"Verbalize That Fear, Identify It, And Face It Together" with Marty Samples

Fatherhood On Fire

Our guest today is Marty Samples. He's been married to his wife Beth for thirty eight years. He has two adult daughters. Leah, who's a PhD. candidate at Penn for history. Hannah, who's an Accounting Manager at Cummins. Marty's career began in ministry, mostly working with high-risk kids. This was mostly a reflection of the type of environment he grew up in which was very challenging. And he wanted to work with kids who really needed an environment of love, support, and encouragement. Marty says working in ministry with at-risk youth and in reflecting on his own childhood, he recognized the need for a loving and supportive environment. This was his number one priority as a father to create a loving and supportive environment. And to make sure his daughters felt loved and experienced love in our home. Over the course of the years the church communities provided love and support at critical times. One of the most important things about fatherhood is to be a student of your child's design. As Marty reflects on his daughters growth and achievement he shares that it's a privilege to be their father. We talk to Marty about making a career transition in 2003 just have the tech bubble burst and what lessons from the past he's applying to the current situation with corona virus and the economic uncertainty. And also the challenges personally of transitioning from full time ministry and being a leader in the church and now a volunteer it was challenging to make that transition in that environment. And then on the other side, moving out of a working environment in which everyone shared the same faith, core beliefs, and similar lifestyle into auto sports marketing which had various lifestyles was really challenging. He said he sometimes made mistakes and sometimes made the right decision. The biggest challenge is maintaining your own belief system. Marty talks about the parallels between ministry and professional leadership. Being a good leader means empowering people to be their best self and being a student of their design. And also remembering that you're learning from your team and their teaching you how to coach and how to empower. Good leaders are the ones who don't feel they always have to be right, but are really helping others succeed. Marty shares his own struggles with anxiety and the reality of anxiety. He says in the current situation you'd have to be almost totally unaware not to be afraid and anxious to an extent. Being responsible about the things we can control and being content in the things we can control. But the other thing is staying connected, even if virtually. It's really reassuring to stay connected to your family and friends and draw encouragement from one another. The hard part is bottling it up, then you're dealing with it alone. "Being able to verbalize that fear, I am afraid." Marty shares what he's done throughout his life and career to manage his anxiety. The big thing is being able to share his anxiety with friends and family after years of bottling it up and hiding it. He says being able to identify and name your fear has been great. We dive into how Marty navigates sharing his anxiety in the workplace and how he's learning to be more transparent. He says good leaders are factual and straight forward when they share their anxieties. It's not just unloading your fears on others, but sharing with people honestly about the challenges you're facing together. Final words of wisdom: As a dad be vulnerable about your own brokenness. Helping them understand that you're not perfect. While at the same time creating an environment of love and acceptance where they can grow up to be who they were designed to be. Be a student of your child's design and celebrate their differences. Connect with Marty: [e-mail] LinkedIn --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/fatherhoodonfire/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/fatherhoodonfire/support