Finesse

Observing Others

Today we podcast from a beautiful location!
A place where customers come first!
And it shows.
Especially in the show room!
But we began our podcast by calling out some bad behavior.
We used a lot of "B" words.
They are like the Bs of Bad Behavior.
The terribles.
The Terrible B's
Here were a few. Begging, Bragging, Bashing, Bullying, Belittling, Beguiling, Bemoaning, Behooving.
Beware of them.
(we left out bribing!)

You will find these Bs all over social media. These B's are what not to wear (ie what not to say) they are the poorest way to get people's attention or used as persuasion.
We can all fall victim to them on Facebook, LinkedIn etc.
They are the worst ways to promote self.
You have seen the nature of these kinds of posts. Those who bash others seem to think by making someone else look bad it, in some way, boosts their own value. But, exactly the opposite occurs. Those who bash their former employers, their EXs etc.
They may get some attention, but it is still a poor way to promote anything positive.

Then there are the beggars whose posts seem to always be about pleas for money or suggestions or or pretty much anything that the needy person needs. We may unfollow and even unfriend those who spend too much time begging and taking. It may not be as bad as bashing, but it certainly is a close second.
Not too far from bashing and begging, one finds bragging in the form of pictures as well as words. Think of the friends you have who rarely post on Facebook, but when they do, it is always about some great accomplishment or some exotic place they have been. Perhaps it is the pattern of behavior of bashing and begging and bragging, not a specific post, that makes these poor forms of promotion such a turn off.

The rest of the B's are just as bad.
Beguiling (lying) Behooving (preachy) Bemoaning (complaining)

You get the picture.
But, by far, the worst form of drawing attention on social media is bullying. It is similar to bashing but cyberbullying is no different than it's horrible real life counterpart. Bullying is bullying no matter what form it takes.

Instead of these bad behaviors, we found a better word to talk about.
A word worth practicing.

The word is Finesse.

One definition of finesse is this: to do something in a subtle or delicate manner. In a lot of ways finesse is like a balancing acrobat on a tight wire. She is agile and gracefully, balancing ever so carefully so as not to fall. Or perhaps finesse is the dancer, working the room or dance floor, naturally avoiding stepping on toes or bumping into people.
If you are socially awkward in the first place, then your dance moves will look fake or forced, and you will, more than likely, bump into someone or step on someone with something you say or do.

You really only have two choices then. The two choices are the difference between success and failure. You can avoid dancing, altogether, or you can acquire the necessary dance steps, by learning and practicing.
At some point, with consistent effort, you will be able to, effortlessly, move about the dance floor, with finesse, and gain the necessary influence to succeed.

Finessse walks the fine line to not fall into the behavior patterns of bashing, begging, bragging, bullying, bribing or beguiling.

Add Finesse to the Prop and you have the secret sauce!