The Divine Divorce | Date Your Wife | EP 093

Date Your Wife

Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: Divine Divorce Leads to Divine Destiny

• There are times when couples are in the midst of great chaos and find themselves knocking on the door of divorce. Because of this, most couples concur that there comes a point in their relationship where they must choose all in…again.
• Garrett: Although we didn’t get a divorce, there was an emotional separation that took place. We were functionally disconnected, meaning, we were very good at being disconnected. There came a time when the inevitable moment of decision presented itself where we had to make a choice.

QUESTION

What has been your experience with knocking on the door of divorce?

Point #2: Am I With the Wrong Person?

• The IDEA of a relationship that is in continual bliss and always on fire is evident in the highlight reels that are plastered all over social media, giving others the impression of a fairytale happily-ever-after marriage. This is total bullshit.
• Garrett: There’s a moment of the Divine Divorce where you as a couple begin to drift but it’s actually setting up the next chapter of your relationship. Danielle: We kept looping back to the same arguments that never got solved, which had me wondering, “Am I with the wrong person?”

QUESTION

Is what you’re posting on social media a true reflection of the state of your marriage, or is it drenched in hopeful bliss and fantasy?

Point #3: It’s Just How It Is

• Garrett: The vast majority of couples that I meet and connect with inside Wake Up Warrior and BMS are operating in very minimal sexual connection, very minimal emotional and spiritual connection, and are surviving. But the challenge is, they don’t even know they’re surviving. The belief is, “This is just how it is.”
• If you surround yourself with people who have this belief, it’s not until something traumatic happens where it begins to expose how shitty things really are. In our marriage when the money disappeared, that is when the chaos of our marriage was exposed.

QUESTION

Where in your world do you have the belief of “it’s just how it is?”

Point #4: From Divorce to Divine Divorcement

• The reality of how people show up in marriage is quite alarming to Garrett. Inside of many relationships he is connected with, he has witnessed many couples where both people are out of shape, they don’t go out on dates, there is no seduction or flirting, and they are in the managing and survival mode. Then they get a divorce.
• “What blows my mind is the transformation that begins taking place AFTER the divorce, where they blossom into this entirely new person. Instead of having to get divorced, what if you could literally go through a Divine Divorcement?”

QUESTION

If on the verge of divorce, what would be possible inside your marriage if you considered the possibility of creating new patterns while remainging married?

Point #5: It’s a Choice

• Garrett: No matter how powerfully connected you feel to who you are and what you have, the next version of your relationship as a couple is impossibly held hostage by the current constraints of what you believe is possible today.
• No matter what state your marriage is in today, there’s another level calling you. And in order to get to that next level, there’s a Divine Divorcement upon you. Divine in the sense that God, through the gift of agency, is giving you an opportunity to choose.

QUESTION

What are some of the limiting beliefs that are holding your marraige hostage?

Communication Challenge:

How are you choosing to show up in your marriage? What are you choosing to divorce? Without the divorcement and without the decision to do it, nothing is going to change inside of your relationship.

Date Night Topic:

Have a conversation about the things that attracted you to each other in the beginning of your relationship. How those have evolved and changed over time? What are some things you can do now to create new chemistry and excitement inside your relationship?

Quote of the Week:

“There’s a new destiny on the other side of divorce. Divorce is simply choosing to do something different; it’s the laying down and putting aside of that which is old and not working, for something that is new and can work.”

—Garrett J White

“People underestimate the small consistencies daily that create a big win in life. Stay committed, be patient, and kick your husband in the ass every now and again if he needs it.”

—Danielle K White