The Beatles Christmas face-off: John Lennon’s HAPPY X-MAS (WAR IS OVER) versus Paul McCartney’s WONDERFUL CHRISTMASTIME – The guilt trip versus the Atari sound effects. Happy X-mas Kyoko & Julian!

Lyrics of the Lost

The 1970s … a boom time for smoooth music but dark times for The Beatles, torn apart and born again in their separate musical identities, each feeling their way to rediscover who they were before The Beatles, who they are now, and who they could become (before their soft new shells harden). All four would flirt with becoming Christmas Beatles, but only John Lennon and Paul McCartney would achieve immortality on Smooth Radio at Christmastime.

Who is the “immortal snail” and will John and Paul have to face it before the Earth is destroyed? Deploying their weapons of passive-aggressive song writing from both ends of a troubled decade, John and Paul are locked in a very slow battle for Christmas Beatle supremacy. Paul harnesses the ear-piercing power of his new Commodore VIC20 home computer. John name-drops his family struggles, leaves one child and embarks on a life-long odyssey to find the another, but finds time to send us all on a guilt trip.

A further two dark souls would also be born in this decade, their ultimate destiny would be to analyse, interpret, critique, speculate wildly, and sit in judgement of much greater people that came before them. This time with two songs and two artists to consider - can they upset two sets of fans at once? Challenge accepted. Is there really a debate as to which song is better? Is John idealistic, unrealistic or both? When was Paul cool, exactly? Is there a race of cowards? War is over if you want it (or fear it?) (or is it?).

Also discussed: The Pogues, Maroon 5, Tom Mcrae, Eminem versus Moby, Madonna versus Aled Jones, Jay Z versus Burt Bacharach, Don't Look Now, In Bruges, and protesting in a bag.

We also have brand new (and terrible) Christmas bob-bon puns to moan over. Learn the famous painters of history at the same time. What is Boxing Day anyway? Is it true that John and Paul had a physical fight? We have the exclusive audio of it going down.

Simply wonderful regular segments: Misheard Lyrics, Internet Theories, and more.

Would you like to appear (well, vocally) on the show? Do you have a pop song or ear-worm from the SMOOTH FM genre that’s infested your mind and needs to be investigated? Visit this page https://speakpipe.com/lyrics to record us your own voicemail hot-take on your specific smooth song of suckiness. You could be on a future episode! (you can always email sound files or text your thoughts to [e-mail] if that's easier). Cheers!

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