Shame Stories - Episode 26

No Empty Chairs

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Shame stories:
I should have known this about my child already.
I should have stood up for my child with ward leaders.
I should have taught my child better to respect ward leaders.
I should have confronted my child about their behavior or belief.
I should not have confronted my child about their behavior or belief.
I should have handled my child’s situation the way my neighbor handled theirs.
I should have listened better when my child told me about their changing faith.
I should have taught my child better so their faith would be stronger.
In one way or another, all of these stories boil down to the idea that “I am a bad mom. Things would be better if I had done it differently.”
Better stories:
“I’m so glad I know more about my child now. It helps me understand them better so I can be more supportive while they figure out how they want to live their life.”
“I wish I had been a better advocate for my child in the past. I can make a list of ways I can advocate for them now, and how I can be an influence for good for people in similar situations.”
“I choose to believe people mean well and are doing the best that they can. I am going to offer that grace to my leaders as I decide how best to interact with them. I am also going to offer that grace to my children.”
“My child gets to choose their beliefs.”
“I can decide when it’s appropriate to share my view.”
“Every situation is unique. I can learn from others and decide what’s best for my relationships.”
“I did the best I could at the time. When we know better, we do better. I am learning to listen better.”
“I taught my child as best I could. They were always meant to make their own choices.”
Can you hear how these stories have more compassion? They don’t ignore accountability. They also don’t ignore grace and growth. Learn how to tell yourself better stories.
Jesus loves me, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m trying to be like Jesus.
You found me! If what you heard on the No Empty Chairs podcast gives you hope for more help, please schedule a free Conversation with Candice. You can also visit candiceclarkcoaching.com for more information about how coaching tools can help you keep your relationship with your children and your faith. While you're there, be sure to pull up a chair and sign up with your email to be the first to know about news and events for moms whose kids don't come to church.
It's going to be okay, and even better!