Angry Midget ep15

Einstein's Kryptonite

Welcome to the podcast that doesn’t cater to the United States of Butt hurt! That’s right we make fun of cripples and midgets and we don’t give a fuck because if you can’t let that shit roll off your shoulders you’re a fucking pussy!!!!!!

We got a new guest/listener since episode one, Cardboard Steve. This asshole calls in from a payphone because his name sums up his lifestyle. He doesn’t beg for change like most homeless people. He hand crafts condom holsters out of high strength kydex. He also makes other cool shit like tactical wallets, and gun holsters, cause that shit is American as Fuck!!!

Check his facebook page out: http://facebook.com/nosurrenderholsters

Angry Midget

or a roller-blade on one foot? Here’s the stipulation on this weeks “Would you Rather” where you have to commute in the most fucked way. You’re either stuck behind an angry midget who walks really slow or you can take the more fast way of getting around by roller-blading on one foot…

Cardboard Steve has been waiting for this opportunity all his life. He’s always dreamed of having a midget sidekick since he was a wee little lad. So for him to trail an angry midget is a step in the right direction. Not only is this midget always pissed off, but Cardboard Steve wants to antagonize it a bit more by having oversized furniture and making it sleep in a dresser.

He also claims no midget should be poor in this country with people like him who’s willing to pay good money to own one like its a piece of merchandise. What a piece of shit.

Computer Guy feels the same way as he would love to watch one struggle with his golf bag when he goes out to swing some iron. I think these two idiots completely missed the point of this topic, which has nothing to do with actually owning a midget.

Kowboy ends up going with the midget just because he thinks he can tune out the midget’s ranting. Flapjack disagrees as he would still feel the midgets angry vibes projecting through his frowny face.

Flapjack ends up going with skating on one foot which requires cat like balance and a good sense of direction, because one wrong turn on a street with a steep hill will cause serious injury. Plus how the hell do you even go one one skate? Like as in how do you push yourself if you can’t use the other leg?

Real men don’t wear water shoes

Dag nab it! According to Kowboy on this week’s “Man 101” Kowboy lays down the law. When real men go into rivers with small jagged rocks and broken glass they should tough it out and build up cavemen like feet that can take a beating.

Nothing screams sissy boy like a pair of lime green neoprene water shoes. Cardboard Steve agrees half assed by saying you shouldn’t lose your man card for wearing beat up river shoes, which are regular shoes no longer fit for daily use do to wear and tear.

Kowboy says that still makes you a pussy, but what Kowboy fails to realize is Cardboard Steve being a homeless street walker hasn’t removed his shoes in over 6 years. His feet have actually become one with the shoe and grown into the fabric.

Flapjack says river shoes are okay as long a they’re not sketchers which I think we can all agree on are probably the gayest shoes on the face of the earth, unless your a fifth grade girl.. Then they’re acceptable.