235. Ennui Golf

Topic Lords

Lords:

• Jenni
• Xalavier

Topics:

• How do centaur internal organs work
• What is the most unlikely horror franchise to adapt to games?
• Do boomerangs work?
• Serious KAAAND!
  • https://www.reddit.com/r/TopicLords/comments/1b3j3nu/serious_kaaand/
• Most game mascots are the sexual avatars of their creators
• The Ted Dabney Experience

Microtopics:

• Rusty Lake.
• An intriguing, terrifying morsel.
• Whether it's okay to lie on this show.
• Life Eater.
• The horror fantasy kidnapping sim space.
• Shippers shipping games.
• How do we ship this game without destroying people?
• All of the horse except for the head and neck.
• Cosmetic centaur organs.
• Introducing yourself to the inside of a centaur and it's extremely squishy in there.
• A single multifunctional cube that births a centaur and that's the original Xbox startup video.
• Speaking a language that doesn't exist and every time you finish a sentence you hear church bells.
• Would a defective centaur wear a hat like this or like this?
• Centaurs always standing at their standing desks.
• A centaur wearing a horse mask.
• Playing Wii Golf with someone who remains sitting the entire time.
• Getting off the Power Pad to long jump.
• Sitting golf.
• My Dinner with Andre the Giant.
• The monster mash vs. monster bash.
• Adapting the Ghostbusters theme song to other media.
• Playing as the car and running people over.
• Jail for cars.
• Jelly beans that taste bad on purpose.
• 80s films for children that are meant to turn them into weird bisexuals when they grow up.
• Jeff Minter's Dune.
• Barbarella the video game.
• More things you can do with your Rock Band instruments.
• Sticking even more games inside of Fortnite.
• The lemur with the really big eyes.
• Microorganisms that live in water and have the end of a comedy roast bone for a head.
• Venomousness of hybrid mammals.
• Grabbing your stress ball after learning that the duck billed platypus uses electroreception to track their prey, Xalavier Nelson, Jr.
• Platypus patch notes.
• Adding expansions to Classic World of Warcraft.
• Gauging the temperature of the room when it comes to boomerangs.
• Throwing a washing machine in a circle.
• How you feel when the boomerang doesn't come back.
• Objects that you see on TV.
• Boomerangs that instant of being carved to return when you throw them, are carved to say "help, I'm trapped in a boomerang factory" in an Australian accent when the wind whistles through it.
• A boomerang with a heart on it that you throw to find true love.
• Boomerangs vs. Gen-Xerangs.
• Getting lazy by the time you sharpen the 7th blade on your boomerang.
• Disrupting marshmallows by making them kinda good.
• Hiring a game studio to make a satisfying sequel to Katamari Damacy and then immediately suing them for fraud because making a satisfying sequel to Katamari Damacy is impossible.
• Getting Australian concussions all weekend.
• Naming your facial hair "are you ready for the next topics"
• Hi guys call anyone knows how to buy guns and armor India?
• Crossposting between r/TopicLords to r/IndianTeenagers.
• Weeding out the cowards with Gregorian Chant.
• Looking at Glover and immediately understanding his salient sexual verbs.
• The distinction between mascot and main character.
• Your Sonics, your Gexes and your Crashes Bandicoot.
• Switching places with your therapist.
• Non-saucy mascots.
• Having to pick between being horny and being a sociopath because you can't be both.
• Glover vs. Hamburger Helper vs. Thing.
• Opening yourself to a deeper Freudian zeitgeist.
• The mascot platformer you keep seeing roms of but have never downloaded.
• Blinx 2: Masters of Time and Space.
• Blinx dressing up as the lead singer of Power Man 5000.
• Exactly the sort of podcast segment you want to commit to sight unseen.
• Being willing to give up 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand to make a friend happy.
• How much do you want that Golden Microphone?
• The crucible of the soul you go through to record a podcast.
• People in the future deciding what you would have made a podcast about if you were still alive and making that podcast.
• The Xalavier Nelson, Jr. Experience.
• The dream list of developers you ask to help finish your game in your will.
• Locking Albert Einsten and Genghis Khan in a haunted house and they vote each other off the show back and forth forever.
• A deeply safe field for job hunting.
• The Ted Dabney Experience of finding out that Ted Dabney died twelve years ago.
• Mrs. Columbo.
• A movie named "This Movie Has Marky Mark In It."
• A game called Beyonce Battle Royale that doesn't have Beyonce in it and it's not a battle royale. (It's a clicker.)
• Beyonce: Oops All Mudkips.

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