Go offline with the Player FM app!
Series 1, Ep. 5 - Why Is My Vagina Stressed?
Manage episode 255335612 series 2632569
This was a really important story for me to share and I hope this episode will have a positive impact on others who are experiencing similar circumstances. From the age of 20 to 31 I was in a relationship with a very kind, caring and patient man. During our time together I suffered from a medical condition called vaginismus; if you aren’t familiar with the term, it is an involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles making sexual intercourse or any sexual activity that involves penetration painful or impossible. Physically, at points, I was able to have sex but I was in agony with tears welling up, every part of my body tensed and any passion sucked away as if transported to a smear test in a doctors surgery. You will hear about all the things I tried to resolve the issue, vaginal dilators, an operation, psychosexual therapy, hypnotherapy and how it led to a negative association with sex and intimacy. This coupled with perhaps a barrier built up from childhood around what love meant and maybe not emotionally processing my Dad’s death at the age of 15 made for what I realise now was a complicated 11 year relationship, although it didn’t feel like it at the time. As I read back over my diaries I identified certain events that may have caused the condition or worsened it, and no doubt how those events impacted the decisions I made in later life and the ways I reacted during the relationship.
Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/
Key Characters:
Erica, Dawn, Ellie, Lily - Some of my oldest friends
Dan - My ex boyfriend who I spent 11 years with from 2001 - 2012
Macey - My school crush
Mum, Dad - Family
Locations:
Chicago's Epsom - Now closed down
SU Bar Surrey Institute of Art & Design Epsom Campus - Now called https://www.uca.ac.uk/life-at-uca/locations/epsom/
https://www.greeneking-pubs.co.uk/pubs/cheshire/ladybrook/
https://www.libertylondon.com/
Cultural References:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euro
Entertainment References:
The Osbournes reality TV show is just about to launch on MTV
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Osbournes
https://www.campamerica.co.uk/
Gilbert & George
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilbert_%26_George
Ant & Dec
https://www.antanddec.com/
Medical References:
Vaginismus
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaginismus/
Vaginal Dilators
https://www.ouh.nhs.uk/patient-guide/leaflets/files/30804Pexercises.pdf
Psychosexual Therapy
https://www.letstalkaboutit.nhs.uk/other-services/psychosexual-counselling/
Hypnotherapy
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hypnotherapy/
Smear Test
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cervical-screening/
Vulva Pain Society
http://www.vulvalpainsociety.org/vps/
Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell, and edited and engineered by Ethan Illingworth
25 episodes
Manage episode 255335612 series 2632569
This was a really important story for me to share and I hope this episode will have a positive impact on others who are experiencing similar circumstances. From the age of 20 to 31 I was in a relationship with a very kind, caring and patient man. During our time together I suffered from a medical condition called vaginismus; if you aren’t familiar with the term, it is an involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles making sexual intercourse or any sexual activity that involves penetration painful or impossible. Physically, at points, I was able to have sex but I was in agony with tears welling up, every part of my body tensed and any passion sucked away as if transported to a smear test in a doctors surgery. You will hear about all the things I tried to resolve the issue, vaginal dilators, an operation, psychosexual therapy, hypnotherapy and how it led to a negative association with sex and intimacy. This coupled with perhaps a barrier built up from childhood around what love meant and maybe not emotionally processing my Dad’s death at the age of 15 made for what I realise now was a complicated 11 year relationship, although it didn’t feel like it at the time. As I read back over my diaries I identified certain events that may have caused the condition or worsened it, and no doubt how those events impacted the decisions I made in later life and the ways I reacted during the relationship.
Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/
Key Characters:
Erica, Dawn, Ellie, Lily - Some of my oldest friends
Dan - My ex boyfriend who I spent 11 years with from 2001 - 2012
Macey - My school crush
Mum, Dad - Family
Locations:
Chicago's Epsom - Now closed down
SU Bar Surrey Institute of Art & Design Epsom Campus - Now called https://www.uca.ac.uk/life-at-uca/locations/epsom/
https://www.greeneking-pubs.co.uk/pubs/cheshire/ladybrook/
https://www.libertylondon.com/
Cultural References:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euro
Entertainment References:
The Osbournes reality TV show is just about to launch on MTV
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Osbournes
https://www.campamerica.co.uk/
Gilbert & George
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilbert_%26_George
Ant & Dec
https://www.antanddec.com/
Medical References:
Vaginismus
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaginismus/
Vaginal Dilators
https://www.ouh.nhs.uk/patient-guide/leaflets/files/30804Pexercises.pdf
Psychosexual Therapy
https://www.letstalkaboutit.nhs.uk/other-services/psychosexual-counselling/
Hypnotherapy
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hypnotherapy/
Smear Test
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cervical-screening/
Vulva Pain Society
http://www.vulvalpainsociety.org/vps/
Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell, and edited and engineered by Ethan Illingworth
25 episodes
All episodes
×Welcome to Player FM!
Player FM is scanning the web for high-quality podcasts for you to enjoy right now. It's the best podcast app and works on Android, iPhone, and the web. Signup to sync subscriptions across devices.