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Let's Talk Kids: "Parents' Stories"
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When we become parents, we bring all the experiences of our prior lives into our work with our children. These stories quietly influence our decisions and patterns of behavior as we raise our kids. Some memories are of joyous occasions, but a few are of times of heartache or disappointment. Dr. Selma Fraiberg, a 20th century psychologist, recognized those painful memories as “Ghosts in the Nursery,” and wrote about their power to negatively impact a parent’s experience of raising children. A man who was abandoned by his mother may be anxious that his wife will leave him with their children. A woman whose brother had cerebral palsy may worry if her baby is a little slow to learn to walk. Dr. Alicia Lieberman more recently observed that there are also “Angels in the Nursery,” citing the beneficial influences which come back to bless us in our parenting roles. If we enjoyed rich relationships with our grandparents, we may work hard to nurture our children’s relationships with our parents.
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