Beyond the Words: Crafting Effective Conversations with Daniel Stillman

Unlearn

Daniel Stillman, an executive coach, and facilitator, is an authority in the field of conversational leadership. With a wealth of experience as a conversation designer and an author, Daniel has dedicated his career to enhancing the way we communicate. His book, Good Talk: How to Design Conversations That Matter, is recognized for its impactful insights into communication dynamics and strategies. In this episode of the Unlearn Podcast, Daniel joins Barry O’Reilly to explore the importance of collaboration and how to create an environment conducive to productive dialogue, particularly in the context of leadership.

Conversational Leadership

Conversational leadership, as defined by Daniel, refers to an approach to leadership that emphasizes the importance of effective communication and dialogue. It relies on the power of conversation to inspire, motivate, and engage individuals or teams in a meaningful and productive manner.

“You cannot have a divergent, emergent and convergent conversation truly all in one go,” Daniel quotes from Chris Ertel’s book, Moments of Impact. “Everybody wants to be in the conversation, and it's not effective if everyone's in the conversation, because everyone can't talk all the time and there's only so much time we can have together.” He explores the mechanics of designing productive meetings, especially in a remote work landscape. He explains that strategic collaboration, hinged on appropriate tools and methods, is integral to making meaningful progress. Barry comments, “This idea of opening, exploring, and closing - it gives people a framework [to have conversations with].”

The Nine P Model

Daniel introduces his holistic Nine P Model of Conversation Design. This includes:

• Purpose (the reason or aim of the conversation),
• Principles (the agreed norms and values to be adhered to),
• Process (the methods or steps to be followed),
• Place (the physical or virtual space where the conversation occurs),
• Pitfalls (potential risks or problems),
• Progress markers (indicators of progress),
• Product or outcome desired (the tangible or intangible results expected from the conversation), and
• People involved (the participants in the conversation), and Potential outcomes (the possible consequences of the conversation).

Link to learn more about the Model is here.

Looking Ahead

Daniel is looking forward to the way collaboration, conversation and AI will intersect to foster more effective communication and goal achievement. He emphasizes the significance of adapting our thought processes, referencing the "Ask/Tell" two by two matrix (more on that here) and 'triple loop learning' (more on that here) as valuable tools for changing how we approach problem-solving and action. Daniel views AI as an assistive component that can enhance our conversations and relationships.

Resources

Daniel Stillman on the Web | LinkedIn | Twitter

Read full show notes at BarryO'Reilly.com