You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero: Book Club Discussion w/ Meredith Davis

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Is your freelance design business growing slowly online...or...worse, is it not growing AT ALL?!? Your limiting beliefs surrounding money could be holding you back!

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Tags: You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero | Law of Attraction | Book Club Discussion Questions | Book Review of You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero 2018 | Design Tribe | Limiting Beliefs About Money | Removing Limiting Beliefs | Lauren Lesley Studio | How to Get Rich Solopreneur

TRANSCRIPT:

Speaker 1: 00:01 Okay, so we're officially recording. Um, do you have the ability to trim the ends and it with, so I'm sure you know how to turn the video. Yeah, yeah, I can. Um, I can edit it and I'm moving. Okay, cool. So I'll just send you the file via Google drive when we. Okay. Thank you. So. Hey everyone. Welcome to today's Webinar with Meredith Davis. I'm American. Why do you like to go ahead and introduce yourself and tell everyone a little bit about who you are and what you do? Yes. Hi, I am

Speaker 2: 00:35 Meredith Davis, merrily creative company. I am a brand photographer for entrepreneurs and small businesses and I mentor small business owners in their businesses. Um, additionally I have a podcast called [inaudible], which is for entrepreneurs and I host networking events here in Atlanta for entrepreneurs and business woman. So I like to say that I am a multi passionate entrepreneur with a single focus on helping women grow personally and professionally.

Speaker 1: 01:02 Awesome. And Hey, for those of you who don't know me, I'll just introduce myself quickly. My name is Lauren and I'm a senior, a textile designer with um, a company called deb geary. There a manufacturer that works with different retailers like target West Elm Pottery Barn. So I actually designed rugs and pillows for different retailers across the US and I opened an etsy shop in 2011. So I also do a lot of portrait illustrations, clip art and avatars are sort of as nice side hustle. So I'm really glad that you're here today. We're going to be discussing the book. You are a Badass at making money by Jensen Sierra.

Speaker 1: 01:44 And this book really kind of changed my life. I read it for the first time about a year ago and I listened to the audio book three times in a row, which is crazy. I've never done that with any other audio book, but this book really made me aware of all of my limiting beliefs surrounding money. And I think that as women and as for me being southern, I think that's impacted, uh, my beliefs about money a lot. So we're going to go into 10 different questions that you can also use in your book club or just for yourself, um, that kind of a or 10 discussion questions that really help us dive into the content and deconstruct our limiting beliefs about money. Um, so meredith, if you'll take the first question is, what are some of the things you were taught about money as you were growing up?

Speaker 2: 02:34 Yeah. So, um, in my family we were very blessed that my parents had great jobs and um, they never discussed money with us, so we never really went without and we showed affection and love by doing things together, whether it was, you know, going with a pedicure with my mom or go on a shopping trip or taking family vacations, that kind of a thing maybe aren't split when I was 13 and they never really put any of it if there were any. They never put any money troubles on my brother and I. So while we were taught to be grateful and understand the wealth of the meaning of a dollar and how to work hard for it, we also never really went without. So, um, I, I never really learned to budget. I never learned the true value savings. So for me money was just kind of always there and was a tool to do things. And while that is so great and I had a great childhood, I don't know how I didn't know how to live on a budget. I don't know how to save. I don't know how to really make a dollar stretch and those things that kind of counted against me in my adult life.

Speaker 1: 03:38 Okay. Yeah. And they would say for me, um, my dad passed away when I was six and my mom was a teacher so I would say, you know, it was never, like we didn't, weren't able to pay for the electricity bill or have food on the table. Like, we always had our basic needs met, but there were definitely things that, you know, I couldn't always go to the same camps my friends were going to and things like that. Um, and I, I kinda grew up with these limiting beliefs such as, you know, money doesn't grow on trees or even, um, you know, you hear like money is the root of all evil. Like things like that that I think that are just so ingrained into our psyche and I don't know, I mean reading this book really helped me kind of deconstruct those things and think about the fact that money is just a thing that people made up. Like it's not, it's not evil. It's not good at. It can be an avenue for both of those things to happen, but it's really the person behind the money that's um, you know, making, creating, like either good in the world are creating evil in the world or you know, maybe just kind of spending it however they want

Speaker 2: 04:46 off topic. But I want to ask you, what motivated you to read the book in the first place?

Speaker 1: 04:51 So actually a friend introduced me to her first book called you are a bad ass and we were always just kind of trading different books that we loved, especially audio books because we had an hour long commute to our jobs. So that was kinda how he passed the time and she was also the one that introduced me to my book club Book Club, um, where I also met Tony. So we were both like kind of avid readers and I loved the first book. It's just called you are a bad ass and it's just a really encouraging buck. And then when she was coming out with the second book, you were a bad asset making money. I was definitely definitely interested.

Speaker 2: 05:28 Yeah. I picked us up because I own my own business and while I am making enough to support myself, I want to make tons more. So I'm like, you, I loved your first book, but this brought me to such a different place than I was at when I first picked it up. Like, oh, she'll help me make more money in my business. But it goes way deeper. And I love that word, so I was just curious what your original motivation was for it.

