Understanding Disconnection and Having Different Physical and Sexual Intimacy Needs-Guest Co-host Greg Fuqua

Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

• If you would like to buy the digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11) click here.
• If you would like to buy the Neurodiveres Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97) click here.
• To buy access to the recording of the Communication Workshop that Mona and Greg co-facilitated and the workshop workbook for ONLY $97 click here.
• The mixed neurotype support group that Mona and Greg will be co-facilitating will be held on the 3rd Friday of the month and begins meeting on 4/19/24 at 12:30pm EST. The group is for individuals (not couples) who are currently in a Neurodiverse Love Relationship. The cost is ONLY $25 per session. To register ⁠click here.⁠

During this episode, Mona Kay and Greg Fuqua talk about the disconnection and misunderstanding that neurodiverse couples may be experiencing around sex and physical intimacy. They also share ways in which understanding and connection can be improved. Other topics discussed include:

• Sex as a special interest.
• The importance of understanding how you prefer to show love and how you want love to be shown to you.
• Finding healthy sources for information about sex.
• Attending to other people’s needs to be accepted.
• Struggling with connections with your body.
• Being objectified.
• Being able to separate the emotion from sex.
• Social anxiety about what’s expected.
• Getting information from porn.
• Having a curiosity lens.
• Being hyper-sexual can be a form of self regulation.
• Alcohol can be used to help reduce intimacy issues.
• Sexual routines may be used to help pleasure your partner and sometimes this may feel robotic.
• It is easier to navigate sex when you have structures and know what works.
• Understanding sexual diversity.
• You learn by reflecting on experience…debrief with your partner.
• Passive vs active touch.
• Feeling rejected.
• Breaching physical boundaries when not ready or prepared.
• Being ready when our partner wants to connect.
• Sensory issues that we may not understand.
• Asking before engaging in physical touch.
• Cuddling may be overwhelming or overstimulating.
• Practice platonic cuddling and touching.
• Eye contact during intimacy can be overwhelming.
• Alexythymia may impact what you feel, want and need.
• Shame can create an emotionally unsafe situation.
• The importance of understanding each other’s sensory sensitivities and limits.
• Sensory overwhelm and having to meet the needs of your partner may reduce sexual intimacy.
• Engaging in masturbation and watching porn, but not being sexual with your partner.
• Scheduling sex may help the ND partner to prepare. Prevents initiation and rejection issues which could lead to rejection sensitivity.
• Address disparity of needs and interests.
• Remembering when intimacy was working well.
• Bridges of understanding and taking turns.
• Not understanding social cues and sexual abuse.
• Relational trauma.
• Understanding and addressing shame.

You can contact Greg Fuqua at : [e-mail] or check out his website at: www.gregfuqua.com

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