Miriam Rachel on Deconstructing You - Breaking the Pathological People Pleaser in You

Deconstructing YOU

Miriam Rachel, hailing from Toronto, Canada, is a tarot reader, astrologer, and freelance writer. Overcoming years of pathological people-pleasing, she emerged as a vocal advocate against spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity. Miriam is passionate about showcasing tarot as a transformative tool beyond mere divination.

With the release of her debut book, "Overcoming Echoism With Tarot: Using Tarot For Boundary Setting And Stopping People-Pleasing," Miriam celebrates a year-long journey of writing and self-discovery. Delving into the concept of echoism, Miriam explores its origins, challenges, and the transformative power of tarot in breaking free from its grip. Her book offers valuable insights into navigating extreme people-pleasing behaviors and reclaiming autonomy through tarot's guidance.

Miriam's Journey: Awakening from Pathological People Pleasing

• For decades, Miriam lived under the spell of people-pleasing, seeking approval and acceptance at the cost of her own needs.

• The turning point came when caring for her special needs son pushed her to the brink of severe depression and self-neglect.

• Miriam made a pivotal decision to prioritize her well-being and place her son in a therapeutic setting, breaking societal expectations.

The Burden of Martyrdom in Motherhood

• Miriam challenges the societal expectation that mothers should sacrificially cater to their children, emphasizing the importance of balance.

• She points out the detrimental effects of deinstitutionalization in cases where families may not be equipped to care for individuals with complex needs.

Childhood Micro Events: Seeds of People Pleasing

• Miriam traces her people-pleasing tendencies to childhood, where unfair expectations and bullying fueled a pattern of seeking approval.

• Childhood experiences of being overweight, socially awkward, and bullied contributed to the development of CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder).

Balancing Generosity and Martyrdom

• Miriam distinguishes between genuine generosity and unhealthy martyrdom, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries.

• Unhealthy patterns of people-pleasing lead to internal feelings of resentment, anger, and even hate, signaling unmet personal needs.

The Unraveling Journey to Self-Discovery

• Miriam's post-son placement period involved a significant focus on self-care, including addressing health issues like sleep apnea and obesity.

• The unraveling journey to self-discovery didn't happen overnight but involved years of reflection, compromises, and finding a balance.

Echoism: The Unseen Spectrum

• Echoism, on the opposite spectrum of narcissism, is a state where individuals believe their needs don't matter, perpetuating pathological people pleasing.

• Recovery involves finding a middle ground, neither neglecting one's needs nor disregarding others'.

Tarot as a Tool for Self-Reflection and Healing

• Miriam advocates for tarot as a practical tool for self-reflection, creativity, intuition development, and decision-making.

• Tarot doesn't replace therapy but complements it, aiding individuals in uncovering subconscious beliefs and guiding their introspective journey.

Practical Insights from Tarot Readings

• Miriam shares the practical side of tarot, discussing its role in decision-making and problem-solving.

• Tarot readings offer insights into potential paths, allowing individuals to make informed choices based on their desired outcomes.

Embracing Authenticity through Tarot

• Miriam highlights the cumulative impact of tarot readings on her self-discovery journey.

• Through tarot, individuals can confront deep-seated beliefs, challenge echoism, and embrace authenticity by peeling away layers of self-awareness.