Swerves and Curves | 9

Thanks for Glistening!

Inches apart, Sloane and Juan are sitting airplane close to each other, restorative Miami, UPS box sizes, Sloane maternity wear looks, ordering from ASOS, the Sad Charlie Brown, turtle boat neck, womb proportions, jaunty soft beret, Montreal Spy, Sloane is featured in the Miami Herald for her Zika birth announcement, Sam Merlott's restaurant, the hazmat and beekeeper look, Mid-Atlantic dialect, American Horror Story English accent, Juan's Kinky Boots story with Diane Keaton, Sloane doesn't know how to fall in love with a dick and a vagina, straight porn fascination, NPR and dissenting political opinions, friends vs family and political discussions, Juan's socialist bushy beard, knowing who you're marrying, Juan has a dream to have his own room and closet, great wifi for a wedding present, talking to kids about politics, presidential candidate roasting, J-Law was chopped, Billy Bush is a first cousin, the Fox money machine sexual assault fund, the arrogant Trumps, what's a Wiki?, Juan is writing speeches for Hillary, so much political talk!, is the Trump Network going to be a thing?

Hot Chopix

Billy Bush gets the Chop (but not from us)

Kim Kardashian

Rebranding her image, the stripped down Kim, Kris Jenner asking for a rebrand, Kim's scarlet letter, Kim needs to take a break and write a book

Tyga & Kylie

Debtor's examination, pleading the flu, buying things for Kylie Jenner, Kylie buying things for herself, Juan is fascinated with Kardashian money

Russell Crowe & Azealia Banks

Sloane wants to know if RZA is in the Wu-Tang Clan, Azealia and RZA working togther?, Crowe and Azealia had words, Crowe spit in defense, Azealia has decent music, how do you back someone who always starts fights?, Juan and Sloane both give her the CHOP. The two worst things you can do to someone (according to Juan), 1) spit on someone 2) the five finger forehead push

Sloane's favorite 'My Strange Addiciton' addiction, people that dress as rubber dolls, relations with inflatable pool animals, true transvestites, what's Sloane's strange addiction? Car eating. Sloane pretends to be on the phone and is ordering for someone else when getting fast food, fake phone calls, flossing consumes Juan's mind, turkey legs at 11am, mesh screens and Sloane's teeth, King Cobra

Sloane's product plug: Fur Oil (for your pubic hair), luxurious French women, full but patchy Juan's product plug: Boots No7 skincare, easily available, affordable