Speaker 1: 05:52 Yeah, definitely. And I think I have kind of a similar goal. Like I don't, I don't have my own business as of yet. Like I still work in my day job and I love my day job, but I am definitely interested in creating more passive income streams. I'm like, I started my etsy shop in 2011 and I've tried to move a little bit away. Like I love serving customers but it takes so much time and because I do work full time I don't always have time to spend with individual customer projects as much as I would like. So I've tried to think of different ways to serve those customers but in a way that's maybe pre made like a digital download or something that they can just pay for and download and have what they need right away. Um, so yeah, so I've tried to, you know, create more like pre made avatars in clip art, things like that. Yeah. So how did you know the way you were raised and taught about money? Like the beliefs that you were raised with, how did that impact your beliefs about money now? And I guess what are some of your limiting beliefs about money are some of the untruths that you tell yourself?

Speaker 2: 06:59 So I think if you had asked me that before I read this book, I would be giving you a different answer, but because I've read this book, I've done a lot of um, you know, in her looking in self reflection on things and I think as a result of my upbringing I am and these are things that I'm telling myself that I think are my limiting beliefs. I'm a spender. I spend all the money I make. So even though I'm making probably twice what I made when I first graduated five years ago, I'm still living, you know, kind of quote unquote paycheck to paycheck. So because we were always just spending family and I never really went out and I never understood the importance of saving and having an aesthetic, that kind of a thing. And I have always told myself and I told my friends, like, it's one of my characteristics. I'm bad with money. I'm, I miss manage money, I have a pile of credit card debt even though I know better. So I think that's one of the limiting beliefs I've always told myself is that I'm bad with money and so I think subconsciously it stops me from making money because I know that I'm not going to handle it. Well. I'm telling myself and it's a block that I've been given.

Speaker 1: 08:09 Right. And do you think that that comes from the fact that you're a female or like maybe growing? I don't know if you grew up southern, but um, I definitely feel like that impacted some of my beliefs about money.

Speaker 2: 08:20 So I think it come. I'm definitely southern. We've ever been and my parents divorced when I was 13, so, um, you know, they're totally not abide by but like lean towards some traditional gender roles like most people do in the south. Were in one of those, is that in the family? The man who handles the money, but my parents divorced, I was 13, so my mom handled her own money but we never talked about money and I think that's where the biggest problem is. No one ever talks about money. I had no idea what the money situation was. If there were money troubles, it was never passed on to me. Lost my parents hurts. They're great. Um, and then even as an adult, you know, as you go into college, no one teaches you how to manage your finances. No one talks about money. I see people who are making money, I don't know what they're doing with it. Um, so I think that's the biggest issue is that it was just never talked about and then all of a sudden I'm making a salary, you know, all I know how to do is spend money on things I want.

Speaker 1: 09:18 Yeah, I can relate to that. I think also being female and that's kind of being told that, you know, we're bad at math or like you said, like the man handles the finances. Um, I dunno. I think we just kind of tell ourselves that lie when it's like we are just as capable, just as intelligent. Like there's really no, I don't want to say no excuse because I don't think it's intentional, but you know, it's just something that I think that as women sometimes we push ourselves down when we really shouldn't, like we are completely capable of not only managing money but of also getting rich or being the breadwinner and there's nothing wrong with that. Like how awesome would that be for you to be able to contribute to your family as much as you possibly can? You know, I think that that's definitely something I aspire to now as an adult. But yeah, I mean I grew up in a house where, like I said before, like we were told, oh, money doesn't grow on trees and I think I kind of like, I think one of my limiting beliefs is that I thought that in order to get rich you had to be lucky. Like I just thought that. Or like genius level smart, which also is a sort of luck. You know, like you, you either make a really great investment or you inherit the wealth or you know, you have an invention,

Speaker 2: 10:36 right?

Speaker 1: 10:37 Yeah. So I think that the biggest thing with this book for me was Jen sincero talking about how she was literally broke until she was in her forties and you know, she's talking about going out to dinner with friends and like ordering a water and being like, oh I'm not hungry. I'm like eating all the bread on the table because yeah. And um, and she got so sick of being stressed out about money and not being able to do things that she kind of set her mind to learning, okay, how do I get rich, how like, like there's gotta be a way to do it. So she just basically studied, you know, how to get rich. And she worked with finance coaches and she took some really incredible risks. I mean, I, when she talks about working with the coach that costs like $80,000.

Speaker 2: 11:27 There were so many times like you, I partly read physical and I partly list audio, just kind of mix it up to that part of the book. I'm in my car and I was literally driving around like, like she spent $75,000 on a coach, like even still having known all this knowledge that was imparted to me by this book. I'm like, that seems crazy.

Speaker 1: 11:48 I know. I know.

Speaker 2: 11:50 And then now, now that we're kind of having this discussion, one other money belief that I have subscribed to Dave Ramsey's. Um, so I went into credit card debt and student loan. So I started listening to Dave Ramsey and Dave Ramsey's theory is death before debt kind of thing, pay it, you know, don't ever have any debt. And so I listened to that for awhile and I subscribe to that belief system, but especially if you're considering making yourself more money and that subscribes to people in business as well, debt isn't necessarily the worst thing. And that's a, that's a shift I'm going to have to change in my head. Now she does say if there are other ways to do it, you know, do that before you go into debt. So healthy respect for it. But that's one thing I'm going to have to shift a little bit.

