, and it's never too late to start loving yourself.

21:53

And the mirror always reminds me of who talks about mirror work. It's not Catherine Ponder, but it's someone that I follow. I cannot remember her name. This is crazy. I'm sorry, but mirror work is so important. I think Lisa Nichols was talking about mirror work at one time when I was watching one of her videos. I believe Oprah's talked about mirror work. There are a lot of different personal development and self-love gurus and things of that nature that have talked about mirror work and looking yourself in the mirror and telling yourself every morning that you love yourself, looking yourself in your own eyes and saying beautiful things to yourself every day and not only help you to start the process of loving yourself, but if you continue to do that, if you take time, even if it's five minutes or a minute in fact, to just look yourself in the eye every morning, to look at yourself period, whether you're, you know, unclothed or not, and start finding love in what you see back in the mirror. I think that's such a beautiful thing, it's such a healing thing, and I think it's something that we really all need to do and to embrace ourselves, loving ourselves like no one else can. Thank you so much for listening to me.

23:45

I hope I didn't ramble on too much, but I really wanted to share the words of the song with you, share my little story with you, and to implore you to maybe find some love that you can find in this song. Find a message or, yeah, find a message in this song. That's just for you if it touches you as well. You might not have ever heard this song before. You've never heard of Lalah Hathaway, but it's really.

24:22

For me, it has always been about the words to the song and how this song made me feel. I absolutely love this song and I absolutely love the experience that I had back in 2016. And so, yeah, I just wanted to share this with you. I swear to God. Thank you guys so much for just riding with me this Music Musings with Rae. I love music. I can think of so many good songs that I want to share with you. I don't know if they'll be as close to my heart, as this song is for the experience that I had at that venue in 2016. But, yeah, I look forward to sharing these stories and sharing my personal opinions about them with you. So thank you for being here, thank you for taking this journey with me and thank you for listening to Music Musings with Rae.

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