Meat Sangria With Matt Lipari podcast

56:23

In this episode, Matt talks about how many dogs he injures on his daily walk around his neighborhood, why 100 men can in fact beat 1 gorilla if they arouse it enough, and why you need to touch cookies in their No No Square to know if they're worth eating.

1
I can be your Pope, baby 55:24

9 days ago55:24

55:24

In this episode, Matt talks about how Asian people in New York don't know how to clean crawfish, how disgusting and geriatric he has become at the ripe old age of 27, and why hot girls need to stop traveling and get a real job so that ugly guys can see the world too.

1
World's Best Turtle Breeder 1:05:31

16 days ago1:05:31

1:05:31

In this episode, Matt talks about how sad he is that Katy Perry didn't get stuck in space, why breeding exotic pets may be his backup career and why Paul McCartney is dead and no one seems to care.

1
Everything is a disaster 1:07:17

23 days ago1:07:17

1:07:17

In this episode, Matt talks about his grueling weekend building furniture, how excited his parents were to learn what an incel was and why there should never be a girls only bathroom in an all boys dorm.

1
Never Meet Your Heroes 1:15:22

4 weeks ago1:15:22

1:15:22

In this episode, Matt and his brother talk about their favorite racist statues, why you probably shouldn't go see a comedy show with a homeless person, and why peeing in the shower is the best way to wind yourself down after a long day.

1
Frankie Dragotto is THE SCHMEAR 1:17:51

5 weeks ago1:17:51

1:17:51

In this episode, Matt and Frankie Dragotto talk about how they escaped the Cutco knife pyramid scheme, how bad ChatGPT is at coming up with good molestation jokes and how they plan on hunting down and destroying all of their haters. Also Matt would like to apologize for ruining the audio on this episode, he probably wont (will) do it again.…

1
The Breast Meat Equilibrium 59:57

6 weeks ago59:57

59:57

In this episode, Matt talks about the stress and strain of playing 11 women at once, why doing poppers on a date is kind of gay and why you should never go to a poorly organized party in eastern Europe.

1
Why is JESUS on my shirt? 1:11:32

7 weeks ago1:11:32

1:11:32

In this episode, Matt talks about the horrors of traveling to New Jersey via public transportation, why you can't punish your kids by sitting on them (even if you're on Ozempic) and why every influencer on Earth is making a killing except for the ones you actually like.

1
Bulgaria's number 1 enemy 52:49

8 weeks ago52:49

52:49

In this episode, Matt talks about his fear of roller coasters and meat jello, how finding a Cheeto shaped like a cartoon character could make you a very rich man, and why AI art is actually kind of cool if you twist your mind and think about it really really hard.

1
GIVE ME YOUR EGGS 58:49

9 weeks ago58:49

58:49

In this episode, Matt talks about the demise and recovery of his favorite bald headed holy man, why you should invest in BLENDED BUTTERFLY coin, and how AMC theaters somehow bamboozled the public into thinking they lost their class action lawsuit.

1
Why won't a whale eat me? 51:41

10 weeks ago51:41

51:41

In this episode, Matt makes fun of the "Sexiest Man Alive" for having a stupid looking thumb (what a loser), why he has yet to receive an invitation to the Bop House and why hair color can instantly change how attractive someone is (hello Sabrina Carpenter).

1
I need to get Jacked 1:00:21

11 weeks ago1:00:21

1:00:21

In this episode, Matt talks about the horrors of going to Trader Joes on a Sunday, why a nude cruise is probably not as fun as it sounds and why meat head men are never going to be happy with your gym progress.

1
Make Groundhog Day Great Again 54:30

13 weeks ago54:30

54:30

In this episode, Matt talks about vampires who may be pedophiles who may also be United States presidents, how he almost lost the most beloved thing in his life, and his quest for a 7 foot tall wife.

1
My love affair with Obama 54:17

13 weeks ago54:17

54:17

In this episode, Matt talks about the secret love life of Barack Obama, why cleaning your iPhone charging port is the best decision you'll ever make, and why every swimming pool should have a designated section where you can relieve yourself.

