006. 5 Year Reflection and Projection (2017-2027): Multiple New York Moves, Job Transitions, and $350 Rent

For The Worldbuilders

Soft, Where? is a weekly podcast and oral journal where I reflect on finding softness inside of software engineering. I invite you to reflect on the questions at the end of each episode in the comments or via email. Below you can find a loose outline and essay version of the episode to read while you listen or share screenshots of on social media.

I also invite you to open this episode in apple podcasts or your preferred podcast streaming service. This makes it easy to take a screenshot and share it with friends, it also creates a private feed that is automatically updated when a new episode is released.

ALSO LOL at me saying all you need is to record a Zoom room meeting to make a podcast then me having spotty internet and glitchy audio at the end. The hubris! The arrogance! The comedy! Please extend grace y’all and I hope you enjoy. <3

Introduction

Hopefully this podcast episode will serve as a personal reminder to trust the timing in all things.

I’m currently in this business coaching program and one of the things they had us do is a check-in on our personal story and the stories we’re telling ourselves. This exercise is meant to emphasize we can CHOOSE the story we tell.

Because this is a business coaching program and not a life or spiritual coaching program they had us reflect on what was going on in our career or business at a series of checkpoints in the past, present, and the milestones we hope to hit in the future. Based on when I’m completing the assignment, here are the checkpoints and milestones I’m working with:

* 5 years ago (2017)

* 3 years ago (2019)

* 1 year ago (2021)

* This year (2022)

* 1 year from now (end of 2023)

* 3 years from now (end of 2025)

* 5 years from now (end of 2027)

5 Years Ago (2017)

* In January 2017 I attempted to relocate to New York for the 2nd time. I moved to New York. YAY! But not with enough money or a job to comfortably rent an apartment to support my mental health. Instead I was living in Bedstuy above a dive bar, inside a cluttered smelly apartment, living with a cat and a annoying roommate who didn't clean up after her cat.

* In retrospect I’m ultimately thankful for this time because I learned I could move to a new city by myself and figure it out while learning the city lifestyle I did and did not desire.

* From January to March 2017 I found a job as a restaurant manager, I was unknowingly incredibly depressed and was fired a few months later

* After being fired from my job and having to move back home with my parents, in the spring instead of spending the rest of the year feeling sorry and embarrassed for myself, I doubled down on my dream at the time of becoming a fashion designer and got orders from a couple of my favorite boutiques. One of them being Sincerely, Tommy.

* I took a chance and pitched the Brooklyn boutique on May 30th, 2017, on a wholesale partnership with Zaire Studio. I received an email back within minutes from the owner Kai, who wanted a lookbook, linesheet, and terms. My terms were accepted and I proceeded to cut, sew, and produce full size runs for their order from my parents living room and kitchen. I fulfilled the order by June 21st.

* I spent the rest of the year working retail part-time at another one of the stores, Redeem to support myself outside of the income from Zaire Studio. (Shout out to Lori who supported and encouraged me during this time)

3 Years Ago (BIG YEAR — 2019)

* In 2019, I was inside another dream of mine: Living and working in Brooklyn teaching software engineering full-time. I took the lessons from 2017 and made sure I had a job and stable income before moving this time.

* Toughest Moment: Once again living in New York and finding myself in the throws of overwhelming depression and anxiety, which came to a head when I had a sobbing mental breakdown in