Fifty Shades of Infidelity

Romancipation

S4 Episode 2: Fifty Shades of Infidelity

Episode Summary

For many, the concept of infidelity in a romantic relationship is black and white. However, what constitutes cheating is open to interpretation, hence the fifty shades. Your partner’s perception of behavior that they deem as unacceptable may be very different from your own. Make sure to understand your partner’s boundaries and comfort level, so that you don’t accidently step over the line.
Moreover, make sure you have a clear understanding of what your own boundaries are and communicate them to your partner. Would you be okay with your partner’s harmless flirting or provocative dancing with a friend at a party? Maybe. Would your feelings change if the same behavior took place outside of your presence? Probably. The point is boundaries are fluid, depending on the time, place and people involved.
Trust is a necessary component for a healthy relationship. If you have been cheated on in the past, your perception of innocuous behaviors may take on a more sinister tone. Make sure your partner knows your triggers so they can avoid creating unnecessary stress in the relationship. If both people are on the same page and are respectful of one another’s boundaries, hurtful mistakes and misunderstandings can be avoided.
At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss when your partner gives the family pet more attention than they give to you.

Show Notes

Different people have varying perspectives on infidelity. Some people will see it very black and white, while others will see all the shades of infidelity in between. In that sense, the idea of cheating can be subjective. What violates your boundaries or breaches your trust might be defined differently between people and couples.
When a couple first gets together, they rarely have an in-depth conversation about what it actually means to cheat. It’s so important to communicate your definition so you can be sure you’re on the same page, and sometimes you need to broach this topic no matter how serious the relationship is.
Consider this: If you found out your booty call was seeing another person, would you feel cheated on? Some people would; some people wouldn’t. If you haven’t had this conversation, how confident are you that you know where your partner’s boundaries are? That’s why it really comes down to proper communication.
We’ve talked about cyber-cheating in a previous episode, and this is a subject where the conversation with your partner can be very nuanced. Watching porn might be okay in your books, but only if it’s a specific type. You might draw the line at interacting with the performers, or you might not.
In this episode, the vent session topic is: When your partner gives the family pet more attention than you. This happens a lot. On one hand it’s understandable, but on the other it can be infuriating for the person being ignored. A bond with a pet is unconditional and therefore can transcend a human relationship. However, it can cause resentment towards the animal.
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