107: HEALING: Kendra Cunov on puberty, zen centres, trees and authentic relating

Memoir Body, Healing Story with Janelle Hardy

It’s episode #107 and I’m chatting with coach Kendra Cunov, who has been studying, facilitating, and (most importantly) practicing Authentic Relating, Embodiment Practices & Deep Intimacy Work for over fifteen years, and has pioneered some of the most cutting edge relational work on the planet.

I met Kendra in a leadership program, and was really struck by her ability to notice and ask about undercurrents in the conversations and stories. Plus, she's just an all around cool person. So I figured we'd have an excellent conversation, and here we are!

Here's a little more about Kendra, in her own words:

I was born at San Francisco Zen Center & spent the first 7 years of my life exploring the mountains & rivers of Tassajara Zen Mountain Center. The connection that time gave me to Wilderness, and the experience of being surrounded by people who were consciously engaging their lives, have both had a profound & life-long impact on me.

I spent most of my teenage summers living at Tassajara, and returned to live & practice there as an adult for several years.

Another strong influence on my life was my mother.

My mother is a strong woman, who raised me solo, while following her passion of becoming a teacher. We didn’t have a lot of money, but she created a rich life, full of beauty & experience. I watched her make conscious choices that often went against the grain, in order to create the life she wanted for herself & for me. From her, I learned fierce determination & that Joy has many paths.

I left the monastery & moved to San Francisco in 1999, in pursuit of a practice as deep, but which *included* relationships with other people in a more direct way. This has continued to be my life’s path & why I am so passionate about Intimacy, Expression & Authentic Relating.

The experience of trailblazing & evolving the practice of Circling, and cultivating the AuthenticSF community has been life-changing. Not always fun or easy. A path that took everything I had & gave everything in return.

As they say: You can either choose to stop, or life will force you to stop.

And when my marriage (to my business partner & best friend) fell apart when our son was 1 year old, I was forced to stop & let everything go to rediscover who I was, at my core.

Today, I have two extraordinary children, who are far & away my greatest and most humbling teachers; my ex-husband & I are fantastic partners in co-parenting & have a better relationship than ever; I am truly Home: living & loving with my partner (who is also my daughter's father), connected to Wilderness & tending Earth every day.

I know who I am, and at the same time I am ever-changing & always evolving. Some of my sharper edges have become smoother & I am quicker to laugh at my quirky self.

It was so lovely to connect with Kendra, and I’m pretty sure you’ll enjoy listening in to our conversation!

Kendra's website: kendracunov.com