1
Sell me your body parts 1:08:41

14 weeks ago1:08:41

1:08:41

In this episode, Matt talks about the dramatic return of TikTok and how it destroyed his teeth, why grade school teachers in New Jersey need to be put on watch, and why having a wet dream during No Nut November doesn't actually count.

1
Should we pee on Donald Trump? 1:02:36

15 weeks ago1:02:36

1:02:36

In this episode, Bernard mourns the loss of his favorite social media platform, explains why Greenlanders need to work on their curves before we should even consider invading them and tries to figure out what the heck house music is.

1
Say no to Ayahuasca 1:12:31

16 weeks ago1:12:31

1:12:31

In this episode, Matt talks about why it may be ok to take advantage of your horny boss, how doing Ayahuasca in the woods can ruin your vacation and why people who go to Jazz bars need to grow up and live a little.

1
New year, new goat 55:44

17 weeks ago55:44

55:44

In this episode, Matt talks about spending New Year's Eve with his loved ones (strippers), why getting a BBL is the most important decision of your life, and why having a panic attack during a class presentation does not spell the end of your public speaking career.

1
I CAN'T FIND MY WIFE 58:40

18 weeks ago58:40

58:40

In this episode, Matt talks about how much he enjoys being touched by his doctor, why a crappy drone from Amazon is the best Christmas present you can get and why the love of his life is just one more dating app swipe away.

1
The CEO of Panera Bread is going down 54:26

19 weeks ago54:26

54:26

In this episode, Matt talks about the return of christ (aka the McDonalds crispy chicken ranch snack wrap), why everyone- including Sydney Sweeney- has a lumpy body, and why it may be ok to give your local mega church all of your hard earned money.

1
Should I buy designer nipples? 1:12:51

20 weeks ago1:12:51

1:12:51

In this episode, Matt talks about his new life as a 26 year old man living in a 90 year old mans body, how Luigi Mangione could have been him in another universe and why having sex with a thousand people in 24 hours is just another day on the job.

1
Interview with The Au Pair King 1:27:30

21 weeks ago1:27:30

1:27:30

In this episode, Matt and guest Michael Lipari talk about the damage done to their brains by asthma medication, why you should never trust food at a potluck and why the best funerals are held out on the open ocean

1
I haven't been touched in weeks 1:02:33

22 weeks ago1:02:33

1:02:33

In this episode, Matt talks about the dramatic downfall of the Hershey chocolate company, why you should make sure you're watching the correct Wicked movie and why Asian Americans just can't stay away from a good 5 star rated restaurant.

1
You're all a bunch of NERDS 1:07:19

23 weeks ago1:07:19

1:07:19

In this episode, Matt talks about the joy of jumping out of a luxury apartment building, why beauty pageants were definitely created by creepy old guys and why a pot to piss in can be full of piss already that that's perfectly ok.

1
SexyShark 3: Return of the Creepy Magician 54:36

24 weeks ago54:36

54:36

In this episode, Matt talks about his luscious new mullet, why you should stop believing 20 year old country singers are hopeless romantics, and why you need to be more careful when booking an elderly magician for a halloween party.

1
I'm sliding into Ivanka's DMs 1:05:07

25 weeks ago1:05:07

1:05:07

In this episode, Matt talks about America taking back its broke ex boyfriend, why Martha Stewart is the most dangerous woman in the world, and why he's never going to slide into a woman's DMs ever again.

1
It's pickle time 1:00:04

26 weeks ago1:00:04

1:00:04

In this episode, Matt talks about the beautiful life of a rat in New York City, why every country thinks their men are pieces of garbage and how he's missed out on finding his wife because he refuses to give out compliments.

1
They call me THE GUY 56:08

27 weeks ago56:08

56:08

In this episode, Matt talks about his love for pregnant women at the gym, how good he is at fixing toilets and why robots need to take over so he doesn't have to marry someone dumb as bricks.

1
I caught Moo Deng smoking cigarettes 47:09

28 weeks ago47:09

47:09

In this episode, Matt talks about his expertise in building grandmas house snail enclosures, why parents need to feed one of their twins more food and his failed dream of becoming a Pokemon (card) master.

1
I be licking that mennonite milk 58:27

29 weeks ago58:27