Speaker 1: 12:35 Yeah, and I think that, I think that with um, sort of all the cynicism around taking out student loans, which is I think totally valid. Like I,

Speaker 2: 12:45 I mean don't take out $200,000 for it, but you know.

Speaker 1: 12:50 Right. And also I just think that, I mean this is just my opinion, but I think that school does not give the value necessarily that it's charging for, um, because when you get out of school and you have a business degree or you know, an a bfa degree or whatever you have, you're not necessarily making a salary that justifies what they're charging. So like I think if you're going to law school or med school, sometimes those salaries do justify taking out the debt. I'm not saying that it's not still like a lot of money to invest, but you know, I mean with a career coach like she did with taking out $75,000 to hire a coach when she was making like 35 or 40 a year is insane. And she borrowed the money from a friend, which she was like, I would, you know, I was so out of my comfort zone, like I can't even believe that I did it, but like she, I guess was so pushed or so driven to make this happen that, you know, she did a lot of things that most of us would be incredibly uncomfortable doing.

Speaker 2: 13:54 Right? Yeah. That was. I mean I still think about that part of what I. I still can't believe that she spent $75,000 on a coach. I am a business coach. I charge people to help them do better. And I'm like, sounds nuts to me. But it is obviously paid off for her.

Speaker 1: 14:12 Yeah, definitely. Definitely brought the value, I guess is my point. Like rabbit where were sometimes school doesn't

Speaker 2: 14:19 our value of what's crazy and what's not as subjective. And that's one thing you have to learn to change if you want to be making money.

Speaker 1: 14:28 Exactly. Okay. So the next question is, is it bad to want to get ripped?

Speaker 2: 14:36 So again, I'm trying to think about my answer pre reading the book versus the Oregon. And I have always been ambitious and I have always strived for promotions and I'm striving to run a huge business. So I think that I've, I don't know that I, I never necessarily held any negative beliefs with the thought of getting rich, but host reading this, it's kind of removed some of the negative connotations about it. She says, she says, rich is being able to afford all the things and experiences required to fully experience your most authentic life. And that's what rich means to me as well. For some people that means that they're gonna, they're gonna make $100,000 to live their best life. For other people it's going to mean that they make $5,000,000 a year to live their best life. Um, and so rich is very subjective. And one thing I've been thinking about in the process of reading this book is the negative connotations that come with money or with being rich like rich people are snobby.

Speaker 2: 15:37 Money is the root of all evil. Money causes more problems and it helps. Those are people based. It's millennial pop. Me and being negative are mutually exclusive from one another. You can be broke and be a bad person. It's very rich and be that person. So it's all how you decided to handle the wealth that you acquire. Um, and for me I'm giving back and making impact is going to be a huge part of my plan as a good human being and the more money I have the more I'm going to be able to do that.

Speaker 1: 16:06 So that's a really good way to look at it. And I think that reading this book also kind of helped change my perspective on that as well. I don't Dunno. I mean if I'm really honest, I think that before reading this book, I mean I've always been an ambitious person as well and like always went for promotions. But I think that, I don't know, maybe I felt, you know, I didn't want to talk about it too much because maybe i. It made me feel like I was being greedy or you know, maybe we're in other designers are struggling and like maybe I want you to. I'm trying to go for a higher salary. Like, I dunno, um, I definitely was brought up where it's not polite to talk about money, those kinds of things. But then it's like, how do you learn? So I don't know.

Speaker 1: 16:49 I mean is it bad to want to get rich? I think that definitely not like post reading this book. I think that one of the things she says in the book that really hit hard for me was that, you know, if you care about making an impact in the world or if you care about, you know, you know, I don't know, certain charities that you really, really believe in or even political organizations like no matter what it is the best thing and the most important thing for you to do is to get rich because money is somewhat, it's not an unlimited resource, but almost whereas everyone has the same amount of hours in a day. And like you have to sleep, you have to eat, you have to spend time with family. Like you have other obligations. You probably have to work, you know, so like, you really can't give that much of your time to these causes that you deeply deeply care about, but if you put your mind to getting rich, then you are able to at least give, you know, basically not an infinite amount of money, but like a seeming like you could have more money than you know, what to do with to a certain extent.

Speaker 1: 17:54 So

Speaker 2: 17:54 I'm really glad that you said the word greedy because you and I have talked a lot about giving back. I think that's important to us as people. That's not all people. And that's okay. Um, and I think some of the negative connotations do and might have with getting rich is that they're going to appear greedy. Well, as long as you're not pushing other people down to get where you want to be and you're not ruining other people's lives, why does it make you a bad person to want to have nice things? Right? So this idea of being greedy, like if you get rich, you think people are gonna, think we're greedy. If you know you're not greedy, you can either be rich or you can make everyone happy by letting them not think you're greedy so you can have one or the other. Exactly, yeah. That's kind of the mindset mindset shift she helped you make in this book is you can live paycheck to paycheck and people won't think that greedy thought about you or you'll be living paycheck to paycheck or you can make yourself rich and they're gonna think what they're going to think, but you're going to be in this house that makes you happy doing things that you want to do and you know, in your heart you're not greedy person. You just liked nice things. Nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 1: 19:00 No, there's not. I mean, especially when you're making enough to go around. Like, I dunno, I'm not judging anyone else, but for me personally, I think I would feel like a bad person if I was, you know, and again, it's subjective, but if I was quote unquote rich and I didn't know, if I spend it all on myself, then I would probably feel bad. But if I'm able to, you know, donate to causes that I really care about and give to people that I love that that's a good feeling. Like, I mean, there's no better feeling than that. I think.

