It's Time

Rainbow Expressions

Download and Stream Me Too

Blog Post

Transcript:

Last year I started working on an album project, quite by mistake to be honest. I started playing around with Apple Loops in Garage Band and ended up writing a song that I thought sounded pretty good. So, I kept playing around with these loops.

Now, it’s 10 songs later and as of the 25th of October I have released five singles. The first single, Me Too, was released on the 29th of March, and of the 10 songs, Me Too is the most personal. This song took me completely outside of my comfort zone. So much so that I couldn’t sleep at night after I sent the finished song to the distributor. Here’s why. I haven’t self-released any music in 10 years. I’m singing about a subject that seems to both unify and divide. I’m finally telling my story of being sexually assaulted when I was a kid. This is some scary sh**. To be honest, right now is the first time I’ve truly spoken about it. Writing and recording the story was hard, but what I’m feeling right now is off the charts.

I let my husband hear the track, and while he was listening I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. Vulnerability sucks. In his very British way he asks, very slowly mind you, ‘is this about what they’re talking about in the news?’ My answer was it is and it isn’t.

After writing the song I did some research on #metoo and discovered that Tarana Burke, a social activist and community organizer in the US, was the founder of this movement that started back in 2006. Tarana said she was inspired to use the phrase after being unable to respond to a 13-year-old girl who confided to her that she had been sexually assaulted. Burke said she later wished she had simply told the girl, “Me too.”

After the songs release I received emails and messages from people saying, ‘Me Too’ and thanking me for being brave and sharing my story. But I didn’t feel brave. I felt scared and worried about what people will think. Is the song good enough. Am I good enough.

In telling my truth I have realised that not feeling good enough is directly related to the shame that was left by what I experienced. This idea has permeated my teens and my adult life, but knowledge is power. Now that I know where this feeling was born, I can begin the work of growing past it. I’m already noticing that I’m worrying less about what people think. Maybe owning ones truth is the cure to the disease to please. I’m getting back to the me I was before the shame.