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Shame On Me?
Manage episode 431320745 series 3589413
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An eighty-year-old man walks into a confessional. He sits down and the priest asks him to submit his sins to the lord.
The old man says, "I married a beautiful eighteen year old woman, with a great body that wants to have sex as often as I can."
The priest says, "OK... but if you are married, it's not a sin and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Why are you telling me?"
The old man says, "I'm not just telling you Father... I'm telling everybody!"
-Anonymous
Shame used to serve a necessary function in society. It is as basic a construct as the fight or flight response, or your reaction to a hot surface. People have not always used shame properly, but let's not throw out the baby with the bath water.
Guilt is when you know you have done something wrong; shame is when everyone knows you have done something wrong. Shame is proportional to the people that know your name because you wanted it that way. It is easy to live a life unknown, to be a hermit, but it is lonely. Unless you are a hermit, I know you will do something that makes you feel guilty once in a while. This guilt can only turn to shame, which it must do or the guilt will eat you alive bit by bit.
There is a time for all things, and there is definitely a time to shame.
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