Deesha and Kiese on Writing About Parents, Forgiveness, and Grief

Reckon True Stories

Deesha Philyaw and Kiese Laymon discuss the complicated process of writing about family — specifically parents. They talk about the ways parents fail, how they disappoint, but why it is important, and necessary when writing about family and those we love, to give them grace, and allow them the room to make mistakes. They ask the question, What do we owe to those we write about? And they call for writers to be guided, first and foremost, by love.

Deesha and Kiese talk about their own relationships with their parents, the processing and tending to those relationships, and how they moved through feelings of shame and anger while working through layers of grief.

Reading List: Authors, Stories, and Books Mentioned

• Heavy (Kiese Laymon)
• “Snap” (Deesha Philyaw, Pipe Wrench Magazine 2021)
• “How Can You Be Mad At Someone Who’s Dying Of Cancer?” (Deesha Philyaw, Full Grown People 2015)
• “Whiting” (Deesha Philyaw, Short Reads 2023)
• “These Are Your Memories” (Kiese’s mother’s letter, 2018)
• “If We Can Soar: What Birmingham Roller Pigeons Offer the Men of South Central” (Shanna B. Tiayon, Pipe Wrench Magazine 2021)

More from Deesha Philyaw and Kiese Laymon:

• The Secret Lives of Church Ladies (Deesha Philyaw)
• Heavy (Kiese Laymon)
• Long Division (Kiese Laymon)
• How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America: Essays (Kiese Laymon)
• Ursa Short Fiction podcast (Deesha Philyaw & Dawnie Walton)

Produced by Ursa Story Company in partnership with Reckon.

Hosted by Deesha Philyaw & Kiese Laymon

Show Producers: Dawnie Walton & Mark Armstrong

Associate Producer: Marina Leigh

Episode Editor: Kelly Araja

Reckon Editor In Chief: R.L. Nave

Reckon Deputy Editor: Michelle Zenarosa

Audience Director: Katie Johnston

Creative Strategist: Abbey Crain

Sr. Social Producer: Sid Espinosa