Speaker 2: 19:29 So you giving back is super important to me. I'm just, I want to speak to those people who maybe you're like, well, what if I don't want to give back? Like, like that's your thing different from my thing, but it's your thing, but that still doesn't mean that you can't make money. Of course. Yeah, of course. You make you a better person that goes out and lives in the world, then that's a better contribution than you being a grumpy vote for a person.

Speaker 1: 19:55 Exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 20:04 So

Speaker 1: 20:11 can you hear me? I think it went up a little bit, but we're back. Okay. Okay, good. Yeah. And I want to add one little thing to that. Just in light of current events. I think that, you know, is it bad to, you want to get rich was the main question and you know, after reading this book and a lot of the, you know, aspirations that I've had and like things that I'm learning, I would definitely say no, but then you see things happen like um, like the suicides that have happened recently with kate spade and for gain and then it, it does kind of make me pause and say like, oh, whoa. Like is that what happens to people when they, everything that they set out to achieve and like, and I know that like, like you said, you could be just as depressed if you're broke or if you're rich. So it's not really like dependent on that. But those thoughts do cross my mind when you hear really tragic stories.

Speaker 2: 21:02 I think if you're looking to get rich to make you happy or if you're looking to get rich to fill something within you, that's where you're going to run into trouble. Yeah. And if you're not doing some self reflection and thinking about how to be happy and she talks so much about gratitude and this and that's an important mindset to have. So you're, if you're, if you're saying to yourself, I'd be happy if only I had a thousand dollars right now, or I'd be happy if only I was making this much money per year before you try to go make another dollar. You need to look at yourself in the mirror and have a different kind of conversation first.

Speaker 1: 21:39 Yeah, I think that's so true. Yeah. Thank you for saying that. I totally agree. Okay. So what are your biggest fears about getting rich or about being poor?

Speaker 2: 21:49 And do you have it? My biggest fear about getting rich is that I will screw it all up and I'll lose all the money because like I said, I've had the habit of mismanaging money. I'm trying to change my language. Like she doesn't do it in the habit of Ms Dot managing money. And I'm a spender, a saver. So I fear that I will not be able to manage my wealth and to continue to see it grow. And then another fear that I have and you as a woman, as a southern woman might be able to relate to this, is I fear that I may emasculate my partner. He's incredibly supportive. He is my biggest cheerleader and like he has given me no reason to think that that will happen because. But because of the culture I was raised in and passionate or all kinds of things, I wonder if I start making a significant amount more money with him, is he going to resent me for that? Like I don't think he's the kind of person that would do that, but that's that little bubble that comes up in my head, you know?

Speaker 1: 22:55 Yeah. That's an interesting point that you bring up because I think that that definitely does. And has happened to couples. Um, there was some podcasts I was listening to as well where the girl for. I totally am blanking now on like a web business. It was, but she built this really big business that we would all be able to recognize and her ex boyfriend left her because he was like, I realized I don't want an equal partner. I mean at least he admitted it, but it's like she was like, Whoa, seriously, and now she's married and she's like really happy. But I think it is important to um, deconstruct those beliefs and also just like have those conversations with your partner and like kind of make sure that they are, I mean that they are encouraging you and supporting you in, in your class because you also don't want to be resentful if you feel like you're holding yourself back. So it kind of gets.

Speaker 2: 23:49 And like I said, he's literally amazing course scares, no sign that, that would ever work for me to acknowledge that that little nugget is still existing. Um, yeah. And that's one thing she talks about is that you need to acknowledge all of these things. You probably don't know that they are in your brain until you start searching for them.

Speaker 1: 24:12 Right, right, right. And are you holding yourself back because you have this weird fear that right?

Speaker 2: 24:17 Yeah. And that's a good point. You said, are you holding yourself back like the whole first half of this book, she's saying you're doing that. You're not actively saying, I'm not going to go cash that check like you're not. These are conscious decisions you're making to hold you back from making money. It's small things that you don't know that you're doing that your subconscious is making me do to prevent you from making money. So that's why it's so much self reflection is required in this book.

Speaker 1: 24:44 Yeah. I'm being really aware about how you speak to yourself and just even out loud if you're joking, she's like, I think she makes a joke where she's like, why would you say that about yourself? You're standing right there, you know? And it's like, I mean, it's true. I mean I, I don't know if I'm, I tend to like have a sarcastic sense of humor. So sometimes I do that. I'm like, don't take it too seriously. But I definitely think that especially the thoughts that we're telling ourselves inside of our heads, that's something to definitely watch it. Make sure it's nice to yourself and encouraging to yourself. Okay. So I guess I should answer this question as well. Where my biggest fears about getting rich or not being poor? I think my biggest fear about getting rich I think would be maybe appearing greedy. I'm or also that just like people would come out of the woodworks and want things from me for the wrong reason.

