Tie Tack

Quest Monthly Magazine

There are many relics in our home—objects to which important memories are attached. You probably have some, too.Each recalls some journey, event, or person that is a part of your life’s experience.

They’re precious on that account—religious objects that summon up powerful recollections. One of my favorites is my tie tack. It’s an opal, full of fiery iridescence.

The tie tack was an unexpected gift. Its former owner, the donor, came out of the church’s worship one Sunday. As I greeted him, I noticed his tie tack and I said to him, “What a beautiful opal!” On the spot he took it off and gave it to me. I was both delighted and chagrined. I took off my tie tack, a UUSC flaming chalice, and gave it to him. It was far from an equal exchange.

More important, what he did in that fleeting moment was very typical of him. He was a person of whom it could be said without exaggeration, “He’d give you the shirt off his back.” He lived quite an ordinary life. He was a salesman of advertising novelties, so he spent much time in his car traveling from client to client. He spent a significant portion of his driving time thinking of ways to improve the community. He could be counted on to suggest some modest and simple change that would make a positive and real difference in people’s lives. Some of his ideas were real winners, saving much public money and touching many lives with joy and opportunity. My life was one of those.

One of my joys associated with wearing a necktie is to put on my tie tack. I have quite a few of them, but the opal is always my choice. It’s a ritual. I put it on and remember the man who gave it to me, and I resolve to find in this day some opportunity to continue what was his real life’s work: doing something simple, modest, and useful to improve the life of the community.

Over the many years I have worn my tie tack, many people have admired it. To many of them I have told the story of my acquisition of it and of what it means to me. With each telling I have confessed that I ought to give it away since that’s how I obtained it—by admiring it. Some day I know I will give it away, together with its story. Meanwhile I say that I’m keeping a list of its admirers and offer to add the name of another possible recipient. Meanwhile, I keep wearing it and keep reminding myself of its meaning in my life.

Reflecting on one’s relics now and then is a useful spiritual discipline—remembering the events, the person, the occasions when ordinary things were somehow transformed into religious objects. All around us are the reminders of the days of our lives, the people whose touch was a blessing, a balm, and invitation, a beckoning to be a better person—deeper, more secure, more daring, more generous, more caring. My tie tack does more—much, much more—than hold my tie. On some ordinary day like today I invite you to consider your relics.

—By Gordon McKeeman, Minister Emeritus, UU Church Of Akron, Ohio

From Singing in the Night: Collected Meditations, Vol. 5. Edited by Mary Benard, and published by Skinner House in 2004. Available from the UUA bookstore or 800-215-9076.