))
007 – Why We Like What’s Familiar
Archived series ("HTTP Redirect" status)
Replaced by: Mike Sweet
When?
This feed was archived on June 22, 2017 23:38 (
Why? HTTP Redirect status. The feed permanently redirected to another series.
What now? If you were subscribed to this series when it was replaced, you will now be subscribed to the replacement series. This series will no longer be checked for updates. If you believe this to be in error, please check if the publisher's feed link below is valid and contact support to request the feed be restored or if you have any other concerns about this.
Manage episode 154949047 series 1140454
Content provided by Mike Sweet – Coach – Mentor. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Mike Sweet – Coach – Mentor or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://player.fm/legal.
Welcome to Influence, Psychology and Persuasion Podcast
This is session number 007 of the Influence Psychology and Persuasion podcast. In this episode, I’ll be explaining all about familiarity and how it affects our interactions and decisions. First and foremost, and more obviously, we, as a species like what’s familiar. From an evolutionary angle, if what you did yesterday was good enough to keep you here, alive and well today, then repeating that makes so much sense. But….. how can this psychological principle be used to your advantage, and what do you need to be aware of to prevent falling into the trap of following a pre-programmed responses.
Familiarity and similarity go hand-in-hand. You’ve heard the saying, “birds of a feather flock together”. And the reason why this is known so well, is because in so many cases it’s absolutely true. We like people who are like us. This recognition of being similar confirms to us that we are on the right path and that our way, our beliefs, and how personality traits are exactly where they need to be, which is why there are other people just like us. This acts as a confirmation bias.
How can I use this to my advantage?
Small-talk is a great way that people search for similarities. You’ll hear people talking about sporting events, seasonal events and even the weather in the quest trying to find some common ground. In the business world, you’ll often find those well-trained sales people looking for personal connections that ties business and family together. e.g. “I noticed you have an office in Hong Kong, my wife’s family is from Hong Kong, what a great place”. Having the ability to tie together a similarity allows for a rapid bond to form which from a business perspective makes the interaction far more slick and more likely to end in a successful business transaction. On a one-to-one basis, people are constantly looking for similarities when they are dating and so they should, remember we like people who are like us. So many people can get this wrong while they are looking for “the one” as it’s possible to simply blurt about everything about you, without giving too much notice or interest to where the conversation is going and trying to match up those commonalities.
What if commonalities are difficult to come by?
If you’re struggling to find common ground, and perhaps where a strong relationship is paramount, you can simply resort to showing interest. Just because you don’t have a direct sameness in an area, you showing an interest in a particular area, at least demonstrates that there is familiarity to some degree. This has another effect too, people love to talk, and more importantly, those people love others that listen and show interest, again this confirms their attitude, beliefs and interests. Another confirmation bias.
What to look out for
Now I am no cynic, but it’s best to be aware of people actively searching for similarities and familiarity during a first interaction. Salespeople, conmen, and others looking to bypass your better judgement will all use the similarity principle to allow them to rapidly and effectively build a level of trust. However, now you have listened to this or read this post, you should be completely aware that this principle exists, that some people use it to their advantage, and the others who know very little about it, blunder their way through life during interactions, wishing for common ground.
Adjusting your body language
It is said, that the largest proportion of our communication is funnily enough, non-verbal. This means your overall body language and demeanour conveys your message far more than the actual words, pitch, pace, and tonality that you use. Therefore, being aware of your body and its positioning is probably the most effective way to create early similarities with another person. It is actually called matching and mirroring. However, there is an extremely important caveat here. It is not copying and mimicking. Very subtle matching mirroring of a person’s body language will allow you to connect with them very rapidly. If a person is very slightly slouched and looking pleasant but a little shy, your best possible approach is to match that in your own way. To give you an example of what not to do is to boldly stroll over, chest out, head up, throwing out a very strong arm for a handshake. I’ll cover this more in the NLP podcast NLP in Action which you can listen to purely on matching and mirroring.
Create better relationships and rapport by being interested and finding common ground.
Search for:
Recent Posts
- 022 – 3 Behavioural Economics Principles You Need To Know
- 021 – 7 Nonverbal Skills Great Leaders Need
- 020: Beware of The Power of Touch
- 019 – Influenced and Persuaded by Authority
- 018 – Metaphors and Influence
- 017: Understanding The Impostor Syndrome
- 016 – Motivated by success? Probably not
- 015 – Generating Confidence at Any Time
- 014 – Fixed and Growth Mindsets What You need to know
- 012 – Be Mindful Now – A World Away From Social Media
- 013 – Cognitive Dissonance and How To Use It
- 012 – Managing Your Internal Voices With Sub Modalities
- 011 – What We Can Do About Stress
- 012 – Get Your Brain Off Its Butt!
- 011 – Pattern Interrupt
- 011- Expectation Defines Your Reality and Actions
- 010 – How To Learn To Accept
- 010 – The Circle of Excellence
- 009 – It’s Never Crowded Along The Extra Mile
- 009 – Representational Systems
- 010 – Creating An Uncanny Connection
- 008 – Get Uncomfortable NOW
- 008 – Perceptual Positions – From My Point of View
- 009 – Keep It Simple And Ask
- 007 – Your Stories Direct Your Life
- 007 – How To Use An NLP Anchor And Why
- 008 – Agree Even When You Dont
- 006 – Matching and Mirroring
- 007 – Why We Like What’s Familiar
- 006 – Understanding Hypnosis
- 006 – The Adult And Child Inside Our Minds
- 005 – 4 Tips To Prevent Conflicts To Create The Perfect Relationship
- 005 – The Eyes Have It – Eye Accessing Cues
- 005 – 7 Ways To Stick To New Years Resolutions
- 004 – Meditate To Make You Great
- 003 – Be More Selfish To Be More Considerate
- 002 – Questions Are The Answer
- 001 – Why This Life Coaching Podcast Exists
- 004 – Commitment and Consistency Principle
- 003 – The Halo Effect – Get The Edge With This Principle
- 002 – The Yes Set – A Sales and Influence Tool We All Know
- 001 – Pay Attention – Your Awareness Directs Your Life
- 004 – Getting What You Want
- 003 – Goal Setting and Well Formed Outcomes
- 002 – Cause And Effect
- 001- What Is NLP Podcast
Recent Comments
Archives
The post 007 – Why We Like What’s Familiar appeared first on Mike Sweet - Coach - Mentor.
46 episodes
Share
