Ep 3 - Relationships after Neurotypical Marriage w/ Lisa

Love, Honor, and Asperger's Podcast

Welcome to the Love, Honor, and Aspergers Podcast. Today, host April Anderson is joined by Lisa, to discuss her neurotypical marriage and how she broke into the world of Aspergers, since it so often goes in reverse.

Her first marriage was to an older man. It was neurotypical and a lot of the glue holding that together was the amazing sex. They were also great friends, and had fun together. We shopped for antiques, refinished furniture, and played tennis. But it was not an intellectually stimulating relationship and after about four and a half years they amicably divorced. Lisa also notes that he had a better relationship with her horribly narcissistic personality-disordered and abusive mother than he had with Lisa because he’d lost his mother at a very young age.

Lisa met another neurotypical man, fell in love, and started a family. He saw her through near death from misdiagnosis kidney cancer and a disastrous partnership with a businessman. The building they owned burned down, all the security cameras were turned off, and the partner was the last one out of the building. Her husband was helpless to help Lisa, and that guy got away with everything and bankrupted them. Six months later, her husband got a stage-four cancer diagnosis and ended up passing away in their home.

Her third relationship was vastly different from her first two. He had more degrees than a thermometer, one of them in psychology. He could fly an airplane, was in the military, ran a finance department, and was a treasurer of an organization. He was so clever, but he couldn’t hold a conversation, read a room, or read a person. It is a fact that disagreeable people, male or female, make a lot more money than those of us who roll over and are people pleasers.

Autistic men will spend shit tons of money on themselves, and then withhold everything. Money is an abstraction for human energy they can use to demonstrate love and withhold love. Lisa started walking on eggshells because she felt all wrong. The relationship became toxic because she became toxic to him. She had reached her breaking point, and that’s when they started discussing strategies on where to go from there. She is working on herself now, and when she moves out, she believes they will remain amicable.