188. Nancy McCaughey: "An Open Heart and Mind"

Once Upon A Time...In Adopteeland

Nancy McCaughey is a returning guest.

Nancy identifies herself by her most treasured life roles; wife, mother, daughter, sister, newly-retired midlife transition coach and late discovery adoptee (LDA).

She is in the process of completing her memoir, Reunion. It is about her own midlife ‘identity quake’ that took place at her 20th high school reunion when her best friend from childhood revealed a 37 year old family secret: Nancy was adopted.

Nancy returned home from the reunion without telling her mom what she had learned in order to process the crushing grief of her loss alone. Her husband begged her to not tell her mother what she learned. Nancy had no idea how many people knew but her. She researched why her birth certificate’s information was false and learned about Illinois’ sealed records laws and the amended birth certificate that replaced her original one. The injustice that adoptees born in Illinois were not allowed to know their identity only made Nancy more determined to find out the truth and the woman responsible for giving her life.

The real breakthrough occurred several weeks later, when she stopped asking “Why now, God? Why me,?” and instead, opened her heart and mind to the possibility that this may be happening for a reason. It was then that Nancy could see the mysterious synchronicities that were happening and unexpected mentors that were appearing, much like Joseph Campbell’s description of the Hero’s Journey. One by one, she found more clues that led her to find and reunite with her birth mother, Donna and four half siblings. Twenty-eight years later, as Nancy prepared to start writing her memoir, she took an Ancestry.com test, hoping it would give her the missing pieces of her story. It did, including who her father was, that he was the son of Croatian immigrants and she is the oldest of eight siblings.

What Nancy could not see in 1991 was that her fateful decision to attend her reunion with her friend was the beginning of a 28-year soulful and transformative journey to find her true identity, purpose and belonging. After searching and reuniting with her birth mother, Nancy transitioned from a successful 30-year sales and marketing career in the travel and pharmaceutical industries and completed a year-long certification program with Hudson Institute of Coaching. It was at Hudson, when she discovered that her true purpose and passion was to coach people who were at a midlife crossroads, asking themselves life’s deepest questions: “Who am I?” and “Why am I here?” Over the past two decades, she has had the privilege of guiding and encouraging hundreds of global professionals seeking the clarity and confidence to craft their new life narrative and successfully transition into their next chapter.

Nancy lives with her husband of 22 years in Bainbridge Island, Washington and is lucky enough to have her son and daughter in law who live close by in Bremerton. Even though she will always be a “Chicago girl” at heart, Nancy feels she has found the place where her she was destined to be. She enjoys opportunities to hike, kayak and trailer camp with her husband, David while being nurtured and inspired by the beauty of the Pacific Northwest.

Website: http://www.nancymccaughey.com/

Music by Corey Quinn