Living Memoirs • Volume 1

The Rooftop

Living Memoirs Volume l Sept 12-19-2020 // An eclectic collection of personal thoughts, transmissions, words spoken and notes taken within the last week. // Pulling the plug on previous programming. Circle back, again. But deeper this time. Make it better. More refined. The moon doesn't apologize for not illuminating the sky each and every night. So why should I? "I want to party, but like, only in a deep and meaningful way." Something I'm good at: bringing people together and making them feel at home, and at ease, within themselves and with each other. "What can I say? It's really all about finding tiny slivers of joy, on any given day." Said to a friend, referring to how I'm navigating grief. Because what would happen if I just stopped? I'd have to come face to face will all the things I had talked myself into loving. I'd have to admit that I had been forcing aspects of my life to work. I had gone in so deep, and how could I possibly unravel? But I had to. "We still have our youth - even though I feel 337 years old." But what do I need to do next? What if I don't have enough time? How will this make sense to the others? Will I need to explain myself? Will they keep loving me? Will it (I) be well received? How can I race through this phase of perpetual waiting? Am I too old to build a masterpiece? I've been wearing dark orange tinted glasses for 1 week straight, and my sight has never been better. I've proved myself wrong, more times than I can count. And each time I have, it's felt so damn right. I found a lie today in myself today. It said "You can't monetize your madness." --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/christa-fontaine/message