"Those Are My Feet" discussing adoption with James Sells

Fatherhood On Fire

This episode's guest is James Sells. He shares the story of he and his wife adopting their youngest daughter, Sophia. It's a really powerful story of how God works in our hearts and the challenges that adoptive children and families face. And the understanding that can help us support them.

"God had placed an ability in my heart to connect with kids. No matter what area they were in." This instilled in him a belief that he could love an adoptive child just as much as a biological child. It was early on his life that he began to see the need for children without parents and he felt he could do that.

One year during Adoption Month, in November, a couple came to his church to speak about international special needs adoption. This reignited the fire in James' heart to adopt. So he asked his wife. At this point they had two young boys and she was not interested in bringing another toddler into their house. So he prayed to God to work in heart if adoption was something that was supposed to be part of their life.

Each year following the adoption message at church he'd ask his wife. And each year the answer was NO. On the fifth year, before asking, he told himself this would be the last time. Expecting another no, he turned to ask his wife and began rolling over before she could answer. To his surprise she said yes. The next day they called Bethany Christian Services to begin the process.

James expected a quick placement, maybe two weeks. It actually wound up taking two years for them to get a placement. It turns out that most mothers prefer to place their children with parents who don't already have children for fear that their child wouldn't be loved as much. While disheartening to hear, James could understand the perception. Finally they got a call to come to the office, having been two years they had grown discouraged and expected it was to update some paperwork. The mood quickly changed when the social worker said "I think we've got a match for you." James saw the feet on the birth certificate and told his wife, "those are my feet."

When asked how adoption has changed his approach to fatherhood James said, it hasn't really changed his approach to fatherhood much. Because he loves Sophia like his own. He says he'll have moments when he'll be reminded that she's not biologically his and it come as a bit of a shock each time. What adoption has done is changed his approach to everyone else. He says "If I can adopt her into my heart as if she's mine, I can do that with any other human being."

James talks about the struggles and challenges they face as an adoptive family. When they hear "You're not my Mom and Dad. My Mom loves me." The fear of having to see their daughter go through the emotional pain of feeling inadequate or abandoned by her biological mother. And knowing that all they can do is love her through it and pray for her.

You can email James at [e-mail]

Indiana Adoption Program https://www.indianaadoptionprogram.org/

Bethany Christian Services https://bethany.org/

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