When you’re feeling unthanked.

Tiny Pep Talks for Stepparents

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!)

You are not obligated to a life of thankless servitude just because you're in a relationship with someone who has kids.

FAR too many stepparents find themselves in the position of primary housekeeper, primary scheduler and organizer, even primary parent. All of this is somehow just assumed rather than discussed (let alone agreed-upon), which can leave you, the stepparent, feeling overwhelmed at best and unappreciated & resentful at worst.

If that sounds familiar, it’s time for you & your partner to sit down sometime when you’re both calm and talk about what works for you, what exhausts you, and what you'd like your role to be. Keeping in mind that if either you or your partner have unrealistic expectations about your role as a stepparent, then you genuinely can’t succeed. No one can win when the goal itself isn't achievable.⁣

So make time to figure out together what works for your relationship with your partner as well as with the kids, the vision you both hold for your stepfamily, and ways you can both contribute to make that happen. Yep, BOTH OF YOU!!.... it's not all on the stepparent to figure out how to blend your family.

If you need some help guiding this conversation and think your partner might hear this message better from someone who isn’t you, my husband Dan & I put together a guide to help with that: HOW TO ACTUALLY BLEND: THE MISSING INSTRUCTION MANUAL FOR STEPCOUPLES. This guide is free for our paid Substack subscribers, but even if you’re not a paid subscriber, you can unlock access during a free trial. xo

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🧡 Need a bigger pep talk? Start here or join us over on Substack! xo