Episode 73: Routine Love Is Not an Extraordinary Ask

I Can't Fux With You! Confessions of An Uppity Black Woman

We fuxing with Black Mothers and Black Daughters today (or maybe not). The fractures between them are conversation topics covered in the annals of sociology, psychology, the chucch, and our homes. It is complex. The relationship with mine has been brought into full relief as I assess its shaky foundation. Mired by the cultural mores that say to have a vagina makes one less than - whose fault is it when the women are complicit in their own demise. This question keeps coming up as I consider why I get more upset with the mothers than I do with the fathers. I know now why - it is because I look to the mothers for protection, yet I feel that it is the mothers who throw us to the wolves. It is counter to the story that is told of the innate "love" that a mother bestows upon her children. My experience has not been one of love, but rather one of care (and great care indeed) and feeding. Care is a foundational element for love, but it is not love. And because we have made the words care and love mean the same, the clash of the Black Mother and Black Daughter is unsurprising - our languages are different. I ask for a love that is routine, a love that sees me, acknowledges and protects. Routine love is not an extraordinary ask.
But before we go there, we will celebrate the #ubt (Uppity Black Teens) in my life. Showing them routine love in myriad ways - including ensuring that their legs do not get itchier than they already are.
REFERENCES IN TODAYS EPISODE

• Tanit - Goddess of Pleasure
• Globe Amaranth Tea
• The Wight Foundation
• Psychotherapist CE Anderson Gives Breakdown on the Emotional and Mental Trauma of Black Mother Daughter Relationships, Black Enterprise Magazine, May 6, 2022
• bell hooks, All About Love: New Visions, Chapter Two, Justice: Childhood Love Lessons

If you are an Uppity Black Woman, ready to say: I.Can't.Fux.With.You! Visit us at omuwaluxe.com to learn more about The Black Woman Liberation Formula. Sis, it is time to unpretzel and get yourself liberated.
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