Speaker 1: 25:45 Not that I wouldn't want to get as much as I could, but sometimes people think that you have more than you actually do. I don't know. You just, you see people that have won the lottery and then like all of their relatives and friends and like someone that was in their first grade class who they've never talked to you again something and you're just like really? And I think I watched a show where this woman had won the lottery and she moved because she couldn't handle everyone in town. Just having that expectation and that pressure her to always pay for everything. And she, I think moved in like worked at a starbucks in a place where nobody knew she had that much money. So like those kinds of things kind of make you.

Speaker 2: 26:23 So what, what kind of solution or resolve or are you telling yourself to combat that fear?

Speaker 1: 26:31 Um, I think just to surround myself with people who, you know, really care about me for me and don't expect anything and you don't really know I until that happens. And to a certain extent that's not in your control. I think it is, like you said, just being aware of that nugget and making sure that I'm not holding myself back because I have some of these fears that are a little bit deep seated.

Speaker 2: 26:57 Yeah. Sometimes those fears or anxieties that you have, you can never truly them them, them and you know that they exist just as like your body's natural defense system. And that's the end of their purpose. You can still allow the thoughts to come into your brain without making it affect your actions and your, the rest of your belief system. So, you know, acknowledging it and naming it is so important.

Speaker 1: 27:23 Yeah, I totally agree. Just observe it and let it pass and just be like, that's not real. That's just going to pass and about being poor. I think my biggest fear about being poor would just be that, you know, maybe I had to work for someone that I really didn't like. I mean I love, I love where I'm working now, but you know, when you are desperate and you really need that money, then you really have. You feel like you don't have choices in that you don't have any freedom. So I think that would be my biggest fear.

Speaker 2: 27:55 I'm a very natural caretaker. I'm the kind of person that puts everyone else before myself. I just, I want to care for everyone else. I want to make sure they're comfortable and happy and my biggest fear is that I wouldn't be able to do that. And if it got to the point where I had to go into a job, I hated to pay the bills, then not only do I not have the money to support people, but I don't have the time or the mental capacity to support people. So my biggest fear is that I would be able to be there for those that I love because that's how I show love and affection is to care for others.

Speaker 1: 28:27 Okay. So the next question is, what is the greatest thing that would happen if you were to get rich? We may have touched on this a little bit.

Speaker 2: 28:36 I would be able to live freely, like we've mentioned, I'd be able to live and do all of the things that I want without second guessing it. Um, I'd be able to give so much more. Um, we go to church every Sunday and my church is constantly talking about these mission trips that people are going on and unfortunately that requires a lot of money to able to do that. And that's always something I've inspired to do. So I'd be able to maybe not only go on a mission trip, but I could sponsor other people who might not otherwise have the opportunity. I could give back. I could, you know, in my wildest dreams I could start my own nonprofit. I could, you know, my dad's been an assisted living place. I could put him in the fanciest, nicest place in the country, that kind of thing. You know, my, my dreams could run wild, but I would, I would be able to live free of the restraints of, is that in my budget?

Speaker 1: 29:28 Right, right, right. I totally agree. I think having, for me, like the greatest thing that would happen if I were to get rich would be, you know, a to be able to contribute massive amounts to causes that I care about in the world. I'm also just the freedom that it would allow me in either in my schedule or in creative decision making, that kind of thing. Um, I'm getting married in December as well, so my fiance and I have talked about having kids and like, okay, well, like where are we going to live, where are we going to put them in school? Like, you know, just not having to worry about those kinds of decisions and just being able to make a decision based on what's best for my kids or you know, the situation

Speaker 2: 30:08 kind of all comes back to the freedom to make a decision free of money.

Speaker 1: 30:12 Yeah, exactly. Okay. So how did religion or church influence your attitudes towards money maybe growing up or

Speaker 2: 30:22 it can be growing up versus now? I was absolutely raised Christian and we went to church and I was little and I went to Summer Bible camp. Um, and while religion has always been important to me, I kind of fell out of the church scene for awhile. Um, so I think that I was raised to be a good person and to care for others and that being kind to my neighbor is a very important part. So I think that's kind of where that natural caregiver comes in. So I don't know that it necessarily affected me as I was raised, um, other than just hearing other people means that you're a good person. But in the past two years I have fallen in love with the church and my community and um, it has become a huge part of my life. And I mentioned before, you know, we talk about mission trips and my church is moving into a new building and I'm so passionate about the work that they're doing, um, within the Christians that attend the church and in the community, the people that don't attend the church. So, um, being able to not only tie what I think is the appropriate amount to tie but to also contribute to my church and they're bigger missions is becoming a very big part of my why. That's awesome. Good to hear that.

Speaker 1: 31:36 I think for me, I was also raised Christian. I was raised Presbyterian. We kind of, we didn't go to church every Sunday, you know, we weren't like here and there. And then when I became a teenager it became a much bigger part of my life. Um, I was really into like young life and then the Wednesday night thing and then also some days, um, and that definitely impacted me. I would say as a teenager. Like I started tithing when I got my first job when I was 15. And then, um, yeah, I dunno, I think I created a lot of my beliefs about money from the church I was attending, some of which I still hold onto and agree that like, you know, tithing is, is sort of a form of charity or you know, that it can translate that way and kind of learning that practice early on was really, really great.

