[PODCAST 247]: An Invitation to Start Your “Butterfly Project” (A Personal Transformation)

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What kinds of things are you excited about right now?

If you have a deer-in-the-headlights expression right now and are thinking, “I’m not excited about anything.” I’m inviting you to start your Butterfly Project.

A while back, I received a message from Celeste, and she wrote that she was looking for a way to pursue her purpose and use her talents and skills to help other people. But she was really trying to balance that with her family and other responsibilities.

She noted that as she watched me build my websites and do my work, I didn’t sacrifice my family in order to do this. It seemed as though my family became stronger as I did my work. She asked if I had any advice on how she and others (especially those in caregiving roles) could pursue something that lights them up and is exciting–in addition to family, home, and responsibilities.

My family, especially my husband and children, matter so much to me. I love being a wife and mother and it is so important to me to create strong relationships with them.

But this doesn’t mean that I can’t do things like podcasting, reading books and telling people about them, doing a YouTube channel, creating programs, and doing things that benefit other people outside of my family.

In today’s podcast, I’m sharing ideas for finding the balance between creating something you’re excited about while also focusing on personal values and important relationships.

First, I don’t want to pretend that my path has been easy or optimal. There have been (and still are) lots of ups and downs and lessons, but I have felt excited about my purpose for about two decades now. I want to share a few ideas and stories that may be helpful to you. (And I’ll explain why this is called a Butterfly Project at the end!)

The biggest piece of advice I have is: Just Start Exploring.

(1) When I became a mother, I knew I wanted to help families, but wasn’t sure how. There was a big identity shift during this time.

I started making friends with women and mothers in my area and interviewed them to learn more about their experiences and lessons they had learned. I started compiling a Knowledge Binder with the things I was learning.

I began to write articles about motherhood–even though I didn’t know how, where, or even if they would ever be published anywhere. We lived in a really small apartment after Eric finished graduate school and in the early morning hours, I would sit on the floor of our bathroom (the only place in the apartment where no one was sleeping) and write. These simple circumstances gave me the chance to put my thoughts together and start creating things that really mattered to me.

(2) Do something tangible that you can “complete” that may open an opportunity.

When our youngest son was just a few months old, I began filling out an application to speak at a conference for teenagers. I worked on the application while he nursed and was able to film my teaching audition with a youth group from church. I was able to be a teacher at this conference for five years and it opened up so many doors and helped me learn how to be an engaging and interactive teacher.

I also did a weekly writing night where Eric would do the evening routine with the kids and I would go in our room and write. I began submitting book queries and articles for publication, but these were not accepted. This leads into my next point:

(3) Keep the power in your hands.

Collaborations are great, but no one can tell you if you are allowed to serve or create. There was a year where I didn’t do any writing or creating because I got rejected.

It was so discouraging, but there was one day where I was really praying about my purpose and what I was meant to do, but I didn’t know how to answer this call.

I then had the impression that I didn’t need to wait for someone else to publish me. I could publish myself. So I started a little website and began teaching people what I had learned.

This was my very first time online, but I would not be where I am today if I had not had these lessons and experiences prior.

(4) Keep your work sustainable and flexible so there isn’t too much pressure.

When I stated my first website for mothers, I started so simply with no expenses. For those in caregiving roles, especially, if you go too big too fast, you’ll resent your loved ones or get overwhelmed/sick.

I liked to use the pull vs. push approach. I only bought software and other business tools when it was easy to pay for it. We didn’t do a huge push to become a big business. We never went into debt, and we didn’t try to rapidly scale. We kept things super small and simple and still maintain this mindset today.

(5) Remember that your purposeful work matters, but not at the expense of your people.

I’ve seen the sad stories too many times where relationships fall apart because the business or other projects take priority.

I’ve had to make some difficult, conscious decisions about business and how we will move forward with our family. These decisions have been completely worth it in the end, but we had to work really hard to create a balance and ensure that our family connections came first.

So why the Butterfly Project?

Let me tell you a story about a caterpillar named Yellow.

Yellow the caterpillar was walking around one day and saw a cocooning caterpillar. He asked, “What are you doing?”

And the cocooning caterpillar said, “I am becoming a butterfly!”

When Yellow heard this, he thought, “I want to become a butterfly! How do you do this?” His heart leapt and it sounded amazing.

The cocooning caterpillar said, “You have to want to fly so badly that you’re willing to give up being a caterpillar.”

This story really resonated with me when I heard it because there were so many places in my life where I was a caterpillar. I wasn’t expecting much for myself and I was letting other people make decisions for me. I was feeling pretty frustrated in a lot of areas.

When I heard this story, I decided that I wanted to go through my own Butterfly Project and I decided that I was willing to give up being a caterpillar.

You don’t “have” to do something big or extra to be important or valuable. But if you feel a call for more, and you don’t do anything to answer it, you are going to feel that sense of loss.

I believe God has something specific for me to do, and I wake up every day excited to do it. I hope you can feel excited about your unique purpose as well!

We have a special Butterfly Project Worksheet for you to fill out and utilize, and you can click here to get your very own copy!