The Friendship Expert, Parts 1 & 2 [Rebroadcast]

What Rules!?: A career podcast for women of color

Hello, Rulebreakers!

We're hard at work behind the scenes on some new ideas for Color Forward and that means looking back at some of our favorite moments from the past two years. In lieu of new content, we thought we'd share those moments with all of you, along with our thoughts about why these conversations still resonate so much. If you missed these episodes when they first aired (and even if you didn't), you're in for a real treat!

We hope you enjoy our 2022 Summer Series and feel as excited as we do for the future of our amazing, multicultural community of changemakers!

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Notes for Part 1:

Did you know there's actual research that indicates that most people like you more than you think they do? Well, Dr. Marisa G. Franco knows it, which is why she's writing a book all about how to make friends as an adult. Listen as Alisa and Merary discuss what real friendship looks like in their professional and personal lives.

"There's a point at which the desire to protect yourself becomes a harm. When you're rejecting people before they reject you and you're not experiencing the feelings of connecting with other people, the feeling of being replenished and rejuvenated, the feeling of being seen and known. All of those are something that you might be missing out on in your journey to self protect." – Dr. Marisa G. Franco, PhD

Topics discussed in episode 28:

• The Liking Gap
• Underestimating first impressions
• Making friends takes work
• You're more likable than you might think
• Self-protection vs. self-harm
• Being intentional about making friends
• Racial preferences and unconscious bias
• The highest honor of friendship

The Highest Honor of Friendship is an excerpt from a post on Wonderoak by Jess Johnston.

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Notes for Part 2:

Have you ever had to break up with a friend? How do you know when it's time to let them go? Or what if it's not time but you're not sure how to have a conversation to find out?

This week, Alisa, Rosa, and Merary go deep into their own theories about what healthy friendship looks like and what to do when you're ready to say goodbye.

"As human beings, if we've invested a lot of time into something, we're more likely to want to continue the relationship. Just because we've invested a lot, we assume that we should continue this relationship when that's not necessarily true. And I think we need to normalize outgrowing relationships with people." – Dr. Marisa G. Franco, Friendship Expert

Topics discussed in this episode:

• Creating a framework to let friends go
• Ambiguous loss
• Reciprocity Theory
• Other theories on compartmentalizing friendships
• Healthy vs. unhealthy relationships
• Three factors to stay in a relationship

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More from Dr. Marisa Franco: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Psychology Today

More from Alisa Manjarrez: The Happy Cactus

More from Rosa Santos: LinkedIn

More from Dr. Merary Simeon: MerarySimeon.com