Speaker 1: 32:24 So there are some positive things for me too though. I think that, and again, it's really the way that it's interpreted, but I think that, you know, money being the root of all evil or some of my fears of being greedy kind of come from that place as well. Um, and I, that I kind of started to think that I don't know, like maybe like rich people were bad and in very simple terms, um, from some of the things I was learning at that time in my life and it was probably just my own interpretation of whatever was being taught. But um, but yeah, I think it definitely impacted my attitude towards money and feeling like I would be a greedy person if I did want to get rich, which now I definitely don't agree with.

Speaker 2: 33:07 Well, it's funny, I'm thinking back, um, you know, you picture sitting in a pew and the offering plate comes around, there's no one's actually watching, but there is some internal awareness like, uh, putting in a, $1 bill versus putting in a $20 bill. You can create money beliefs kind of out of that. But also like you said, being Christian and such, giving people, being rich kind of gives off the vibe that you're not as a giving of a person. Right? Even though we were discussing that, that's not true. I think it's an interesting that you pointed out that church can absolutely have an influence on people. Um, and one thing my church does, they don't pass around an offering plate. They have what are called joy boxes. And every time like the minister or someone mentions the word joy box, the whole congregation goes, Ooh, place throughout the things. So, um, they've like totally tried to take that idea of like, you have to give him money. If you don't give money, you're a bad person. If you have too much money or bad person, they've tried to flip that on its head and like turn the idea of giving money to the church. It's an exciting, you know, empowering thing.

Speaker 1: 34:20 That's awesome. I like that. Yeah. Would you say that money is a limited resource or not?

Speaker 2: 34:29 Interesting. So I think this is a tough one because it depends on which perspective you take. From a personal perspective, I think money is a lot of resource because I can make, I know that I can make as much of it as I put my mind towards right. But, and the global economy, political sphere that we're living in right now, finances and the economy is a very powerful thing and I know that money is in fact a limited resource and you know, countries being $5,000,000,000 in debt is a thing. But like I need to separate. I'm trying to separate that from this because we're not talking about making the country rich. I'm talking about making me rich. I think personally for me in my life, the way that I'm going to interact with money, um, it, it has the potential to be an unlimited resource. I like that. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 35:23 Is there. Yeah. I think that choosing to see it as an unlimited resource even if even if that's not 100 percent scientifically accurate, we all know that like there's a limited amount of money in the world, but you, but the fact that you can have more money than you know what to do with makes it in your psyche and unlimited resource. And I think that as I've gotten older and as I have started to make more money, I think that time has really become a more precious asset then money even, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2: 35:57 Yeah. As someone who's trying to scale her business, my two, I have a service based business, so I'm a photographer and I'm a business mentor. I can only give you so much time. So in that business model, in order for me to make more money, I have to charge more and more and more for the same amount of time I'm going to hit an economic ceiling. Right. Um, so like you said, time is, is the finite resource here, money is unlimited resource here and if he can learn how to work with those and balance them in certain way, I think that's when you have the potential to make money be an unlimited resource. Yeah,

Speaker 1: 36:38 I agree. And it's like, yeah, exactly what your service based. It's like you can just continue raising your prices, but then those fears come in as well. Like, well, is anyone going to still hire me if I raise my prices? I've dealt with that a little bit with my etsy shop, but as

Speaker 2: 36:53 I think there's always room for us to raise our prices and we're kind of constantly making yourself smaller so it's hard for us to charge more, but there actually is a feeling where people will stop paying for your goods or services if you phrase it guy. So, um, you know, eventually you're going to have to scale your time. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 37:21 Are you there? Okay, we're good now. Okay. So what would you, this kind of goes into my next question, which, what is more important to you? Money or time if you had to choose?

Speaker 2: 37:38 So it's an interesting question because we're having a conversation about money, but as we've discussed, I think that the reason we want more money is so that we can free up our time to do with it what we want because at the end of the day, if I could spend all day running around the yard with my future family and husband, um, with an unlimited amount of money, that's what I would be doing, you know? So, um, I think they go hand in hand. I think time is more important, but you cannot have an abundance of time without an abundance of money.

Speaker 1: 38:17 Exactly. Yeah, exactly. I like that answer. I would totally second that. Okay. So what would you say now as an adult as a healthy view of money? Like, now that you've read this book and you know you're an adult and you're, you have your own business, what does a healthy view of money in your day to?

Speaker 2: 38:35 Sure. I've done a lot of reading on finances, not just with this book but in how to manage personal finances and then how to manage business, finances. The one thing that they are all iterating is that money is just a thing and it does. When you have a little bit of it, it does control so much of your life. Um, and so it's easy to get lost in the thought of, of money, but if you can kind of take a step back and realize that money is just a piece of paper that you exchange for goods or services, it kind of takes away a lot of that power. I actually did a podcast episode on this with the bookkeeper and she explains it in this really crazy way and it just like blew my mind. But as Jen sincero mentions, money is just like a form of energy, right?

