041. Navigating Life's Toughest Conversations with Michelle Surtees

Without Losing Your Cool with Shantelle Bisson

In this episode, Michelle Surtees (https://www.instagram.com/tough.cookie.communications/) joins me to talk about her latest book, "Crummy Conversations," and her beliefs on the importance of communication in all types of relationships – especially with our kids.

Michelle dives in with her inspiration for writing "Crummy Conversations," a book about talking with kids about death, divorce, diagnosis, departure, and disaster. She emphasizes the importance of kids understanding the whole picture and why it's crucial for parents to be honest with their children about difficult topics.

As someone who has worked with children and families for over 18 years, Michelle believes that courageous communication is for everyone. She shares how she transformed her communication style and in turn, transformed her relationships and brought her closer to herself. She explains the goal of intentional and empathetic communication and introduces the Courage to Communicate model.
Michelle also gives us tips for navigating situations that don't have a positive outcome and differentiating between real danger and fight, flight, or freeze.
As you’ll hear in our conversation, Michelle's insights remind us of the importance of intentional and empathetic communication in all aspects of our lives.
Learn more about Michelle here: https://toughcookiecommunications.com/
We talk about:

• [2:15] Why Michelle wrote her book, Crummy Conversations
• [5:35] Why it's so important for kids to see and understand the whole picture
• [7:50] How to handle wishing we could go back and change things
• [9:00] What Raising Your Kids Without Losing Your Cool actually means
• [10:55] How Michelle transformed her communication style and in turn transformed her relationships
• [13:45] How to bring your full self to your relationship
• [15:10] The goal of intentional and empathetic communication
• [17:25] The Courage to Communicate model
• [32:40] Navigating situations that don't have a positive outcome
• [34:10] The role of our Amygdala
• [37:30] Differentiating between real danger and fight, flight or freeze
• [39:00] Strategies to process and move forward in hard moments
• [45:05] Tips for making uncomfortable conversations feel more natural
• [47:15] What intentional and empathetic communication is

Loved this episode? I know, me too, friend! Me too! If this episode resonated with you, we'd love to hear from you, say hi on Instagram @shantellebisson, @withoutlosingyourcool, and for the love of all things cool, if you have a burning question you'd like answered, go to shantellebisson.com/podcast and leave us a message for your question to be featured on our upcoming episodes!
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Until next time remember to keep doing the hard things, and show up like you mean it! Without Losing Your Cool!

Chapters

1. WLYC Epi 41 Michelle (00:00:00)

2. Marker - Why Michelle wrote her book, Crummy Conversations (00:03:15)

3. Marker .- Why it's so important for kids to see and understand the whole picture (00:06:36)

4. Marker - How to handle wishing we could go back and change things (00:08:48)

5. Marker - What Raising Your Kids Without Losing Your Cool actually means (00:10:03)

6. Marker - How Michelle transformed her communication style and in turn transformed her relationships (00:11:54)

7. Marker - How to bring your full self to your relationship (00:14:45)

8. Marker - The goal of intentional and empathetic communication (00:16:10)

9. Marker - The Courage to Communicate model (00:18:25)

10. Marker - Navigating situations that don't have a positive outcome (00:33:41)

11. Marker - The role of our Amygdala (00:35:10)

12. Marker - Differentiating between real danger and fight, flight or freeze (00:38:30)

13. Marker - Strategies to process and move forward in hard moments and feeling safe (00:39:59)

14. Marker - How to make uncomfortable conversations feel more natural (00:46:04)

15. Marker - What intentional and empthetic communication is (00:48:16)