Off-Planet transmission 012: identity_unicorns_stingers

The Gonarch's Lair and Off-Planet podcasts

012: identity_unicorns_stingers Subject B skipped the pleasantries at the start of todays meeting, opting instead to interrogate his counterpart on their knowledge of antique-based reality television. His intention behind the line of questioning was not to explore the worth of humanitys lost or forgotten junk, rather to identify the masks they surreptitiously wore whilst desperately attempting to blend in to or stand out from a crowd. The desire for individualism appears to have been endemic in human society, a desperation to avoid anonymity was ingrained in the fibre of their being. The irony of course, is that those who traditionally stood out least have ultimately become the most unique. They quickly move on to talk of mythical beasts and creatures of legend, those born only in the imagination of storytellers. Principally they discussed the unicorn: a powerful, single-horned equid of indeterminate loyalty. If I were human I would finish this description with the punchline, ‘but enough about my mother-in-law!’. However, I am not, so I shan’t. Which brings us nicely to the final topic for today: aging comedy tropes and sitcom stingers. Both topics are incredibly triggering for our participants, eliciting visceral reactions and candid takes on outdated humour, canned laughter, and stand-up comics. During the conversation, our passengers inadvertently gave further insight into the final days of their home world. With every meeting we are getting closer to uncovering the truth behind the fate of Earth, and the part they played in it. A throwaway comment from one of the candidates inspired a potential solution to our current fiscal challenges: distribute the recorded sessions in the form of a monetised ‘podcast’ and use the proceeds to help fund the project. Personally, I find the concept of listening to faceless voices prattling aimlessly for hours-on-end torturous, but these asinine ramblings are readymade for this bizarrely popular audio medium. And let’s be frank, if we want to be serious about continuing to finance this endeavour we simply must diversify. Signed, An Observer Intermission: Crystal Clouds by rwlr