Speaker 2: 39:23 So if you can kind of take a step back and let it or I have taken a step back and kind of um, made it release its power on me, it seems way less intimidating. It seems less scary to go after. It seems less scary to lose. And I think that's a healthier version of it. Then when I first graduated and found myself in a pile of credit card debt, like, oh my God, money controls me, I'm never going to have enough of it, you know, if I don't have money in my life is crap, that kind of thing. Whereas now I'm like, money is just a vehicle for me to live my life. It's not the only thing that's in control of me.

Speaker 1: 39:59 Right. And I think that having the belief or kind of the faith or the trust that it's coming back to you. So like money is a flow. And I think that was something that I kind of picked up and learned was that sometimes when we hoard money, not that you, you should definitely have your savings and like be responsible in that, but you can also be out of balance with that too. Like I know I have a friend who was like, yeah, my dad won't even buy something on, on demand because you pay like $5 or whatever it is. And his wife is now like, you can buy that, like we have plenty of money, like what's wrong with you? But he's still in the mindset of saving, um, you know, which is good to an extent. But like I think that you have to kind of let that go and be like, okay, like I can spend money and it's going to come back to me. And it was just this flow of giving and receiving, giving and receiving like. Yeah. Yeah. Totally.

Speaker 1: 40:55 Okay. So this is kind of a funny question and this is my last question. We can definitely dive into any other topics you want to touch on because I know that you took some notes, but um, I remember this part in the book where Jen's coach was telling her, you know, you need to take professional head shots and you need to do this and you need to do that. And she really didn't want to do it. Like she just felt like so cheesy and her coach stopped her and said, look, so you want to be cool or do you want to be rich? So that's Kinda my next question. Would you rather be cool or would you rather be rich and

Speaker 2: 41:31 be rich? Because something I've learned, I mean I'm 27 years old, so you know, I think between like 22 and 30, is it like a second secondary formative part of your life, right. That's what I'm hearing who you are as an individual. And one thing I've learned is like as long as I know who I am, people are always going to have an opinion about me no matter what. No matter whether it's in alignment with what I think or not. So I might as well be getting rich and continuing to know that I'm a good person, that I'm doing the right things because whether I'm broke or I'm rich or I'm doing things that they think are cheesy, they're going to have an opinion about me no matter what and their opinion of me should not have any bearing on how I live my life now. I know that's easier said than done. Like it's. My husband had a certain opinion of me. It would be hard to live with if I felt that was different. But um, you know, as long as you're surrounding yourself with people who love you and aren't going to be that way, then you should, you should be able to do what you want. And if you can go to bed happy with who you are at night, then you can go to bed with happy with who you are at night.

Speaker 1: 42:41 I totally agree. I mean, I pretty much feel like I've never been cool. So it sounds like, um, you know, I definitely experienced people gossiping a lot. Especially in my last job. There was a girl that wanted to be a model and so she had already left the company even, but people would kind of look up her pictures and be like, oh, look what she's doing, can you believe it? Blah, blah blah. And I was just like, you know what? I think that's awesome. Like if that's what she wants to pursue. And I mean being a model, like you're really putting yourself out there and be, you know, we have fears about. Or we've talked about the fears about wanting money and like feeling like, oh, people are gonna think we're greedy. Well, you know, with being a model, it's like, oh, people might think you're greedy, they might think you have like vanity issues or like you think you're hot shit or whatever. But um, I mean, yeah, I don't know, like I felt like people talking about her made them look bad. It didn't make her look bad. But I think that kind of thing definitely impacts people and I feel like I see people holding themselves back for fear of, you know, looking Tz or people talking about them or whatever. I mean,

Speaker 2: 43:49 part of the reason why I never took my business full time for so long was that I was scared that people wouldn't take me seriously. Um, and that's a real fear because if people weren't taking me seriously, that was going to be having an actual effect on the success of my business trip. So identifying those fears and you just kind of have to tell them like, get outta here, man, you don't belong here and you're wrong. Um, you know, we've talked a lot about religion being Christian and I think some of those fears that come into our head and it's, some of those are lies from Dayton and, and he's deterring me from the life that I want to be loving. So you have to, you have to find a way to manage fears that come into your head and, and learn how to live with them in whatever way works for you.

Speaker 2: 44:38 That's certainly individual thing and it's fearing what people are going to think. That's totally valid. You know, we're humans. We want people to like us. Um, I was actually listening to a podcast like going back to caveman days as women, if our husbands like died hunting, we would only survive if the rest of the pack, like just so like our survival instinct is to make people like us. So you know, it's normal to want people to like you and want people to be on board with your ideas and it's normal to it for it to make you uncomfortable if people don't like you. So don't think that you're nuts for those things, but you have to acknowledge that we're not paid people, we're grown ass woman and we're living our lives. And if someone has a negative opinion about you, it says more about them than it does.

