Of Course You Can

Wizard of Ads Monday Morning Memo

“Telling the truth more powerfully than is completely accurate” is to think and speak of a future event as though it has already happened. Some people call this “manifesting,” but I am uncomfortable with that word because it conjures the image of a person literally speaking things into existence, an ability that I believe is God’s alone.

Yes, I am of that ancient belief that the Big Bang began when God said, “Let there be…”

Although I reject the idea of “manifesting,” I do believe in visioncasting, which I define as the encouragement of others by speaking of a possible future as though it is certain to happen.

When a person needs courage and confidence, give them yours. Tell them of the future that you see for them.

I meet every Friday for a luxurious lunch with 5 friends, most of whom are over 60. Recently, after 3 hours of conversation around a large, circular table, we fell into a silence as each one of us took a sip of wine, or contemplated what had just been said, or looked at the menu for additional things to order. I looked up when I heard a voice say, “Who put it into your head that you could do the things you’ve done?”

The friend who had spoken was looking directly at me. Reading the confusion in my eyes, he began to list a number of things that I take completely for granted. Remembering that his question had been, “Who put it into your head?” I told him the truth: “My Mother.”

I was suddenly looking into 5 surprised pairs of eyes, and I was surprised that they were surprised.

The awkward silence that followed made me realize they were waiting for me to continue, so I said, “Whenever I told my mother that I couldn’t do something, she would always say, ‘Of course you can.’ And then I would do it. I can’t remember her ever saying, ‘Well, just do your best,’ and she never once did something for me that she believed I could do for myself. She would just look at me patiently and say with complete conviction, ‘Of course you can.'”

My friends kept staring at me in silence. I wasn’t sure what was happening. Finally, the friend who had asked the question looked into my eyes and said, “What a gift!” The others began nodding their heads as they repeated, “What a gift.”

I had the good sense to shut up and listen.

For the next half hour, I listened as each one of them told stories of their childhood that made me understand their admiration for my Mother.

Those thirty minutes connected a lifetime of dots for me. Throughout my adult life, I have been embarrassed by people who have asked me questions about my supposed courage, or audacity, or vision, of some other such fiddle-faddle. I was never sure how to respond to those people because I know for certain that I do not possess those qualities.

I have somehow successfully coasted through more than 65 years of life without a college education, happily married to the girl I have loved since I was 14 years old, because the two most important women in my life believe that while failure is inevitable, it is also a temporary condition, and in the end we will succeed, because, “Of course we can.”

Please listen to what I am about to tell you.

Give the gift of courage and confidence to the people you love. Tell them what you believe about them. Tell them what you see when you look into their future. The sentences you speak to them should begin with the words, “You are…” and “You will…”

They will see what you see, when you speak it.

Your words will change their thoughts and actions.

And they will live to see it happen.

Roy H. Williams