You don't need the ex’s blessing.

Tiny Pep Talks for Stepparents

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!)

Would it be nice if the ex supported you? Of course. But if they don't, that's also okay... because you don't actually need their approval.⠀⠀⠀⠀

You don't need the ex to acknowledge the importance of your stepparenting role for your contributions to be valid. You really don't. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Remember that the way the ex acts toward you is more about the story they're telling themselves inside their heads than it is about who you really are as a person or as a stepparent. If the ex has their mind made up to blame you and be negative toward you, there's no different way you can act or different thing you can say or do to win them over.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Don’t ever let the ex’s mind games make you believe that you don’t matter. YOU MATTER. This is a fact, not an opinion. Whether anyone else agrees isn’t relevant — so don’t worry about anyone else. And especially don't waste time stressing about what the ex thinks! Instead, pour all that energy into the new stepfamily you're building together with your partner.

If you’re feeling frazzled by the intensity of stepparenting when the ex is high conflict or otherwise difficult, I have a workshop that might help: HIGH CONFLICT STEPPARENTING: BLENDING UNDER PRESSURE. It’s free to our paid Substack subscribers, but you can unlock access during your free trial. Plus you’ll also get to connect with a great community of very supportive stepparents who totally get it, because they’re dealing with this shit too. We’d love to have you join us. xo

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🧡 Need a bigger pep talk? Start here or join us over on Substack! xo