How EQ can change everything

Smalley Marriage Radio

In 1990, Yale psychologists John D. Mayer and Peter Salovey originally coined a term that quite possibly has changed the course of humanity forever! I’m so jazzed about this show today! I can’t possibly think of anything greater than what we are going to talk about! I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it!

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SHOW NOTES

In 1990, Yale psychologists John D. Mayer and Peter Salovey originally coined the term emotional intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence is “the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.”

In other words you are able to truly live out the two greatest commands of scripture which is to love God and love others. Matthew 22:37-40, “Jesus replied, “‘You must love the lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

1. Emotions drive our behavior and impact people positively or negatively.
2. Our emotions can influence others positively or negatively.
3. EQ matters when we are under pressure.

How can you get better at EQ? Norman Rosenthal M.D. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-mind-your-body/201201/10-ways-enhance-your-emotional-intelligence)

1. Don’t judge or edit your feelings too quickly. Try not to dismiss your feelings before you have a chance to think them through. Healthy emotions often rise and fall in a wave, rising, peaking, and fading naturally. Your aim should be not to cut off the wave before it peaks.
2. Listen to your body. A knot in your stomach while driving to work may be a clue that your job is a source of stress. A flutter of the heart when you pick up a girl you have just started to date may be a clue that this could be “the real thing.” Listening to these sensations and the underlying feelings that they signal will allow you to process with your powers of reason.
3. If you don’t know how you’re feeling, ask someone else. People seldom realize that others are able to judge how they are feeling. Ask someone who knows you (and whom you trust) how you are coming across. You may find the answer both surprising and illuminating.
4. Write thoughts and feelings down. Research has shown that writing down your thoughts and feelings can help profoundly. A simple exercise like this could take only a few hours per week.
5. Know when enough is enough. There comes a time to stop looking inward; learn when it’s time to shift your focus outward. Studies have shown that encouraging people to dwell upon negative feelings can amplify these feelings. Emotional intelligence involves not only the ability to look within, but also to be present in the world around you.

Also, don’t forget…

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