Artwork

Content provided by Aaron & Jenna Zint and Jenna Zint. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Aaron & Jenna Zint and Jenna Zint or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://player.fm/legal.
Player FM - Podcast App
Go offline with the Player FM app!

Blame or Shame: The Nuances of Defensiveness

32:06
 
Share
 

Manage episode 359784743 series 2901011
Content provided by Aaron & Jenna Zint and Jenna Zint. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Aaron & Jenna Zint and Jenna Zint or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://player.fm/legal.

In this episode, Jenna and Aaron talk about the nuances of defensiveness when two people are communicating pain. The biggest struggle in learning to express emotion on a regular basis has been the defensiveness that inevitably arises as the result of our partner sharing pain that we caused. Aaron shares that playing the role of the victim typically results in defensiveness that is blaming. "If I feel sad, then that means you are bad/guilty/wrong/etc." Jenna shares that playing the role of the rescuer typically results in defensiveness that is internally focused shame. "If you feel sad, then that means I am bad/guilty/wrong/etc."
They share the pathway to changing this unhelpful dynamic in bringing awareness to our styles of relating and then practicing through repetition, "I can connect to their sad and it doesn't mean I'm bad," or "I can be sad and it doesn't mean they are bad."
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

>>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

  continue reading

86 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 359784743 series 2901011
Content provided by Aaron & Jenna Zint and Jenna Zint. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Aaron & Jenna Zint and Jenna Zint or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://player.fm/legal.

In this episode, Jenna and Aaron talk about the nuances of defensiveness when two people are communicating pain. The biggest struggle in learning to express emotion on a regular basis has been the defensiveness that inevitably arises as the result of our partner sharing pain that we caused. Aaron shares that playing the role of the victim typically results in defensiveness that is blaming. "If I feel sad, then that means you are bad/guilty/wrong/etc." Jenna shares that playing the role of the rescuer typically results in defensiveness that is internally focused shame. "If you feel sad, then that means I am bad/guilty/wrong/etc."
They share the pathway to changing this unhelpful dynamic in bringing awareness to our styles of relating and then practicing through repetition, "I can connect to their sad and it doesn't mean I'm bad," or "I can be sad and it doesn't mean they are bad."
Please rate, review & share the podcast!
For more on what the Zints have to offer, check out ZintSquad.com where you can book one-on-one or couples coachings for emotional and relational health with Jenna and Aaron, join the waitlist for Jenna's life-changing Habit Mastery Course and check out Aaron's new book Numb to Known: The Surprising Path Away From Porn. Aaron also run's online small groups for men wanting to get connected, pursue growth and walk in sexual wholeness.

>>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<
We set-up a secure way for you to do that. This helps Jenna & Aaron to continue to be able to prioritize making content for you! We appreciate it so much.
Simply click on this link & you'll support both of the Zints' podcasts!!
patreon.com/TheHabitLab
Check out our website ZintSquad.com for coaching individual and couple's coaching appointments, Aaron's book, Jenna's Habit Lab Mastery Course and more.
Please review, subscribe and share your favorite episodes with a friend!

  continue reading

86 episodes

All episodes

×
 
Loading …

Welcome to Player FM!

Player FM is scanning the web for high-quality podcasts for you to enjoy right now. It's the best podcast app and works on Android, iPhone, and the web. Signup to sync subscriptions across devices.

 

Quick Reference Guide