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”34 Felony Crackdown” (parody based off Green Day’s song ”21st Century Breakdown”)
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“34 Felony Crackdown”
[Part I]
Whoo, whoo-whoo, whoo-whoo
Born in a mansion, the son of a king
His shadow was opportunity
All the failures were greeted with a shrug
No consequences for all his f*ck-ups
The three-millionth time was no charm
The truth hatched, he’s more screwed than a chick at a farm
34 felony crackdown
There’s no misdemeanors to be found
His life of crime finally has a price
A rat behind bars, afraid of the mice
Whoo, whoo-whoo, whoo-whoo
His vests were always legal-proof
His Pampers, rat-hair, and clip-on ties too
Thought he’d get away with everything
Then he got smacked on the a$$ by Stormy
The three-millionth time was no charm
The truth hatched, he’s more screwed than a chick at a farm
34 felony crackdown
There’s no misdemeanors to be found
His life of crime finally has a price
A rat behind bars, afraid of the mice
[Part 2]
We are his, we are his loyal dumb sheep
Do all he says, still believe we are free
If he says “Inject Tide!” to clean our clothes
We’ll get naked and ask, “Where is the needle?!?”
The mob is where I felt I belonged
Took “Goodfellas” lit’rally
So I proudly joined the dotards and dons
Where I questioned authority
Where I never questioned authority (No!)
What they say will always go
Unless a whacking is on your bucket list
Then, by all means, just say NO!
No!
No!
No!
I don’t want to die, so I’ll trust and obey
Nod, smile, nod, smile, nod, smile, repeat
Hopefully my neck and face don’t hurt again
So many times I can say cheese
But for freedom that’s a minor price to pay (Shh!)
Sacrifice life to look creepy
Made to believe I’m free in mind, heart, and soul
No thoughts, feelings inside me
I know I am right
Everyone else is wrong
For the truth is on my side
On Opposite Day
[Part III]
Baa, sheep, in unison, baa, sheep
Making loud noises, all volume, no substance
Blah, sheep, in unison, blah, sheep
You’re the “Dumbfellas”: The dotards and dons
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