How to Stay Calm with Strong Willed Kids? :: Kirk Martin [Ep 479] Summer of Mentorship Week Three

Don't Mom Alone Podcast

I love Kirk’s realistic approach to parenting. He understands what your home dynamics are like. And gives practical tips. After listening to today’s episode you will have at least three different “tricks” to apply.
Most of all, I’m thankful for the new perspective he has given me. Kirk helped me recognize how emotionally invested I was in my boys’ behavior and freed me from the need to regulate their behavior for them.
The last couple days I’ve enjoyed the boys more. I’m also less tense and frustrated when we are out in public. In fact, I may need to go back and listen to this episode more than once, so it sticks!
This episode originally aired in May of 2015
Kirk came back on the show multiple times. Check out additional episodes here.
What we chat about:

• Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior.
• The switch he made from training 1500 kids in his home to training parents to calm themselves.
• The one thing you can do today to de-escalate a tense situation in your home.
• How to calmly handle your child’s meltdown
  

I can only control one person in life, and that’s me.

• How motion changes emotion–helping little ones calm down b/c they don’t know how to “think” their way out.
• What to do in the middle of Target aisle 3 when your child freaks out
• Handling a tantruming child when his siblings are fighting and another needs help with homework and dinner is cooking (Heather’s daily 5 pm reality).
  

If you don’t care enough about yourself, to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually. . .why would anyone else care?

• How sometimes parents want good behavior so badly, they are too invested in it and give children too much control.
• How to be an impartial giver of wisdom.
• Write down your emotional triggers & do the opposite of what you normally do.
  

Connect with Kirk:
Site :: Twitter :: Facebook :: Podcast
Links Mentioned:

• CDs/DVDs
• 888-506-1871–Toll Free Number for Frustrated Parents
  

Summer of Mentorship Discussion Questions:

• Discuss Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior.
• If you struggle to stay calm when your kids are out of control, what are some of your triggers?
• Which of Kirk’s ideas to de-escalate a situation is most realistic for you? Thinking about how motion changes emotion.
• How did you react to Kirk’s idea of being an “impartial giver of wisdom” instead of being so invested in how your kids behave?
• Spend some time working through a part of your day that is most challenging or a situation with a particular child and brainstorm ways you could respond differently. Share with others in the group and get their ideas if you are willing.
  

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