Speaker 2: 45:28 Yeah, I think that's so true. Thank you for saying that. Yeah, that's really interesting about the caveman. Yeah. She said that and I was like, oh my gosh, that's a really interesting perspective. Yeah, it is. Are there any other topics you want to talk on or touch on from the book and you've highlighted through. I just highlighted like, so whenever I read business books, whether it's like motivational or it's tactical, I'm like, hi, like I have little stickies in here and I have my light it on pages, like I'm a note taker and I'm just trying to, um, a couple of things. So we kind of turn this into like a little mini book club, but for anyone who maybe hasn't read the book or thinking about it, um, these are just a couple of the quote and this is just for one page, so I'm not going to spend five minutes reading it can really resonate to anyone whether you read the book or not. She says

Speaker 2: 46:25 people hand over all their power to their circumstances instead of taking responsibility and changing their lives themselves. And I think that's a good way to sum up the book. You, if you are constantly saying, I'm managed money, I'm a spender, not a saver. These are things that I'm saying to myself. I'm constantly placing blame for not being rich. I'm circumstantial things. I didn't get a good education. I was raised in a poor household. You weren't blaming, you are not taking responsibility for your own future. Right, and I think that that's so powerful and she says you can have your excuses or you can have success. You can't have both. Yes. Some people have much bigger struggles and obstacles to overcome than others, but we're all given the same choice as to how we perceive our reality and that's just like so powerful. Maybe that's like probably one of those things I'm going to frame and put on a sticky note and keep in my sight line for awhile that you're in charge of how you live your life and yes, we were all dealt different hands and some people worked out way crap. Your hands on other people but you're still in charge of your future.

Speaker 1: 47:33 Yeah, I think that was one of my biggest takeaways from the book as well as that. You know this, this, the author was broke until she was in her forties and then she decided to get rich and she went about it, hired a coach, you know, and she, she's not. She doesn't get too much into the details of what we should individually do, but she's saying you need to figure out what you need to do and go do it because you can get rigid. I mean this book is more about your belief system around money and just realizing that you are capable really in any industry. I would say. I mean, you know, for me it's like the starving artist story was definitely something that I kind of grew up with because I always knew I wanted to be an artist or designer, you know, like that's shifted a little bit or evolved I would say.

Speaker 1: 48:19 But um, you know, it's like when I told people I was an art major in school, like, Oh, where are you going to do with that? You know, like in that you're like, oh, like you kinda have to take a step back and be like, really? Like, I'm fine. And I've even dealt with that recently where I was telling. I'm talking about my career too. I'm more of like a middle aged woman. And she started talking about her knees and how she was an art major. But then she went back to school to be a nurse because you can't make money as an artist. And I was like, what? That's handing power over circumstances. Yeah. I was just like, man, like that is so unfortunate because she's always going to have that inside of her and hopefully she enjoys being a nurse, but it's just like, no, like you can, like, you can make money in any industry. You just have to put your mind to it and believe that you can do it and then figure out, you know, and just understand that you can learn how to get rich. Like that was something that, like I said before, like I just thought that you were lucky. No, it's something you can learn.

Speaker 2: 49:24 Yeah. Last thing I want to say to anyone who's thinking about reading this book or is maybe scoffing at it because they're like a woman and like, I have a hell of your relationship with money or you know, they're like, I don't need a motivational book for me to make money. Well, first of all, if you're here watching this, you're probably not making as much money as you want, otherwise you wouldn't be interested in this topic. And she, she does talk about mantras in meditation and Universe and maybe in a religious person, I kinda had to like shift her version of universal intelligence to God and face so you can do that if you need to. Um, but it's not all about this. We will stop. She gives you practical tactical steps and advice to work on your mindset and to be more open to making money. And if you think that you don't have limiting beliefs, I challenge you to read the introduction and the first three chapters. And if she doesn't change your mind, then you don't finish the book. I'm like, you said, Laura, you can get this for free on. So, um, but I challenge you, if you think you don't have limiting beliefs around money, I bet you do. And you just don't know it yet.

Speaker 1: 50:39 Yeah, I found it to be incredibly helpful and I mean really, she's just entertaining as well.

Speaker 2: 50:45 So if you just listened to you like, laughter, makes sense. She's, she's, she's a really good writer. Um, I also recommend her original book. You are a bad ass. They're great. They're totally digestible and audio book. I agree. So give it total recommendation.

Speaker 1: 51:02 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Five stars. Thank you so much for coming on today. Um, where can everyone find you online?

Speaker 2: 51:10 Sure. So like I mentioned earlier, my company is called merrily creative company that's in e R, R I l y, like merrily down the stream. So it's Marylee creative company.com for my website or you can follow me on instagram at [inaudible], creative CCO and I also have a podcast for entrepreneurs and small business centers called the merrily show and it can be found on spotify and itunes.

Speaker 1: 51:34 That is so awesome. And for those of you who may want to find me online, my website is line Leslie Dot Com. Leslie is within eye. Um, I'm also, I have a youtube channel that you can look up under. Laura and Leslie. Um, I also have a podcast and a facebook group called the design tribe by Lauren. Leslie. So you can also find me there if you would like to connect there. And I'm on Instagram as Laura and Leslie Studio.

Speaker 2: 51:58 Perfect. Thanks so much for having me on this as a lot of fun and I really enjoyed talking about it with you.

Speaker 1: 52:04 Me Too. Me Too. Thank you so much. We'll have to do this again soon. Okay, see Ya. Bye.